To think that this way of behaving in a conversation is actually really rather bloody rude?

[HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer]

I keep getting a woman coming up to talk to me at the school gates. Her DD is in the same year as my DD. She seems harmless enough but talks about herself all the time. Me me me me me. On the rare occasion that I manage to get a word in edgeways she doesn't even acknowledge that I've spoken.

Today she came over to me to chat again, and was talking about herself, and her upcoming house move, and her daughter's dancing lessons and various other things. I tried to make comments and basically have a 2 way conversation but she wasn't interested. In the end I cut her off mid-sentence and said 'Oh well I hope you have a wonderful weeekend, I'm in a bit of a hurry so need to go now' and off I went.

Is it me or are people like that actually very rude? I have in the past been collared at the school by another mum who behaves in a similar way and actually now I do go out of my way to avoid her. I'm of the 'grab your child and get home ASAP' school of thought when it comes to school runs, maybe occasionally I'll have a chat with one or two of the mums that I'm close to, but i really resent having my 10 minutes of peace and quiet waiting outside the school being talked 'at'.

I have a neighbour who engages in this monologue-style type of 'conversation' every morning. I don't mind it if it's about her family, or other neighbours; at least I've met them. As some others have said, it can be undemanding and relaxing not to have to make an effort beyond making the right noises. Unfortunately most of the time the characters under the spotlight are people I've never met doing crushingly dull things in her workplace, which I've never been into. Or I get gory and protracted details of routine health problems, like constipation, and what's been in the pan today. Yippee.

Thing is, I know that it's partly my own fault. I'm a fairly private person and I've got a terrible habit of asking the kind of questions that positively encourage people to talk at me rather than ask me too much.

Maybe its something to do with social anxiety, mixed with boredom during the day, then almost being given a stopwatch and have 10 minutes to say all tnat there is to say, all at once!!
Porobably not used to really being listened to/listening (having an adult conversation)

Okay, how about this then:

One of DH's friends, who is not usually that interested in talking to me, will occasionally ask me a polite question, but then not bother listening to my reply - he will just bugger off and go do something else while I'm still mid sentence. Now THAT is incredibly rude! It's happened a couple of times. Admittedly he is not malicious and I know he is a bit of a scatter brain (no doubt preoccupied by his high-flying business thoughts), but I still think it really takes the .

I think it takes all sorts
For every witterer there is someone who finds witterers easy to be around
For every boring witterer there is an interesting one, and for every interesting quiet person there is a boring one
Different sorts of people like different sorts of people
And so on
There is room for everyone

Whitesands. Poor you.

My dad does this. I don't think its lack of intelligence or rudeness as some have said. I think its often a special need. My dad has never been diagnosed but i suspect he has adhd and possibly other things.

Conversational cues also vary hugely across cultures and different families. I really recommend Deborah Tannen's That's not what I meant - it has lots of examples like how some families normally talk over each other so one faced with a quiet person will instinctively chatter more to show its 'ok' to talk but the quieter person will think the other is rude and shut down even more, and you get spirals of miscommunication.
And cues of 'I'm wanting to speak' vary too. Also if your hearing is bad, you might not notice those English 'eh, eh' noises that indicate someone wants to speak - I don't but noone told me until I was at uni. Now I can tell people to tap my arm if I'm missing their attempts to speak but I know I offend people regularly.

I see you've met my SIL OP! {grin}

I just don't get it, have friend like this, sometimes I think maybe I just think my life is too boring so I dont' see any reason to try and inflict it on everyone I meet. Maybe these people are so enamoured of their life, their children that they think we're all fascinated!

ive got an ex SIL who is deaf. she phones and talks non stop without pausing for about 10 minutes then says i am off now bye, without me having said a word.

I either leave the phone on the side and go and do my stuff, or just hang up now. daft cow

Monkeys. Is she completely deaf?

Yes, OP, it's very rude. I like what Manicbmc said - you win either way.

Ynbu. Everyone knows one or 2 people like that. I wonder how these people ever really engage with anyone.

Yeah us deaf people are all daft cows.

Mekath I was shocked by that as well! I was hoping don'tgiveamonkeys would explain herself but looks like she won't. Horrible thing to think or say!

I think many people exhibit poor social skills, rattling on about themselves being one example. Some people are self-absorbed and utterly dull, others talk because they don't know how to engage in conversation.

I also think some people have a tendancy to attract wofflers because of incongruence, for example, they are thinking I don't want to talk to you, but their actions are stopping, smiling and nodding.

My personal bugbear is when I offer news like "I've just ordered dd a dress from x-shop" to be met with "Oh I hate that shop." One of my friends does this. She is actually a super nice person but she does tend to speak before thinking, as do so many people really.

OP - I think, in your situation, I would decide that there was nothing to be lost by saying to this woman:

"Excuse me, but do you realise you only ever talk about yourself, you show no interest in me and even interrupt me/cut me off when I do try to talk about anything that's not you?"

She might take a huge huff and never speak to you again (which doesn't sound like it would be a huge loss) or she might try to change.