More what would you say in response? Friend A won't have friend B's child over to play because he screams high pitched regularly

[pingu2209]

Pretty much as the title says. I remained quiet and very carefully changed the subject. My friend A confided in me last night that she will never have a mutual friend's son over to play any more because he screams and it gets on her nerves.

I didn't know what to say - okay yes the boy does scream. But all the children are friends and really like each other.

I felt it was a bit harsh.

I Do Not Tolerate awful children noises. I don't have it. So unless this child could restrain himself in my house I wouldn't have him over either.

Red; I have a two year old squealer. I have two older children who were not like that and yes, it's embarrassing, especially on the bus. I think it particularly irritates people with hearing aids and I too, try my hardest but some days seriously what can you do? I just find myself apologising a lot. I wouldn't say he did it all day every day; but at least several times a week. Lately I have started holding his nose closed when he does it as you can't effectively squeal and breathe at the same time! He's wising up to it though and squeals with his head back!

I think the most unreasonable thing was putting you in an awkward position with friend b

red - my nephew was like that at 2 - they had speech therapy and he is fine and on par for his age group now :-)

I wouldn't want him in my house either. One of my own was a screamer, I sure as hell wouldn't want to have another in my home!

If any of DS1's 2 year old friends were real screamers and I was friends with their mum and they were clearly trying to deal with it,they'd be welcome chez Bringme. I love company, screams and all.

That said I knew a woman whose daughter was a screamer. She did it because her parents rowed bitterly in front of her, it was a diversion. It then became almost conversation, ear splitting scream for every no that DS used to think it was hilarious to copy. I withdrew from the friendship because she used to spa k her two year old as a punishment for the screaming :(

*spank.

Btw DS had speech therapy at 2 and it helped massively. Chat to HV, ours was lovely and always follows up.

Redstormrising please don't punish your son for screaming - he's really too young to help himself or understand the problem. I do sympathise with you because it's shitty attitudes as displayed on this thread that drive you to try and stop the behaviour even if doing so is unreasonable and unfair to the child.

I hate, hate, hate all this oh-yes-we-are-so-perfect-and-well-behaved-in-this-house-and can't-possibly-allow-any-lesser-naughty-children-here attitude and this sort of competitive intolerance and looking down on other parents and children.

Get over yourselves.

So a few kids screamed at a birthday party and he was one of them, and he is now labelled 'a screamer', and people won't have him round?

Have they tried telling him not to scream while visiting?
I'm sure a seven year old child is capable of not screaming in certain situations. I bet he doesn't scream at school.

I would want to smack him as I don't do screamers child or adult do no your friend is completely normal.

What's harsh is tolerating his screaming, his mom

Needs to know its not a acceptable behaviour, you invite him instead. Good luck

I wouldn't have a screamer in my house,(unless they have sn)

Crikey i hope friend A's children are perfectly behaved now and in the future.Going round criticising somebody else's children to her friends other people's children is just riding for a fall! This is going to come back and bite her on the bottom!!

It's making me laugh the way some are getting irate and stroppy about some people - shock horror - making their own choices about who they will allow in their house.

As far as I'm concerned it is my house, my rules. I won't tolerate anything from a child in my house that I wouldn't tolerate from my own. DD2 has a friend with terrible manners, who never says please and thank you unless prompted, and the last time she came round she hid the remote controller, smirked as we all looked for it and then 3 hours later just as she was about to go home, admitted with another smirk that she had hidden it and where she had hidden it. She hid it as my 3 year old DS wanted to watch something on tv that she didn't want to watch. She won't be invited back again. I wouldn't tolerate that sort of sneaky, mean behaviour from any of my DCs so I'm buggered if I'm going to take it from someone else's child!

I can't see the problem in having boundaries. No way would I let it be a free-for-all for visiting children at my house!

The thing is, we are absolutely not oh so perfect and well behaved in this house, at times the dds scream and shout and fight like cats but that's at home. Children generally play up more when they are in their own home with their parents. They tend to behave better when they are at someone else's house or at at school or at Brownies or whatever. Maybe a birthday party is a bit different and they got carried away. We have to put up with our own children's behaviour at times but it is up to this mum if she doesn't want to have another child screaming in her house.

All kids do it at some point, it's a phase and how long it lasts depends on your reaction to it.

If a child can behave at school and communicate without resorting to screaming then that child can also do so at home. The big difference is that this would not be tolerated in school along with lots of other sets of behaviours. So take a leaf out of their book and don't tolerate it at home.

Now if anyone is interested I've got a good little line of mini cattle prods going....?

Red, there is no need to worry too much about a child that isn't two yet screaming. Children that age do scream and have tantrums as they're so young. It is very different if it's a seven year old. As someone said, a seven year old goes to school and they would not get away with screaming in school, they are old enough to understand that there is a time and a place.

I'm with friend A, I don't tolerate screamers either.

A 7 yr old who screams all the time? He obviously has some sort of SN.

You don't have to have him in your house no, but I don't really see how inviting lots of other MN-ers to go 'urgh, awful kid, you are justified' is helpful?

Screaming, like blowing whistles and bouncing balls is for OUTSIDE play. If the kids don't get that then YANBU not to have them around.

Red, punishing your not-quite-two-year-old with a "naughty room" for screaming doesn't sound like a great idea to me - maybe see the HV for some help/support?

However, I wouldn't want to invite a screamy 7 year old round too often either.

some of you are gonna LUV your DDs when they hit their teens!! My girls aren't that old yet but I am reliably informed that teenage girls in groups scream!!!

Once again on a thread we are making assumptions obviously he has special needs Why obviously. Some kids in DS1 and 2 kids wound themselves up, got manic and then screams in over excitment then that would wind the other kids up.

It was a phase and eventually they grew out of it and are now at secondary school not screaming. However I maintain that I still don't want screaming in my house. Outdoors where they can run about and burn off energy is fine.

OP why do you give a shit whether your friend wants to invite another child over or not