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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

More what would you say in response? Friend A won't have friend B's child over to play because he screams high pitched regularly

105 replies

pingu2209 · 19/04/2012 18:06

Pretty much as the title says. I remained quiet and very carefully changed the subject. My friend A confided in me last night that she will never have a mutual friend's son over to play any more because he screams and it gets on her nerves.

I didn't know what to say - okay yes the boy does scream. But all the children are friends and really like each other.

I felt it was a bit harsh.

OP posts:
Mrsjay · 19/04/2012 18:08

She can have whatever child she likes in her home really i dont think its harsh tbh if the boy is a screamer and it gets on her nerves she doesnt have to let him over even if the boys are friends ,

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos · 19/04/2012 18:11

I wouldn't want a screamer in my house either. How old are these children? Why hasn't the child been told to stop screaming, especially at other peoples houses?

WorraLiberty · 19/04/2012 18:12

No I wouldn't want a real screamer either....especially if I thought my son's might start to copy.

You haven't said how old they are though?

Ephiny · 19/04/2012 18:13

It's her house, and her choice who she invites into it. Not sure what more there is to say really Confused.

Don't think I'd want that child in my home either!

Catsdontcare · 19/04/2012 18:13

I hate high pitched screaming really really can't bare it

gafhyb · 19/04/2012 18:13

He wouldn't be my top choice of playmate in the house, but I would never "ban" anyone. Some friends are better seen in the park.

upahill · 19/04/2012 18:14

I have sympathy for your friend tbh.
I wouldn't want someone who gave me headaches in my house. The high pitch noise would make me grumpy and make me feel on edge - why would I want that in my house. Also it is very annoying for the neighbours as this sound carries.

The three of you could still meet up at soft play areas, parks, swimming sessions etc until he grows out of this stage, which he will.

gafhyb · 19/04/2012 18:14

... or, yes, try and get him to stop.

LentillyFart · 19/04/2012 18:14

It's a noise that drives me to incandescent rage. Why would ANYONE want that in their house?

WorraLiberty · 19/04/2012 18:16

There are 3 little girls who live roughly 11 doors or so from me

Their screaming in the garden makes my head spin....I have no idea how their parents suffer it.

upahill · 19/04/2012 18:16

Tbh gafhyb I wouldn't try to get him to stop, that is the child's mothers job.
It would be no doubt be seen as a critisim and taken as an insult to her parenting skills.
Best solution - meet elsewhere for the time being and OP don't repeat the conversation to the screamers mum!

judybart · 19/04/2012 18:18

This isn't about screaming is it really? It's about this child finding that the only way he can get any attention is to scream. This can happen if a child is from quite a big and/or noisy family and is the youngest. Try giving him lots of attention when he's not screaming and ignore the screaming. What you focus on is what you get more of - NLP!

upahill · 19/04/2012 18:20

Still wouldn't want him in my house while he is a screamer judybart!!!

WorraLiberty · 19/04/2012 18:22

Kids don't just scream for attention

thisisyesterday · 19/04/2012 18:23

i have to admit I have a very, very low tolerance for that hideous high-pitched screaming some children do.

i really, really just can't stand it.

so can understand why your friend isn't keen to have this child over, if he really does do it a lot

halcyondays · 19/04/2012 18:25

I wouldn't say anything really, it's up to her. My dds scream at home sometimes but they would know better than to do it if they were invited to a friend's house.

thisisyesterday · 19/04/2012 18:25

not necessarily judybart

i have a friend with 2 little girls and they both scream a lot when playing together. it's nothing to do with attention from anyone cos they don't get any, they're happily playing- just scremaing while doing it

QuintessentialShadows · 19/04/2012 18:25

One of my sons friends screams with a high pitched noise when he plays. I rarely invite him home.... It drives me nuts.

gafhyb · 19/04/2012 18:26

upahil

But just think how grateful she'd be if you succeeded ? (I'm assuming the mum isn't in the house when this is going on? - I wouldn't say anything if he was in her care)

Mrsjay · 19/04/2012 18:27

so kids just scream and especially if that scream is that high pitched scream goes right through you , doesnt mean the boys dont have to stop being friends or not meet up , playdates are overrated imo Grin

Mrsjay · 19/04/2012 18:28

some* kids

birdsofshoreandsea · 19/04/2012 18:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oldraver · 19/04/2012 18:29

I disengaged from a Mum because of this..her child would screech and scream then demand her attention while we were trying to chat.... and she would immediately brake off to pander to him.

MagsAloof · 19/04/2012 18:31

How old is he?

Btw, people

  • 'break' and 'bear'

Just saying

HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer · 19/04/2012 18:31

I don't blame her. More and more kids are irritating and badly behaved these days, and I don't let any of them round! The DCs can play with them at school if they wish to

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