to complain about Londoners?

[NearlyMrsCustardsHardHat]

I have just gone from brixton to Liverpool street in tears and with a very heavy limp. I am in agony right now and not one person has stopped to ask if im ok.

Considering the time (midnight) if you saw a woman limping through the tube network in tears would you stop her and ask if she's ok? Or aibu to think someone might have helped me?

disclaimer: i met people at both ends of the journey so am home fine just pissed off at how people will just walk past someone in such obvious difficulty. Aibu to be disgusted by it?

Ha ha ha ha ha love it. Ok mnetter londoners aren't coz they're too fabulous.

Anyway why are you sorry? You didn't make my pain. Or did you...

MrsTP you should come over to the Canada thread - there aren't very many of us yet, but you'd be very welcome.

NearlyMrsCustard I hope you are feeling better soon, sounds like you have every right to feel grumpy.

Where is the Canada thread? Excited much?

I'm sorry about the pain because it's a total bastard.

Haven't read the whole thread but our family went to London on a short break in October. We had a buggy with us, and also my FIL. We were amazed at the amount of people who stopped at very busy tube stations, including guys with what looked like expensive business suits on, to offer to help up and down stairs with the buggy. FIL almost always got a seat given up for him. My older DD had a birthday whilst there and wore a big birthday badge. We were blown away by the number of people who stopped to wish her happy birthday. So we love Londoners!

OP I hope you feel better this morning. As someone else said its all about the timing. I would have asked if you were ok if I'd seen you crying on the tube (at that time of night extremely warily as in my experience lone women can be just as scary as lone men) but it's a totally different demographic travelling at that time of night and I'm not surprised no one approached you, for all the reasons everyone mentioned. If you'd done that journey during the day not at rush hour, I bet you'd have been surprised at how different it would have been. In fact, the tube + rush hour seems to bring out the worst in people (I really feel for anyone pg and trying to commute in London).

But I actually think London is one of the friendliest cities I have ever been to/lived in. The number of random acts of kindness I have been given or witnessed is astounding. But then again these days I usually only travel in London by bus during the day and I think people are much friendlier then

Did it dawn on you at any point to ASK someone for help? Or were you too busy being up yourself affronted to think of that?

IME Londoners are much the same as any other group of people but I'm guessing that you're from somewhere up North where it is habitual to assume that Southerners are a different breed.

People are people. Remove the word 'Londoners' from your post and insert 'blacks', 'men', 'single mothers', 'penguins'. And see what a stupid, rude statement you have made.

Sorry but I have frequently had seats given to meon the tube, and had offers of help. Just as often in London as in any other big city, or the middle of the countryside.
A lot of people in London don't come from London, a lot aware from overseas. A lot are fairly new and so feel nervous. Others are in groups and so don't notice people around them. Others are extremely tired so operating on auto-pilot.

I would also like to know where this mythical place where you think you would have got more help is.

If I have been crying in public, I don't want people to comment on it, and would be likely to be cross if they did. That is why other people would have given you the privacy of the city and not intruded.

If I want help I would ask.

I was often (not always, but often) helped & given a seat when I was pregnant. People are often (in fact always) lovely with my very heavy double pushchair.

IME the majority are very genuinely helpful & considerate.

But I agree with the points about midnight in Brixton. I'm afraid at that time of night people would have made assumptions about why you were limping & crying e.g. Party shoes and too much gin. Or fell off a bar stool and all your mates pointed and laughed.

They were wrong but so were you to dismiss a whole city as cunts. Millions of us would have loved to help but were safely tucked up in bed by that time.

Hope you're feeling better soon

Maybe you looked angry and aggressive rather than in pain and frightened ?
Most of us Londoners are decent and kind.
But if someone looks angry we stay well clear!

You see,living here for a zillion years ,one thing i have learned about London,NEVER EVER get involved in other people business. Even me,sometimes i see people in distress or crying ,but from experience ,i learned to mind my own business. On one occasion ,older woman (maybe 70yrs) was realy straggling to pull her bag on the wheels out from the bus,i asked her politely (more then 5 ppl were standing and no one offered help) if i can help-she literaly screamed at me to mind my own f.....g business and she kept having a go at me .
Another time,i was walking through the park,lady-young-was sobbing while sitting on the bench. i did approach her and asked her if she was ok,man came from nowhere ,called me a b....h and started shouting.....
so ,no i,now i wouldn't blink on someone crying,limping or in any similar distress. I don't want to expose myself to possibility of unnecessary verbal abuse...
So YABU to expect ppl to stop or to call ppl CUNTS.....

I would help someone if they asked (or were very obviously in need), and would offer my seat to someone who looked like they needed it. Otherwise I tend to mind my own business.

I wouldn't bother someone who was crying - if it was me (and it has been me!) I'd appreciate being left alone and grateful for people pretending they didn't notice. As for limping, well you often see people with disabilities, people with foot in plaster on crutches etc, I assume they don't all want to be constantly bothered by people asking if they're 'OK' - though if they were struggling up the stairs with a suitcase or something I would offer a hand.

What kind of help exactly were you hoping people would provide for you, OP?

If you do need assistance to get around the Tube network, actually, the best thing would be to speak to the staff and explain your particular needs. That would be better than expecting people to intuitively know what you need.

Poor you, I doubt that'd have happened anywhere else in Britain.

What absolute rubbish.

(not a Londoner, BTW)

i live in a small town in scotland and if i was there i might ask someone in the state you've described yourself as being if she was ok, even at midnight on a friday. if i was getting the last train home from glasgow then i probably wouldn't unless she asked for help.

the worst public transport hassle i've ever had was from a woman on the paris underground so i'm afraid that i don't agree with the "vulnerable woman" bit and also think it's disingenuous to compare a weeping, limping woman with a large, angry man - surely the equivalent would be a weeping, limping man?

Privacy comes first on the tube, well as much as it can in a small space with strangers. It's easy to see why it's not particularly pleasant and much easier to deal with if you just zone out.

It's not realistic to think that people should ask you if you need help due to a limp. What about someone who permanently has a limp, they would be bombarded. Nor is it due to being a lone female should that apply to all lone females on the tube and then the crying - people probably were not paying attention or looking closely. Again you'll get privacy unless distressed and in need of help.

People in London are mostly decent so yabu.

Also you do need to take responsibility.

I've had loads of help with prams etc. You just need to find the right groove to see and receive the kindness. Takes time.

Having lived in London for 12 years, I really don't think Londoners are all that bad. It's a big city and a lot of the time people deal with the stress of commuting by blocking out their surrounds. People are generally very nice. I would be surprised if you were ignored during the day. Perhaps it was because of the time that people are less likely to approach you. Hope you are resting now on couch with cup of tea instead.

YABU to call Londoners "cunts". It's pronounced "cant" in Landan and is usually preceded by "facking."

I am a Londoner and I'm a cunt so YANBU

Hey just kiddin' - looks it's rubbish. I and other Londoners are just as helpful and kind as others. I see people helping out and giving seats up on tube. I would have 100% asked you if you were ok - I often do if someone even looks upset! . It was just one journey and a selection of people.

So you really really are being silly and unreasonable.

YABVU of course!

Time of night I think is probably why you were not approached by anyone, but as others have asked why didnt you ask for help? and what exactly did you want anyone to do ?

What help would you have liked? Iwouldn't have been able to carry you anywhere so don't know what help I could have given.

the wonderful thing is thAt londoners are so cosmopolitan so the people not helping you would no doubt have come from all. Over the world!

Good point!

I get so pissed off with incomers slagging off my town, yet they are part of it arent they? why is it assumed that its the Londoners that are the cunts?

Ive met cunts from all over.