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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

In bloody tears because of SIL.

122 replies

SchrodingersMew · 16/04/2012 20:01

I have been selling some of my unwanted baby stuff as it's cluttering the house and tonight DP has had a phone call from his sister demanding everything she has bought my DS back as "she's not paying good money for it to be sold", none of the things she has given us has been put up for sale, she didn't even ask if it was the same items and after DP told her this she still went on a rant (I could hear her on the phone from the other side of the room).
At the end of the call she had the cheek to ask when she could take my DS.
I am fuming, I have had to put up with her erratic moods for years and have just ignored it, even when she was in my house about 3 days after DS was born and went into a mood because other people were holding him (her parents).

I am fed up with it and have boxed everything up that she has given us and phoned her parents house (she lives there) to say it can be picked up whenever she wants.

I don't want to feel that I owe anyone anything, I also don't want her to see DS anymore.

To make things worse I am meant to be her bridesmaid in a matter of weeks but I will be giving her the dress with the things she gave DS.

AIBU and acting over the top because I'm upset?

OP posts:

Nobhead · 16/04/2012 20:38

Jesus she sounds like a whack job! I wouldn't make any rash decisions about being a bridesmaid though- I imagine it would cause no end of shit between the family. Give her the gifts back with a note explaining that you weren't going to sell them and thank her for the kind offer to store them for you at her house and you would like to take her up on the offer . Seriously though whack job!

LeQueen · 16/04/2012 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pumpkinsweetie · 16/04/2012 20:38

Oh my, how very childish.

OhdearNigel · 16/04/2012 20:38

bottles ??? [head explodes at thought of someone getting huffy about bottles]

thisisyesterday · 16/04/2012 20:39

ok, my new, slightly calmer answer would be to simply ignore her.

if she phones and starts ranting, just put the phone down on her.
she's behaving like a spoilt child, so treat her like one. I ignore my children if they're tantrumming.

if you're face to face and she goes off on one then just get up and walk away and say "when you can talk to me sensibly come and find me"

picnicbasketcase · 16/04/2012 20:40

So she's already fired you once but rehired you in case you stopped her seeing your DS? She certainly sounds...mercurial. TBH I don't blame you for wanting to send the dress back.

doctordwt · 16/04/2012 20:40

I think I remember a couple of your threads on her, and your PIL. Something to do with dogs???

If she's as bad as I dimly remember, I'd take any opportunity to sever ties!!!

Original poster

SchrodingersMew · 16/04/2012 20:40

LeQueen- Thanks, how would you like me to behave? She has caused no end of arguments with us and I am fed up with it. Up until now I have just sucked it up.

OP posts:

Shriekable · 16/04/2012 20:41

TBH she sounds like a bit of a nut job, and I would want her at arms length from my family. Return the stuff she gave you - as SHE requested - see if she says anything about you being bridesmaid. If she still wants you to do it, grin and bear it. If she gets nasty, return the dress. And take a very large step back from her. YANBU.

thisisyesterday · 16/04/2012 20:41

ok i missed the last few posts

she un-bridesmaided you, and then changed her mind?

FUCK HER!

seriously. she is a loon. don't be all "turn the other cheek". erase my last message from your mind!

I tell her you really don't need this kind of shit in your lives. give her the bottles and playmat back, and the dress.
if she wants to play drama queen let her play it elsewhere.

gemma4d · 16/04/2012 20:41

Seems to me you need to make a decision:

I want her in my life in the future: rise above it / try and talk to her - or get DH too :-P
I've done with her: go ahead and remove every trace of her.

But don't do (2) and then want (1)!

angelberry · 16/04/2012 20:41

Based on your last post, I certainly wouldn't be her bridesmaid! What did you say when she 'sacked' you the first time? Why on earth did you agree to do it after that?
I'm going to go against the grain OP, and say no you aren't bloody overreacting. Put the bridesmaids dress in the box, put it all on her mother's doorstep and wash your hands of her.
She's a spoilt little madam who has gone too far this time.

Do it all now while you're still angry. The reason people opt to keep the peace once they've 'slept on it' is because the more rational among us like to avoid a scene. Why should we always be the ones to pander to people like her?

Original poster

SchrodingersMew · 16/04/2012 20:42

Doctor- Yes, that was me and one about her insisting on taking ds on her own the week he was born.

OP posts:

boredandrestless · 16/04/2012 20:42

Is this the SIL who wanted to take your newborn baby out for the day are am I confusing you with someone else?

lonelypuff · 16/04/2012 20:44

She's toxic. Cut her out.

Original poster

SchrodingersMew · 16/04/2012 20:44

Gemma- I'm pretty sure dp is scared of arguing with her. :o
Angel- I ignored her at the time and agreed again because she apologised and to keep the peace.

OP posts:

Original poster

SchrodingersMew · 16/04/2012 20:45

Bored- Yes, that was her.

OP posts:

Kayano · 16/04/2012 20:46

I am not a particularly nice person and would have done what you did and also told her to go fuck herself

And her wedding

JarethTheGoblinKing · 16/04/2012 20:46

Don't give her the presents back, but tbh is give back the wedding dress.

Bint.

Original poster

SchrodingersMew · 16/04/2012 20:48

Kayano- I am normally very nice and don't like to annoy people but I think I have reached my limit on shit I can take.

OP posts:

kitbit · 16/04/2012 20:48

She's bonkers.
I would use the opportunity to remove myself from the relationship, I really would. She has ownership issues over your son plus she's behaving like a spoilt brat. Do you want her to be an influence over your son?

Sorry to all those who strongly feel that you should put up with your family come what may. Life's too short.

TandB · 16/04/2012 20:48

Wasn't it you whose SIL wanted to take the baby away overnight when he was about a week old?

In any event, I would suggest just giving her the stuff back as per her request and not engaging further on the subject. It sounds like she thrives on drama so if you don't engage you take the power away from her.

SIL: Give me my stuff back
You: There you go.
SIL: er....

Not sure about the bridesmaid thing - if it were me I would be sending the dress back with a note saying "I assume you won't be needing me given recent developments" but I suppose that just gets you sucked into a potential argument again.

TandB · 16/04/2012 20:49

Oops, x-posted. It was you. She is weird.

snowbellblues · 16/04/2012 20:50

She dosn't sound like a very happy girl. You sound strong/happy and you are the lucky one.

Kayano · 16/04/2012 20:50

I don't blame you

Do it and make it clear how totally
Pathetic her behaviour is.

Why did she unbridesmaid you?

She sounds
About 12

What does DH have to say?

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