to think that "the lady will tell you off" is the indubitably wrost reason ever to give a child?

[ChaosTrulyReigns71]

When asking them to stop doing something.

It makes no friffing sense at all, whatsoever, and yust seems a complete and utetr cop-out and lazy rather than actually explaining why the behaviour was wrong.

Pass the wine please.

Oh AiBU?

Introducing other people into the mix smacks of someone grappling around for some authority over their DC to me.

My nan does this all the time to my dd's "there's the lady, look, she'll put you out (of) the shop" It really grates on me. Always when within hearing distance of said lady too, so she must feel rotten.

Yes i agree, i also hate this. It totally removes responsibility from the parent and also fosters a 'stop doing something naughty if someone in authority is around but you can do it if you don't get seen' mentality.

It is so a parent can not look like the bad guy. My mum used to say a policeman might tell me off!

My mil says this to my ds.

It is a cop out and I get fed up with hearing it in my shop. As soon as a parent says 'don't touch anything' I know I need to keep my eyes peeled and offer the parent the odd glare, I would never, in a million years, tell their child off.

People do this to me at work. My response is usually to smile at the child and talk to them. Naughty me

What about "The police will get you"

or "the bad man will come"

How about "stop being a shit, thats naughty because I say so. Its dangerous/naughty/stupid because... "

I particularly hate the police will come for you.... or the naughty girls hone :(

Oh gosh yes, the policemen shite too.

FFS.

Surely the reason not to do something is because the behaviour is wrong and not because you will be told off.

When i was teaching parents would look to me to discipline their children. They would come on parents evening and say things like 'i've told him you will tell him off if he doesn't eat his dinner'. I looked back with a face trying to convey 'surely your authority trumps mine'.

I hate this. Especially hated it when I worked in a shop and people said it to their DC- making me the lady.
As if I would ever tells some one else s child off at work! I'm sure there would have been a lot of cats bum faces if I ever did!

I would always say to the child, "I wouldnt dare tell you off sweetheart" and then smile sweetly at the parent!

xMIL does this to DS all the time and it drives me absolutely nuts. On the occasions that parents (random strangers) have told their children that I am going to tell them off, I will say "No, I won't".

I have said it once or twice if someone has been giving my children cats bum faces over something I dont actually consider to be that bad. E.g. Child in a toy shop picking up a toy.

I always remember waking around tesco in west kensington. Small child tantrumming in trolley. Mum pushes child past security guard and says to child in pseudo-whisper: "if you don't behave THAT MAN will get you whilst you're SLEEPING".

Security guard looked beyond astonished. I felt awful for him and the little boy

Can you explain your reasoning behind that AberdeenAgnes?

I'm guilty of letting DS think that tannoy announcements are to warn children to behave.
And the 'space here' green pointy fingers at Asda are to point at people who are not behaving.

I do have authority, I just like having some loud faceless backup every now and then

Not that I'm in any position to judge, but I once heard a woman say to her son " look that mister's watching you, he'll hit you with his (walking) stick"
That was a bit weird (and scary!)

No thanks chaos. Not in the mood for a mauling tonight, if it's all the same to you

Top marks for the faux friendly smiley though

Sokay, I'm quite practised.

I dont know what the problem is with it to be honest. Sometimes there are occasions when things are not permitted which I don't necessarily agree with. I tell DS not to do them, and explain why as best I can. But if it's a rule that doesn't make a great deal of sense he questions it. I often end up saying that if he won't obey the rule he will get told off by the people who work there. Obviously I tell him not to and issue my own mummy-based threats first, but I don't see the harm in telling kids the truth which is that a third party might well come and tell them off too.

Yanbu! My friend tells her DD 'dont do that or the man will come and get you. Look here he's coming now to take you away' every time we're out in public and her DD does anything other than sitting perfectly still. She would also be the first to kick off if anyone actually told her DD off.

Oh, and it wasn't faux, I'm not loike that.

[troof]

I told DH of for saying this to DD earlier!

Oooh, that's nasty Mimsy.

Is it similar to the threat of the bogeyman getting you in the past?

And I remember a thread about a poor mum who didn't feel she had any authority over her children and used to use the dad as a threat, even calling him up to ask what to do/tell them off. I did feel for her.

*off

Having said all this, when I interrupted the football my dad would point out the oxfam adverts and say "see that? Well if you carry on I'm sending you to Africa!".
It was that or he'd drive me past the traveller site and tell me that gypsies only stole naughty children.
So in comparison shop assistant threats aren't that bad are they?