To feel like the only person in the world who's totally FRIENDLESS?

[MakingANewStart]

Can't understand how it happened and hate it that it has but I am TOTALLY friendless (apart from DH and I drive him nuts going on about it). I feel like I must to abnormal and weird but I'm not. I look the same as any other mother of 4 (knackered and a bit stressed) and looking at me nobody would ever realise my dirty little secret (friendless weirdo!). It really pains me as I deserve someone to have a laugh and moan with. I am actually a very nice, empathetic, interesting person and would love to help others/get involved with other people.

I had friends through school and in early adulthood but I moved around a lot and when I had my first DC, moved somewhere totally new and due to PND, did not mix much (went to toddler groups but never really interacted with others) then went back to work. We have moved since quite a few times and have been in our current area for 7 years and I still have not made any friends, acquaintances yes. I do not have contact with my family as they are twunts and responsible for my self esteem issues (black sheep/scapegoat).

I know I look quite unapproachable at times (have been told) and that may put people off but surely not everyone! The DCs have friends but I feel they suffer from not seeing me in social environments and the fact we never have any other adults around. My worst nightmare would be that they are like me!

DH works long hours and is close to work colleagues and family members although rarely in a social way and is not bothered for himself but feels for me.

We are living in reduced circumstances at the moment and I am quite embarassed about where we live which just compounds the issue as I would not invite anyone for a coffee or dinner.

Is it just me then? EVERYONE seems to have SOMEONE, even if they piss them off. I farking hate it and would do anything to change it! It would be my greatest regret in life to remain lonely for the rest of it. What can I do??

I don't trust people. I used to be very trusting, and I used to get dumped on a lot. I was a magnet for users, life is a lot simpler now there's no opportunity for them to invade my life.

I've got a friend who everyone wants to be friends with. She knows everyone and is always surrounded by people. You have to book to see her months in advance, so popular she is.

She isn't more interesting, or witty, or attractive or intelligent than anyone else, she just has a really sunny smiley disposition - she's always smiling, mouthing 'hi' and waving frantically across the room when she spots someone, very kissy and tactile with people she knows well, always asks questions about how you are etc. Mainly she just smiles. She'll walk into a toddler group with an open smile on her face and people just gravitate towards her.

I'm lucky that I've got a good number of friends (although no 'best' friend) but I'm shortly going to be leaving them all behind when I relocate 200 miles away and know no-one. Having studied her behavoir and seen how it draws people in to her, I'm going to make my face more open and smiley and animated - fake it to make it!

I have few friends, due to moving away, best friends at University moving home miles away and so on. I have actually lost a couple of friends since having my children, and very obviously so.

I for one would love a MN meetup but there aren't any near me. In fact, I've never seen anyone mention where I live on here.

I had this very conversation with my neighbour. She says she has no friends. Then a few minutes later she said that the mums at school/cubs/ww/church are all v cliquey so she has decided that her strategy is to be friendly with everyone but not align herself to anyone. And that, I think, is her problem. She also gives very little information about herself because she thinks it might be boring to talk about herself. Theyve moved around a lot too and she says she always majes a clean break when they go. She comes off as excessively private and standoffish when really she's desperate for friends. I feel for her. She's a lovely person but her friendlessness is entirely of her own making.