AIBU to think that it is rare that a child

[helloclitty]

will have a career outside the level of their parents interests or expectations. Or indeed their parents own specific career paths.

AIBU to think that social mobility can never really exist even if all education was free. Ultimately we are all products of our own parents knowledge base and expectations except for a rare few?

And even those who say they really don't mind what their children do as a career actually do create an unspoken level of expectation which influences their children massively.

YABU. My parents' jobs / interests etc have nothing at all to do with my career.

If you'd said something about parental expectations and support being key to children going on to achieve in later life, I'd have agreed with you completely

hmm yeas iswym
we encourage our children's interests and aptitudes in areas with which we are familiar, and are completely out of our depth in other areas.
Our DCs could be doctors, although neither of us are medical. Neither is likely to be a concert pianist or ballet dancer. But then maybe that's just my expectation - maybe they will surprise me.

I'm not sure that's true - the numbers of people going to university are much greater now than they were a generation ago, for example.

My parents had no influence on my career, or my brother's, they were never anything other than supportive.

Well, my dad's an engineer, my mum's a SAHM and I manage a small independent toy shop.

What my parents did had no bearing on the careers of DB and I.

YABU. What twaddle! My DH is high flying lawyer his Dad was plumber his Mum SAHM. He did what he wanted to do his parents had no input or encouragement to offer him. My parents thought I would amount to nothing and encouraged me to apply for crap jobs (all I would be suitable for) I spent 20 years as a retail manager instead. I will absolutely let my Dcs' make their own decisions about career.

Totally YABU. I have a career that was totally remote from my parents, as does my husband, one upwards and one, to them, downwards. I fully expect all my children to surprise and delight me.

Dunno. I'm a law student, my dad was a postman who left school at 12 and mum was a dinner lady who left school at 16.

I'm sure you can find plenty of examples of the children of middle class professionals going off and becoming plumbers or the children of bin men becoming doctors. But generally middle class people are quite good at ensuring their own children have at least the opportunity to follow a professional career (or marry someone who does). Lots of families where there are generations of doctors, or generations of lawyers or vicars.

My parents were both grammar school kids - my Mother the first in her working class family to go to university (although her parents were both educated, they'd done it themselves - both had to leave school at 14 to earn a living). My sisters and I are all in professional jobs. Although one sister rebelled for quite a long time before getting there...

I tried very hard not to do the same thing as my Mum, went off and studied entirely different stuff, dropped out and got a job - the sort of thing she hated - but eventually gave in and realised I really did want to work in the same kind of field. Dh has also ended up in a similar career despite not really starting out that way.

Let's hope ds does something different, there's not that much money in journalism these days. Although I did rather object to the friend of mine who cheerfully said her son (mid-teens) would probably grow up to be an actuary, the poor sod! in case she finds this thread...

my dad was a miner and my mum was a sahm

my dad retrained as a teacher and my mum took a couple of cleaning jobs

I run my own business.

my husband's parents were farmers

He runs his own business.

Our children will likely have no career (they have autism and will likely require support as adults)

So it's not always true

That said, when I was my son's advocate in his medical negligence legal action, the damages calculation included loss of future earnings - and that was calculated on our occupations. So it must be common enough to be able to tell roughly what someone is likely to be based on their parents.

What a crock of shit

YABU.

My mum has never worked and my dad was a career criminal. I am a teacher.

well I work in a technical job like my dad, in a health setting, like my mum :o
So I'm biased
And actually my job bears very little resmblence to either of theirs

I disagree. What i chose to do as a career is absolutley nothing any where near what my parents were interested in or did.
Same goes for DH.

YABU

I don't agree at all. Education gives gives children more choice, opportunity and self belief than ever before imo.

As long as said child is happy and can keep themselves, what does it matter op?

I am not saying that the career is the necessarily the same industry but the expectation your parents have.

Kladdkaka did your parents give you the support to believe that it was possible to become a lawyer.

I came from a family where the level of expectation was that it would be unachievable to even think about becoming a professional, even though my DSis was top of her class. It was expected we would leave school at 16 and go to work.

I don't believe that to be true, my sister is an industrial chemist, my brother is the buyer/manager for a very large wholesalers, I am an accountant, my father was an accountant, my eldest sister works in computer software. My brother inlaw is a policeman, his brother is an accountant and their father is an engineer very different career paths.

Another brother in law is an engineer his father worked in banking.

My father started out working in a factory puling a lever all day long, his father was a French polisher, my father decided to get a job in a bank and eventually went to night school to qualify as an accountant.

I hope my children do something they enjoy I don't care as long as they can support themselves and are happy.

YABU.

What exactly is a crock of shit Kayano ?

Whose argument are you disagreeing with? Can you elaborate - in a polite and reasonable fashion?

What Kanyo said. Nonsense.

I left school at 16 against my parents' wishes and got a career that lasted 21 years. My DB went to university and is very very successful now.

Both sets of my grandparents were subsistence farmers. Between the two families they have produced
5 teachers
1 psychologist
1 civil servant
1 bank official
2 carpenters.
a couple of farmers
My parents - carpenter and SAHM have produced
1 actor
1 psychologist
2 social workers.
I have 48 cousins in total, amongst which are lawyers, policemen, doctors, nurses, self employed and one or two free spirits.
It is about access to education love that is all it is about

My parents' expectations were even lower, OP. I decided they were wrong.

YABU - Although it is not common enough I do think that it is money that holds many children back rather than a lack of aspiration from their parents. My father was a lorry driver and left school at 14. My mum whilst enjoying reading and having a good general knowledge also left school at 17 and was not a professional person. I got 3 A grade A -levels and a 1st class degree and worked in the City for many years. My parents never pushed me but they were interested and proud of what I did. However I had to get sponsorship to go to Uni as otherwise I could not have afforded it and my parents could not help. I also had a full grant. I fear for kids today who will not find this funding available to them.

I think your post is too broad brush in suggesting poorer parents are hampering their children's future prospects. It is unfair to many parents who may not have done well at school themselves but who want the best for their own children and look to support them where they can. However I do agree that it is more difficult for kids to succeed academically if they have a home background where there are no books or other academic stimulation but it can happen. For this reason I believe that extra support must be given to able pupils from less privileged backgrounds to succeed.