Am I? (FB yet again)

[FoofFighter]

Is it inappropriate to put the following facebook status after you had a miscarriage a few days before?

"Instead of feeling morning sickness, it's been replaced with mourning sickness"

?

I think that reaction was a bit over the top mrsdevere, the op was asking for opinions and derpette said that she'd also lost a baby, I don't think it's fair to call her a twat for having a different opinion

Thankyou maytheodds. I don't expect people to agree with me but that was uncalled for.

Derpette I agree that the response to you was a bit harsh,but I don't think 'opinion nazi' is helping matters either

Sorry rogue face there!

Yeah Derpette I think you just lost the moral high ground there.

When I lost my babies I realised very quickly that some people were actually jealous of the attention (for want of a better word) that we received from friends and family.

I think your SIL is one of those people, bitter and jealous about something so tragic.

I rarely talk about my babies on Facebook statuses but if I did and someone reacted the way your SIL has I would probably never speak to her again. My MIL badmouthing my babies is the major (but not sole) reason I no longer see or speak to her. Deleting and blocking you both and creating a drama just so she can feel the centre of attention is evil.

I truly am sorry for your loss. Express your grief however you see fit and ignore the petty nitpicking by people who don't like it. I'd say what you wrote was heartbreakingly clear and obvious.

Ah I don't mean that in a terribly serious way...

I get accused of being a 'grammar nazi' all the time, the term seems to have caught on oops'

Just because it's AIBU doesn't mean people should call the op names, she's lost a baby ffs she can say or do whatever the fuck she likes.

I lost a baby at 20 weeks last year but didn't put anything on fb until his dd as not many people knew I was pregnant anyway.

Hope your ok, have a hug from me even if it's not very aibu ish x

Ohdoadmit - I don't care who has the moral high ground. Just don't call me a twat. I admit I shouldn't have retaliated but 'twat' is vulgar and annoyed me. I don't expect that from someone double my age.

Anyway let's move on, this is pathetic.

Hi there
A reminder of our talk guidelines, all.
OP sorry to hear about this - perhaps this thread may be better out of AIBU...

YANBU. So sorry for your loss.

Telling someone who has lost a baby they are attention seeking is vulgar.

Calling you a twat doesn't realy cover it

The OP said the play on words touched a chord with her, so if it has helped her to even slightly express the pain she is feeling when she otherwise might not have found the words then she has every right to use it.

This is one quote that I have seen posted often on grief support forums and on Facebook in an effort to help people understand a tiny bit.

?A wife who loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his/her parents is called an orphan. But there is no word for a parent who loses a child, that?s how awful the loss is!? (Neugeboren)

Moomin - sorry but I didn't know that losing a baby made you a perfect person incapable of doing wrong. She posted this asking for opinions on the status, I gave mine. Like the mumsnet person said, maybe this is better out of this section if people aren't allowed to give their answers after all.

You do not expect from someone double your age?

You really are, arent you?

If someone who calls a recently bereaved mother 'attention seeking' and bandys the word Nazi about in such a flippent manner thinks I am vulgar, I must be doing something right.

I called the status attention seeking. I wasnt aware this topic was for sympathy offerings only, I'm sure there was something about opinions of a status...?

I'm deeply sympathetic with the OP, it's a horrible horrible thing to go through. That doesn't mean I agree with the status.

I don't want to cause anymore upset (for the OP I mean, you I care not for) so i'll leave that there.

Most people would have the sympathy to just offer condolence, regardless of how they felt about the status

Obviously you don't have that in you

Actually, I posted straight after reading the first post. So I didn't know until later that it was in fact the OP's status.

I do however stand by my original opinion although I would have properly put it in nicer terms. It seemed an attention seeking, flippant and almost attemptive humourous status. (although after reading the OP's comments is wasn't meant to be this way a all)

I'm not the only one to have thought this.

The end.

Derpette - yes this is AIBU but timing is everything and there is no requirement for leaving your sensitivity at the topic door. The OP lost her baby this week and no that doesn't make her perfect but it's also not the best moment to make your point about it so robustly.

no if it is how the person feels

oopps
and so sorry for your loss

Point taken and understood. I'll think about things (and read full topics) in future.

Maybe giving opinions and not telling people things they want to hear is a bad thing on here.

no no it's fine in here MNHQ - I wanted opinions.

Derpette it wasn't just out of the blue, everyone knew already. I wouldn't have broken the news of losing our precious little baby in that matter and over Fb. (but yes probably an idea to read a few posts before posting yourself in future)