First of all this is not a 'poor me, please feel sorry for me thread'. Honestly it's not but I am really beginning to wonder if I will ever get over their deaths.
I am 45, healthy, good marriage, fantastic kids, a job I really enjoy and financially OK (not flash, but OKish most of the time). My mum had a horrendous time with cancer and died almost two years ago in a horrible, horrible way that left me and my dad totally traumatised. My dad then died totally unexpectedly 6 months later. I was very close to both of them and I miss them so much it can be unbearable sometimes.
I 'look' fine, I tell everyone I'm fine, I don't think I'm depressed but I am really struggling with just not seeing them or talking to them. My mum used to drive me nuts with her ridiculous phone calls telling me a load of old tosh for an hour but God I would give anything for one of those calls now.
I don't spend my days sobbing, I have a good life with great friends etc. It's just, I dunno really, it sounds very childish but I just want them back. At the risk of sounding ridiculous I sometimes pretend to myself that they're on holiday and that's why I can't talk to them or see them.
Those of you who have been through this, does it get easier? Or am I just a saddo that needs to get a grip now?