AIBU: I don't want my cleaner to bring her child to work

[wouldwelcomeadvice]

The cleaner has brought her child (age 6) into the country in the last few days and she is not yet registered at a school. She has brought her to work, in my house, today without asking me first. The child has been coughing away. I have three children and I don't need them getting ill. The child is well behaved and has just fallen asleep on the couch. AIBU. I just don't want any more bodies in my house.

Beat me to it backforgood! There are two separate issues here

As long as the child is well behaved and does not demand the Mother's attention while she is there, I think it is OK in the short term. She certainly should have asked you though before bringing anyone else into the house.

It's either give a bit of slack if she's good or use a proper cleaning service (which would cost you far more).

I actually think that you are being unreasonable, but, i would be more worried about the childs health, is she from a TB risk area?

As for the person who thought a cleaner should use the money she gets paid from you to pay a childminder

Can you imagine having to live in a different country as your young child ?

I'm amazed at all the people who are calling you mean. Imagine if you turned up for a shift in a shop or office with your child in tow! And people saying cleaners are on low wages and can't afford childcare.....well aren't lots of people on minimum wage and having to pay it?

I think it was horribly rude of her to bring another person to your home without the manners to ask you. And seeing as you don't feel she is doing a good job anyway I would give notice. Otherwise will she bring the child along to work when the child is off school for inservice days, illness or holidays.

'Imagine if you turned up for a shift in a shop or office with your child in tow!' I'll be doing that tonight. My boss copes with it because I am reliable and it's easier to cope with me having my kids sitting quietly in the waiting area waiting for their Dad than to advertise for and retrain new staff, who might end up letting him down anyway.

My cleaner always used to bring her dc during holidays without asking me. They would take control of the tv and it pissed me off to be honest. It's more the not asking as I would have said yes gladly if she had the manners to ask.
I think actually YANBU to be annoyed but I would suck it up.
The person who raised the TB question does have a valid point however.

Blimey - people are being a bit unfair to the OP

Her cleaner's domestic set up is nothing to do with her - yes, of course it must be horrible that the cleaner has been living apart from her child - but that's absolutely fuck all to do with the employer.

If i were an employer i would hope i would accomodate my staff with regards to bringing children into the work place if it were possibe, i used to work in a vets and if my DD had an inset day or had to be off school she would very often come into work with me, there wasn't a problem.

have a heart! but only for short term till she starts school

I get why its annoying, but lets face it its a cash in hand minimum wage job

If you're not happy with your cleaner's work, then I think it is reasonable to tell her exactly how you would like it done and give her a chance to shape up. If you're still not happy then you can fire hewr. As for the child, yes, she should has asked but it's not a major crime. Tell her if she has to bring the child with her again to please ask you first.

Actually,most cleaners are on a good deal more than the minimum wage. I pay mine £12 an hour.

She certainly should have asked you first.

But I'd prefer my cleaner to clean my house and not cancel due to lack of childcare, so would swallow it, reluctantly. But it would annoy me that she didn?t have the courtesy to ask me.

However, if my cleaner had asked me, I would be fine with it; I can sympathise with her situation, her life sounds a lot more difficult than mine and my empathetic nature would kick in!

I think you are being harsh too, OP.

I'd have a heart on this one - it's really not a big deal.

I think she should have asked first. As a one off I would probably just "let it go" but would make it clear that it was just a one off from my perspective.

I am thinking that if the tables were turned and I took my DS to a cleaning job, then he would probably make even more mess!!

I did self employed cleaning for a couple of years after being made redundant and sometimes took my DD with me but this was by agreement when I was taken on. However I don't think it's hugely unusual, maybe she sees this as the norm? Doesn't mean you have to put up with it if you are willing to replace her.

Re. the not getting the cleaning done the way you want I'd deal with that first, give your cleaner specific examples, (politely for preference). I would ask my customers to tell me if there was anything they wanted doing specifically and to say if I missed anything, I don't know how much time she has and how bigger house we are talking about but if she is having to prioritise is she prioritising the wrong things? For example some of my customers were especially fussy about windows but honestly weren't as fussed about dust. Also if you are not giving regular directions she might begin prioritising the jobs she likes (know a cleaner who does this, not me!) .

Whether she is or isn't, unless you think it will be easy to find another cleaner, I'd approach it in that way first, then start playing hard ball if things don't improve.

Cleaners may be on more than minimum wage for each hour but they often have only a small number of hours and this can be quite variable week to week due to holidays etc.

It is hard to get childcare for the odd hour here or there so paid childcare is not much of an option.

Not everyone has a network of friends and relatives to provide free childcare.

Yabu in fact vu you even say the child was well behaved !

Maybe she didnt ask because she was scared you would say no?

Not very grown up but perhaps she is desperate.

If I had been seperated from my child for a long period and had just been reunited I would want to take time off work to spend lots of time with them.

I am sure the fact your cleaner didnt do this is not because she didnt want to. She either cant afford it or/and didnt want to let you down.

Despite not being able to afford a cleaner I am NOT a basher of women who do have them. TBH I am pretty at your attitude.

From the basis of this thread alone you are really not coming across very well.

i don't see a problem with bringing a school-age child who wouldn't need to be actively parented while the cleaner is working.
it would have been better form for her to discuss this with you first though.

That is exactly the point pullupapew there are not many cleaners who would get more than three or four hours a day in, and then the time in between jobs makes childcare too expensive.

Whether she is good enough is up to you OP, how much do you pay her - a fair wage i hope.

What has the child 'coughing away' got to do with it, or are you implying that she's got some forrin disease?

She ought to have asked first, but perhaps she was worried about your response and thought if she just turned up with the child you couldn't turn them away. Not ideal, but understandable.

YABU.

Are you in the UK OP?