to want to take DC's to FIL's Funeral?

[CalmerChameleon]

DH has asked me to ask you lot for your opinion on this: Sadly, FIL passed away last week, his funeral is next week. We had planned to take our 3 DCs: 19 months, 4 & 5yrs, to his funeral. One of my earliest memories is of my parents leaving me behind when they went to the funeral of a beloved cousin.

My SIL, with older kids, is very shocked that we were planning to take ours. There are 5 other cousins, all older and all going. I feel strongly that family is family, and a little noise from small people is part of the 'rich tapestry of life' (DH's words).

Also, I don't think that we do kids any favours by shielding them from the only certainty in life, and that's death. But now we are questioning how fair it is on them to take them along.

Any experiences / opinions to share, please?

Sorry for your loss.

We took our 4 year old, 3 year old and baby to my gran-in-law's funeral. Mainly because there was no-one else to mind them, they were all at the service.

I took a football and a picnic and slipped out whilst the service was on and had a great time with the kids outside, out of ear shot.

It worked because, as others have said, having wee kids to watch mucking around can help afterwards. The kids had a sense of saying "bye" to Great-Gran and having joined in her "funeral-party" - and didn't fart or gurn and spoil the service for the other mourners.

Wish you well with whatever decision you make
x

i would definitely take them.

personally i found it more distressing being shielded from the harsh realities than the actual reality itself when i was a child. it was always worse in my imagination.

Um, ApocalypseThen: Agenda? Perverse? Have you not been paying attention?

Babs, good point about the coffin descending. Just 7 of us will be at the crematorium, I hadn't planned to take the children to that bit. All the remembrance of him will be done at the funeral, and the crematorium bit I think would be too much for them.