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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I being unreasonable, RE: inappropriate behaviour in toddlers play park?

126 replies

newcommer · 13/04/2012 20:10

I took my dd (2y) to the local toddler park today, when we arrived there was a teenage couple sat on the bench, girl straddled on bf lap, still fully clothed thankfully. After a few minutes it was obvious they weren't planning to leave, so I asked if they would please go somewhere else where they wouldn't be in full view of young children, which was met with ' why should we, we ain't doing nothing', which I responded with, ' well you're in a toddler play park, you haven't got any children with you, so can you go and do nothing somewhere else!' they then left.

I haven't got a problem with anyone showing public displays of affection, and had they been seated out in the open somewhere that's fine because you can always just look the other way as you walk by. Now, we could have always just found somewhere else to play, but I don't see why my dd should miss out when she had alot more right to be there than they did!!

So was I being unreasonable to ask them to leave? And what would you have done?

OP posts:
youarenotbeingserious · 13/04/2012 20:33

Boffin Grin

missmapp · 13/04/2012 20:34

In the school holidays there are often teenagers hanging around our local park, when i first see them I feel annoyed and want to tell them to move, but then I think, where else can they go ? When my dcs are teenagers, how would I feel if they were sitting in the park and somebody moaned at them, so I never say anything.

SkinnyVanillaLatte · 13/04/2012 20:35

I wouldn't worry at that but would keep an eye in case there was any inappropriate behaviour.
I usually find being pleasant, and appealing to their sense of right and wrong has results,if there is inappropriate behaviour.
I firmly believe the vast majority of teenagers are good kids and wouldn't want to do anything considered wrong in front of a small child.Just a gentle cheerful reminder is all that is needed in most cases.
I remember being a teenager - the world revolved around me and my mates,and it didn't cross my mind to consider how my actions affected others as I was so wrapped up in myself.But I certainly didn't mean to cause any harm or upset!

AgentZigzag · 13/04/2012 20:37

Agree with Skinny, and with youarenot snorting at Boffin Grin

DamselInDisarray · 13/04/2012 20:37

But if they were just sitting on the bench, they weren't preventing your daughter from playing. If they'd been shagging on the climbing frame, it'd be different, but I don't see what the problem with them sitting on the bench is.

Sunscorch · 13/04/2012 20:37

Do you actually know that they had no toddler with them?
Or did you just assume that?

Original poster
newcommer · 13/04/2012 20:38

they were kissing, not groping, well at least not after we had arrived anyway. Wouldn't have really bothered me so much if the play area was a decent size, but it really was tiny so not much chance of us avoiding them.

OP posts:
thegreylady · 13/04/2012 20:41

I went to our toddler playground with dgs[aged 3] today and all the swings were taken by teenagers sitting smoking [about 15yo all girls].There is a playground for older dc ouside the toddler area and lots of seats around the park.After a few minutes I went a bit teachery and said,'Excuse me ladies but could you let this little boy have a go on a swing please?'Fortunately they wandered off quite happily.I wasn't happy about the cigarettes but they took them with them and left no ends.

vigglewiggle · 13/04/2012 20:41

Then I think YABU and a bit of a prude. I can't think toddlers would even notice and if they did I don't see what harm it would have done.

Having said that, I'm not sure why they would have chosen to have a snog in such a location, but that's teenagers for you!

Original poster
newcommer · 13/04/2012 20:42

if they did have a toddler with them, they were very well hidden.

OP posts:
pictish · 13/04/2012 20:46

Bleugh...I never feel comfortable in such close proximity of the swapping of spittle. I can do without seeing it, and I certainly don't want to hear it! Ugh!

Sunscorch · 13/04/2012 20:47

if they did have a toddler with them, they were very well hidden.

So I assume that yours was the only toddler in the whole park? Or perhaps all the other children were attached to their adult?

It's just silliness, really, isn't it?

Original poster
newcommer · 13/04/2012 20:48

I don't think I am a prude, I've seen alot more racy behaviour than that in public and it doesn't bother me in the slightest, but I don't think a tiny play area is the right place for it when theres plenty of other places that they could go.

OP posts:
vigglewiggle · 13/04/2012 20:51

But what harm could they do - apart from dampening their ardour?

oopsi · 13/04/2012 20:53

roughly how old were they? 13 ,15, 19?
and I'm nor sure what a toddler play park is ? Do you mean a playground?

Original poster
newcommer · 13/04/2012 20:57

about 15, 16ish. Toddler play park - play area for 6yrs and under.

OP posts:
vigglewiggle · 13/04/2012 21:05

And the potential harm?

wellilikemythinking · 13/04/2012 21:06

Oh to be young and in lust again Grin my 7 yr dd would of put them off, she always exclaims loudly 'Urgh..mam look at what those teenagers are doing who wants to see that!'

Original poster
newcommer · 13/04/2012 21:16

No major harm caused, just a 2yr old using their small vocabulary to explain to all and sundry what the boy and girl were doing in the park today, which I guess will be amusing.

OP posts:
Hoebag · 13/04/2012 23:38

You sound very entitled , they were not shagging they were sitting on a bench, would you have said the same to an adult couple?

Why do you think you have the right to ask someone to leave a public place, who I am assuming were there before you?

what message do you imagine that sends to your kids.

WorraLiberty · 13/04/2012 23:46

No major harm caused, just a 2yr old using their small vocabulary to explain to all and sundry what the boy and girl were doing in the park today, which I guess will be amusing

Errrrm....kissing.

justaboutisnowakiwi · 13/04/2012 23:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
newcommer · 13/04/2012 23:52

Yes I would have said the same to an adult couple, they were there before us, but since they weren't really using the facilities what reason did they have for being there! I would hope that I am sending the message to my children that when they are a few years older they should consider how their actions may affect others!! If the couple had been in a library but spent their time snogging instead of using the facilities would no one say anything?

OP posts:
Hoebag · 13/04/2012 23:58

If you say you would say the same to an adult couple then I'll have to believe

you. I've seen alot of adults be quite nasty towards teens just because they feel like they can.

bejeezus · 13/04/2012 23:58

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