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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was I being unreasonable, RE: inappropriate behaviour in toddlers play park?

126 replies

newcommer · 13/04/2012 20:10

I took my dd (2y) to the local toddler park today, when we arrived there was a teenage couple sat on the bench, girl straddled on bf lap, still fully clothed thankfully. After a few minutes it was obvious they weren't planning to leave, so I asked if they would please go somewhere else where they wouldn't be in full view of young children, which was met with ' why should we, we ain't doing nothing', which I responded with, ' well you're in a toddler play park, you haven't got any children with you, so can you go and do nothing somewhere else!' they then left.

I haven't got a problem with anyone showing public displays of affection, and had they been seated out in the open somewhere that's fine because you can always just look the other way as you walk by. Now, we could have always just found somewhere else to play, but I don't see why my dd should miss out when she had alot more right to be there than they did!!

So was I being unreasonable to ask them to leave? And what would you have done?

OP posts:

akaemmafrost · 13/04/2012 20:12

YANBU.

However where I live I wouldn't have said anything unless I had back up with me. I would probably just have left with my dc tbh.

Flisspaps · 13/04/2012 20:12

Were they 'up to' anything, or were they just sitting on the bench chatting with her sitting astride him?

If they were clearly having a grope and a snog then I'd have said something, if they were just sitting there chatting then I'd have left them to it.

scurryfunge · 13/04/2012 20:13

What were you worried about?

AgentZigzag · 13/04/2012 20:14

YABU, they were right and weren't 'doin' nuffink' wrong.

You can't shield your DC from everything and your DD probably didn't notice anything anyway.

But you've got balls to go over and have the cheek to ask them to leave, I'll give you that

Jayfer · 13/04/2012 20:15

I probably be more miffed at them taking up the bench to be honest. I probably would of said 'budge up' and plonked my large bum next to them.

AlbertoFrog · 13/04/2012 20:17

You should have got all the little children from the play area to sit down, cross legged, facing them.

Don't you just love the way kids stare unashamedly?

That would have shifted them

GrahamTribe · 13/04/2012 20:18

Agent. From time to time I wonder how the hell some posters managed to conceive their children, such is the amount of time they spend eye-shielding.

leftmysociallifeatthedoor · 13/04/2012 20:18

What flisspaps said though I'd have been to chicken to say anything

curiositykitten · 13/04/2012 20:19

I'd have been miffed too, but I'm completely passive aggressive so would have stared/tutted/huffed at them rather than asking them to move

There were a couple of teenagers doing the same outside DCs school the other week too, full-on snogging and groping. Wanted to tell them to get a fucking room!

ragged · 13/04/2012 20:21

I would ask them to desist inappropriate behaviour, not ask them to leave, iyswim. But really don't think ywu.

Original poster

newcommer · 13/04/2012 20:21

I wasn't worried really, and I know I can't shield everything from DD but I just think it's unfair that they should choose to be there, when they have 100s of other benches they could have sat on that wasn't in a childrens play area. Saying that I'm surprised they didn't want to leave when my DD was stood in front of them pointing!

OP posts:

TattyDevine · 13/04/2012 20:21

I got told off by an old war guy for dry humping heavy petting under a memorial tree with my toy boy younger lover when I was 19. But we still fecked off and did "nothing" elsewhere so YANBU

RedHelenB · 13/04/2012 20:22

I would have just sat down next to them lol!!! Bet they'd have moved pretty sharpish!

AgentZigzag · 13/04/2012 20:22

Graham

I don't like loud swearing round small children who don't know the words (and are likely to repeat them loudly in a quiet supermarket), mostly because I swear like a trooper myself and try hard not to don't swear round mine. So if they're saying it it'd look like a parenting fail on my part

So a bit of a snog between a couple of teenagers is better than a screaming sweary row, and pretty harmless.

Sarcalogos · 13/04/2012 20:23

Girl sits on boys lap shocker?

at the risk of sounding rude, would you like to borrow my grip?

Seriously, they were sitting on each other and chatting in a park... Isn't that what teens do?

What were you offended by?

sooperdooper · 13/04/2012 20:23

In the grand scheme of things I don't think they were doing any harm at all, they're probabaly laughing about you now!

LapOfTheGods · 13/04/2012 20:24

YANBU, annoys me that kids hang out in toddler play areas...

vigglewiggle · 13/04/2012 20:26

What were they doing though? Heavy petting, or just sitting there. If the former - good on you. If the latter, I can't see the problem and YABU.

redyam · 13/04/2012 20:27

Yeah, wouldn't want toddlers thinking that sitting on people laps was perfectly fine. I mean, toddlers never do that do they?

Ripeberry · 13/04/2012 20:28

The op sounds like a prude My god! What if it had been two men or two women sitting on each others laps. Would you have called the police?

Original poster

newcommer · 13/04/2012 20:29

I'm not offended, just annoyed that they chose somewhere that specificially young children go to play, like I said, if they were anywhere else I wouldn't bat an eyelid.

OP posts:

Original poster

newcommer · 13/04/2012 20:30

could have been six men or women having a full on orgy for all I care, but not in a childs park

OP posts:

BoffinMum · 13/04/2012 20:30

I think I would have been another one who sat right next to them and then started doing something they might not like, eg breastfeeding, adjusting pants, clearing out nose or whatever, as that works well in asserting that it is really an adult space where people go to enjoy toddlers playing in the sunshine so we don't have to proactively entertain them so much (mwa hahahaha)

I did feel somewhat invaded by a bunch of 14-15 year olds in a hotel spa in Austria once - they were just ... well, noisy, and taking up too much space, and not sufficiently aware of other guests' needs, so DH and I took our clothes off, stretched out in the jacuzzi holding each others hands, legs splayed, and off they scarpered. Brilliant.

I am very mean, me.

youarenotbeingserious · 13/04/2012 20:31

We had this recently at the local swimming pool. An older couple (20's) who were eating each other kissing and groping each other and he could be seen clearly putting his hands in her bikini top. They were literally travelling around the shallow end and the kids all just kept moving out of the way.

I asked the lifeguard to stop them as rules say 'no petting'. Poor young chap having to do it!

I think I was more bothered then the children.

YANBU if they were doing kissing and groping. If they were just sitting then YABU - but I can see your point and agree with agent you've got balls.

vigglewiggle · 13/04/2012 20:33

You still haven't explained what they were doing!

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