AIBU to think that it is rare that a child

[helloclitty]

will have a career outside the level of their parents interests or expectations. Or indeed their parents own specific career paths.

AIBU to think that social mobility can never really exist even if all education was free. Ultimately we are all products of our own parents knowledge base and expectations except for a rare few?

And even those who say they really don't mind what their children do as a career actually do create an unspoken level of expectation which influences their children massively.

There is definately less social mobility now than a generation ago so all the people saying 'I'm successful even though my DPs didnt encourage me' had more opportunities then those born in the last 20 years.

I have missed out on career opportunities because my parents couldnt or wouldnt provide the level of support given to most of my peers.

Dhs dad was a uni lecturer, his mum is still a reflexologist. He owns a restaurant. My dad was in the police and mum a pharmacist. I run the complaints division for a Meter operator. So no I think yabu. My dd is a gymnast, neither me or dh have ever had an interest in that until dd did. Dh hates football (great for me) but if ds develops an interest we would support that.

loopsylou

At my school I was in top sets for all subjects (large school) but I don't know anyone who went on to uni. Actually, I do, there was the head boy who was 5 years above me who did go to uni and the fact I know that shows how rare it was!
I think around 20% actually took exams and obviously not all those passed! There was little parental support throughout the school.

When was this? Where? :(

loopslou
Can't divulge too much as don't want to out myself.

I mostly agree with you OP, but there are such striking exceptions that they don't seem as rare as they are. eg, Lance Armstrong & Bill Clinton.

Not the case hears ago. Nearly everyone I grew up with came from working class background where no-one had been to uni. Most are all better educated and have probably what is considered much better and more successful jobs than their parents. My husband came from a poor family and has done very well given his start, if anything I worry that it's a lot for our children to live up to.

Statistically it's true, there is very little social mobility. And it's set to get worse what with all the fabulous opportunities in FE and HE

Just because theres a load of anecdotes on this thread means nothing - of course there's plenty of lovely mumsnetters who are exceptions to this rule

Mine too - father an alkie in prison, mother an alkie unemployed. Me successful post-grad with professional job.

loopyloops, your Dad was a career criminal?! Wow. That must have been, ahem, a tad tricky for you at times... (unless he was a really successful career criminal with wads of cash, I suppose).

Despite all the protestations, the facts are very clear, social mobility is very very low indeed.

Sure many of us can give anecdotes about changes in fortune. Mine is probably one of the most extreme cases of upward mobility...but let's not delude ourselves.

The education of the parents and their income will have the greatest influence on the DC. The poor will have huge struggles to get out of poverty. And the positions of money power and influence will remain for the most part within the same social class.

StbXh is a now a teacher after being a singer/actor for over 20 years.

His mother worked in a dry cleaners, his dad is barely literate and (after being released from prison) worked in factories.

There is not one book, cd or radio in their house. He left school with 1 gcse after becoming ill during the last 2 years. They told him to get a job in the local supermarket.

No he was unfortunately pretty crap at it.

Loops

No I would say nearly all my friends I grew up with have done better than their parents, have nicer houses,cars, holidays etc - not rich but better. But as I said we were quite poor and my family lived in practically slum conditions where a move to a 2 bed council house for a family 5 or more was seen as luxury. All depends where you started out and how poor you were I guess.

I think grammar schools should be reintroduced in all areas.

My own experience aside, I work in a school in a challenging area.

95% of the children there have no desire to go anywhere else / go to university etc.

Even the very brightest girl I know there wants to be a Veterinary Nurse.
When I asked her why she doesn't want to be a vet, she said that vets are posh.

Diabolo

That's what I was trying (badly) to explain.

Well I think YABU, My Mother always drummed it into my head from being young that I would end up pregnant (just like her) before the age of 18) I excelled her expectations and fell pregnant at the age of 15 :) Go me!

Only difference was I did not have my child(children) took off me for sniffing glue/drinking/taking drugs etc. (she is still an alcoholic btw)

My Mothers Mother looked after me from birth pretty much and I went back to my Mum at the age of 11 then ended up in care.

I was in care and ran away when I found out I was pregnant which was 200 miles away and I have been here ever since, I now own my own business, Car, House and this is worlds apart from how my parents live.

Sorry if this post has gone a bit off subject but I find the question/statement from op a bit tedius, I have 3 kids, 1 is a lazy bum,1 wants to be a vet and the other wants to be an accountant (he is 6 lol but very good with maths) I will support my children with whatever they want to do :) (apart from the lazy bum he will work with me , get a job or find somewhere else to live)

My dad was a disabled factory worker and mum worked on a market stall.I grew up in a council house in a pit village.I went to grammar school and eventually got a dgree and became a teacher.Dh had a similar background and was a university lecturer.

BBQ I agree with you 100%

YABU

My father was a car salesman and my mother was a secretary. Her father was in the merchant navy and her mum was a SAHM.

My father was incredibly unsupportive of my academic promise as a child. My grandparents, who brought me up from the age of 12, were supportive but not pushy, and didn't really have any specific ambition for me beyond me going to university which no-one else in the family had done.

I became a lawyer. My father seems perpetually surprised that this happened.

Sorry not my experience at all. Father a factory worker, mum a cleaner.
Our jobs,
Newspaper Reporter, Teacher, Factory Worker, Nursery Nurse/lsa, Receptionist, Computer Programmer and Bank Official.
Obviously not all middle class professions but achieved best we could given our academic ability.

You have 48 cousins!!!!

you have 48 cousins!!

Thing is, I worry that social mobility is actually going backwards. Especially with ludicrously expensive tuition fees. It's all very well for people from middle class backgrounds to say 'it's an investment in your future' but many people from poorer backgrounds, will be quite rightly worried about getting into debt - debt that may not be worth it given the economy and increasing job insecurity for everyone, not merely the low-paid in call centres.

How our children are supposed to cope with incredibly expensive housing, incredibly expensive education, and low job security, I do not know.