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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was I being unreasonable, RE: inappropriate behaviour in toddlers play park?

126 replies

newcommer · 13/04/2012 20:10

I took my dd (2y) to the local toddler park today, when we arrived there was a teenage couple sat on the bench, girl straddled on bf lap, still fully clothed thankfully. After a few minutes it was obvious they weren't planning to leave, so I asked if they would please go somewhere else where they wouldn't be in full view of young children, which was met with ' why should we, we ain't doing nothing', which I responded with, ' well you're in a toddler play park, you haven't got any children with you, so can you go and do nothing somewhere else!' they then left.

I haven't got a problem with anyone showing public displays of affection, and had they been seated out in the open somewhere that's fine because you can always just look the other way as you walk by. Now, we could have always just found somewhere else to play, but I don't see why my dd should miss out when she had alot more right to be there than they did!!

So was I being unreasonable to ask them to leave? And what would you have done?

OP posts:
alienreflux · 14/04/2012 10:10

yup, sorry, think y b totally u! she was sat on his lap ffs. they had a kiss ffs.your problem seems to be 'they were not using the facilities' but they were! the bench!! they were there first, they were doing no harm, your children probably would not have batted an eyelid, or maybe had a giggle. i think you had no right to tell them to move. take a sirous chill pill, then have a Biscuit

AmberLeaf · 14/04/2012 10:10

OMG that spa looks fab.

alienreflux · 14/04/2012 10:10

serious

hathorinareddress69 · 14/04/2012 10:12

For goodness sake.

She was on his lap.

They were fully clothed.

What harm were they doing?

ledkr · 14/04/2012 10:12

I wish our teens would show the love more,they just swear a lot round here and someone has broken 2 of the 4 swings in the park and nobody has fixed them for months.It makes me a bit sad.

Re tackling them tho.When im over there with dd's and the older ones on the ramp are swearing i just shout "woah boys! No more swearing with the kids around they'll be saying it and getting me into trouble!"

They are fine with this but some adults speak to them so badly its no wonder they a rude back.

alienreflux · 14/04/2012 10:13

jesus, they weren't even kissing were they??!! just re-read your post!!
but they WERE sitting!! on a bench as well??!! Shock

hathorinareddress69 · 14/04/2012 10:16

They weren't even sitting on a swing hogging the swing and stopping the smaller children playing.

They were on a BENCH.

You know, where you're supposed to sit?

MrsKittyFane · 14/04/2012 10:46

when we arrived there was a teenage couple sat on the bench, girl straddled on bf lap yes, just sitting normally alien Hmm

bemybebe · 14/04/2012 10:52

YANBU at all
and brave

hairylemon · 14/04/2012 11:11

at the brave mummy lion fending off two teenagers who were surely going to invite you to join in their dry humping orgy Hmm

Yea, dead brave. Here, have a cats bum mouth, yours must have worn down to a nub :o*

bejeezus · 14/04/2012 11:41

I think ledkr brings an important point

There are a group of teens here that hang our in a specific area. People complain that they are rude/antisocial etc. They have never been anything less than polite to me, and have even apologised for bad language in front of my young dc. But I address them with respect in the first place. Yoofs are demonised to a certain extent by a lot of people. So are often defensive, which sometimes comes across as aggressive

thunksheadontable · 14/04/2012 11:42

I don't know if I'd even have noticed it, but given that the kids round here congregate in the playground and sit smoking and listening to music ON the roundabout I do sympathise. I've never said anything but it does annoy me. I am going to do the breastfeeding thing for sure when this dc comes along.

I have to say I'm not a fan of kids dry humping around other people though. I don't think there's anything THAT wrong with having a wee bit of respect and trying not to get too hot and heavy around people going on with their normal everyday lives.

SkinnyVanillaLatte · 14/04/2012 11:47

I have also experienced that the teenagers in the play park tend to reprimand each other if one of them forgets themselves and swears.

BoffinMum · 15/04/2012 13:04

Politeness does matter. You can't expect teens to learn to be civilised adults if people treat them like a subspecies.

bejeezus · 15/04/2012 13:12

Exactly boffin

And all that, making them feel uncomfortable/embarrass then/humiliate/intimidate them, so they'll leave; is pretty nasty IMO

What if teens used those tactics to get rid of younger children, they'd soon be called out for 'picking on littler kids'

cory · 15/04/2012 13:23

A bit mystified by this thread. Why would you feel the need to shield your toddlers from seeing a couple of teenagers kissing? Is kissing something toddlers shouldn't know about?

alienreflux · 15/04/2012 15:05

thanks mrs kitten!! yes, i read she was sitting astride him, but just SITTING!!! NOT dry humping, or i'm sure op would've posted that AND called the police, so just sitting :0

LaurieFairyCake · 15/04/2012 15:14

I kiss my husband in public occasionally, sometimes even in the park. I have also sat on his knee before.

Next time, don't look if kissing (note: NOT dry humping) offends you.

hathorinareddress69 · 15/04/2012 16:04

I kissed DP in a cafe the other week. And hugged him.

I also held his hand walking up the street.

Obviously I should have been spoken to. Hmm

SeaHouses · 15/04/2012 16:18

I think it is bizarre that there are playgrounds that are only for children under six. Isn't that really inconvenient for lots of families who have one over six and one under six? I've never seen a playground like that.

butterfingerz · 15/04/2012 17:36

Our local park (children's area) is for under 8's. You do occasionally get older kids on it but there's no need really as its surrounded by a big playing field, some secluded gardens and even a maze!

Its a quiet MC area so the teens reflect that, for example, I passed a group of hooded boys about 11/12yrs, they were arguing about 'not killing a bee'!

I used to live in a rough part of greater Manchester and you used to get teens on our local children's area when it got to about 4/5pm. But they were very polite and kind, would move to allow my toddler DD on swings etc. They're just kids at the end of day.

pigletmania · 15/04/2012 17:43

Ooh sounds like my mum. I was on the number 38 in central london when I was 13 with my mum. There was a couple kissing quite passionately in front of us, my mum marches up to them and tells them 'not to kiss in front of my daughter' , I was [ blush]

pigletmania · 15/04/2012 17:43

Meant that I was Blush

TrudiRed · 15/04/2012 17:50

It annoys me when teenagers have to sit in the kiddies play area whatever they are doing. Why on earth would they want to be there?

BoffinMum · 15/04/2012 18:53

I think it's more appropriate to reclaim the space via the completely permitted nudity, or by breastfeeding on a bench, or whatever, to remind those who are out of step with the majority view about what the space is meant to be for.

(that's not great English but do you get my drift?)

Better than telling people off overtly, and a tactic to be used with all ages.