To not want sex EVERY night?

[Bambino81]

Honestly the more he wants sex the more it makes me say no.

Does anyone else go through this? I get fed up with him trying for it every night. Sometimes he wakes me up at 3am >.

yanbu - your partner on the other hand is - if mine tried this on I'd have left him by now.
It's not unusual for people to have different libidos, but as a couple you have to find a compromise.

What Beamur said.

Pressure is the biggest turn off IMO.

He isn't being respectful of you at all if he's waking you at 3am.

YANBU. If you don't want it every night, you don't. Have you been candid with him about it? If not, that is quite U.

Blimey, I'm not getting enough.

Wakes you up at 3am? WTF? I would kill DH if he did this. Unless I gave birth to you or you aw dying you don't wake me up in the middle of the night. Tosser.
YANBU.

YANBU
I have told DH that desperation is not very attractive

I've been nice about it until last night when I told him too fuck off we'll see what he's like now?

How often do other couples do the deed?

YANBU.

It's morning sex I can't bear! Morning breath and the lost opportunity for extra sleep!

By "been nice about it." What do you mean though? Have you actually told him that you don't want to have sex every day?

DH and I are every other day, sometimes a few days in a row. There's no timetable really but neither of us likes to go more than 3/4 days without.

I wouldn't mind that amount but waking me up for it would make me absolutely livid and certainly not turned on. Sleep is the most important thing!

If anyone woke me at 3am, for sex or otherwise, I'd probably bite them. And not in a good way

DH actually does do the middle of the night thing. I sometimes do it to him as well. Although it's not terriby regular. It's just something that we've always done really and with 4 young kids it's about the only chance for sponteneity there is!

It doesn't matter how often other people do it, your DH is not "entitled" to sex a certain number of times a week/night/month. (Just thinking back to my thought patterns when I used to ask these questions...)

In most healthy relationships frequency of sex varies - sometimes it might be weeks or months without sex, other times it might be more than once a day.

Nobody has the right to expect sex from you on any kind of regular basis, and nobody has the right to pressure you for sex.

YANBU.
Once a year week is more than enough :)

Your DH sounds like he is using you as an inflatable doll! YADNBU!

I'm with Annie

YANBU

Op isn't saying he's forcing her or taking a huff, hardly means he's using her like a blow-up doll. Maybe he's just giving her a wink. She says no. They go to sleep.

slowestwildebeast if he is waking her up then he is not just giving her a wink is he!

I really really resent being woken up unecessarily and did have words with DH when he used to stay up late then wake me up to see if I was interested. Funnily enough I wasn't in the mood... especially as I had to get up for work 5 hours later and he didn't.

Maybe her snoring wakes him up. Unless he's doing it after being told to stop then he's hardly satan.

I she is snoring then she is clearly asleep so not probably not interested...

He is not satan but he is possibly inconsiderate and unreasonable.

My DH was a selfish bastard wanted sex every night. Regardless of whether I was being woken by small DCs, was getting up for feeds etc.

Sadly I didn't find a solution but now think I should have made sure I got something out of it eg he babysits several nights a week, a day out with gfs at the weekend, he takes DCs out at weekend somewhere that takes all day etc.

Once you are awakened and cross it really disturbs your sleep.

Make sure you get something that YOU want out of this OP.

Tbf we DID used to do the 3am sex thing a fair bit so that's why he wakes me up (I used to wake him up) my sex drive fluctuates a lot so he doesn't know if he's coming or going.

I still want to know wether or not OP has actually voiced her annoyance prior to telling him to fuck off. Because i can't decide if she's being U or not until she clarifies.