AIBU to think that it is rare that a child

[helloclitty]

will have a career outside the level of their parents interests or expectations. Or indeed their parents own specific career paths.

AIBU to think that social mobility can never really exist even if all education was free. Ultimately we are all products of our own parents knowledge base and expectations except for a rare few?

And even those who say they really don't mind what their children do as a career actually do create an unspoken level of expectation which influences their children massively.

YABU - I'm another one who has moved away from parental expectation/experience.

First one in either family to stay on at school after 16, and went on to Uni, as did my sister

Well my parents worked as a store man and a secretary and I'm an architect qualified 15 years ago.

YABU

YABU. It doesn't have to be that way at all.

My parents are both bright, however neither finished higher or further education, nor worked in professional careers. Neither did my grandparents. My dad was a factory worker who worked his way up to lower management through sheer hard work, got a self interest in learning more and now worked sorting out stuff for a delivery company. My mum went back to education after raising me and my siblings when in her 30s, learnt ICT skills and no has an office job.

However, me, my brother and my sister all went to university and we all have had careers in different fields. I trained and worked as a teacher. My brother trained and works as an engineer, using computer programming, etc. My sister trained and works as a solicitor.

My parents showed us how important education was and taught us to to see it as important, and they encouraged all the way. But we do nothing like what our parents did/do. And they showed us the importance of working hard to better yourselves, like they did.

Yabu.

My brother and I went to a russell group Uni, no-one else from our family has ever been to University.

My brother is also an extremely succesful person in an industry which didn't exist when my parents were young.

None of us do any work similar in any way to our parents. Nor have we ever.

loopyloops
Good to hear that Loops.

I am happy to think I must be wrong having read all the replies. Maybe it was just I didn't have the ability to change what was expected of me but I have always liked to think that if my parents expectations had been a bit higher I might have had a better career.

YABU, dad was a bar owner, mum was a cleaner, and I am a professional, in nothing related to either careers above.

Although dh followed his dads career, not through choice, but through job opportunity.

AIBU to think that social mobility can never really exist even if all education was free

Yes. You are.

My parents are products of the grammar system. Their lives are a world away from their parent's lives. One had encouragement from their parents, one had complete indifference bordering on obstructiveness. The one with the arsehole parents has more qualifications, earns more and has a career with higher 'prestige.' And a child born today in the house they were born in will have local schools that don't hit 20% for 5 a-c grades at GCSE to go to. And no grant for uni. And fees to pay.

I haven't been directed in any particular way by my parents, other than to do my best.

My mum was a SAHM till I was 7or so, eventually working her way up to being a Special Needs TA.

My dad has always been a manual labourer.

As it turns out, my sister is a mental health nurse and I am a solicitor. If Iwas to point to one thing that led me to my career, I'd say it was because my GM who looked after us after school used to watch a lot of Perry Mason! I've wanted to be Perry Mason since I was 7!

Careful there onehandflapping you are sounding professionally offended. easy

My parents had no expectations of me in terms of my career, it was entirely my choice and my motivation.

I think it's ok to think your parents didn't encourage you as much as you would have wished. However you can't hold them responsibly forever. You are an adult now. You can change your life with night classes/ the ou/ further training etc. just go for it!

I think YABU. My parents barely worked when I was growing up, my mum still doesn't, dad does a few hours on his friend's fruit and veg stall. They never really pushed us to achieve or filled us with ambition, we did that ourselves.

I have worked my arse off since I left school, and although I don't exactly have a high flying career, I have a career that I love and am likely to always have work. My sister is also very successful in social work.

Likewise, my best friend has 7 siblings and was raised by a single parent in a poor village in Africa. Her mother had no education and comes from a culture/religion where women aren't really encouraged to have careers or be high achievers. They came to the UK when my friend was 10, and she is now a psychologist with a good degree. One of her sisters has just finished a masters in accountancy and the other is halfway through a degree in medicine.

OOohhhh Maryz no string pulling in Ireland, are you totally sure about that? I saw heavy strings yanked by one family in our town. I cannot agree with that.

i dont agree i'm afraid, my sister & i both have completely different careers & lifestyles to our parents (both parents factory workers).
But i sort of know what you mean as there was no expectation on us or indeed encouragement to got on to FE or have high ambitions.
What they did do was ensure we were confident well rounded people with self belief, this ahs allowed us to follow our own ambitions.

I think that is true to a point, particularly with jobs that involve a very specific talent e.g. dancer, swimmer, gymnast etc. There are so many different hobbies that it is rare for a child to be able to sample all of them and often parents who have a real passion for something are keen for their children to try it so there does end up being a bit of a bias. For example, it's more likely for a child to become a show jumper if they have two parents who ride and love horses than it is if their parents have no interest in horses. Not impossible or unheard of, but definitely less likely I think.

Not my experience at all, my paternal Grandfather is a painter and decorator, my Father is a geologist ( university educated, top tax bracket earning) My mother was a SAHM/ ran a couple of small businesses/ has now set up and runs a cafe. I am a SAHM (used to be a Carer)who was fully expected to go to university and have a 'career' and Dbro is an engineer.
DPs Father was a mechanic, mother was a SAHM/cleaner. DP is in IT systems earning twice what his father earns and was not supported by his parents WRT career, always being told 'ooh that's very competitive, set your sights a little lower' ridiculous as he is a very intelligent man. His 3 siblings are in management/ own their own businesses. DPs Grandfather was a Cowman.

Kladdkaka did your parents give you the support to believe that it was possible to become a lawyer.

No they didn't. I get that from my husband, which is why I'm doing now, at 40, rather than at 18.

kladdkaka

Good for you

My parents had no influence on my career except to not support me in anyway... I got told it was a stupid choice, I'd never complete the 7yrs training and I self funded throughout. Of course they think it's great now I have a good job but still completely ignore any professional advice I give them

Holylenten

I'm thinking about how many film stars have children who enter the business too. I've lost count of the amount of times I realise that yet another star is actually the son or daughter of another.

My dad was an unemployed alcoholic, my mother a cleaner. My sister's a solicitor and my brother an insurance broker.

wonkylegs
That's fantastic that you did that.