Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I promised DH he could name the baby. Now I've changed my mind.

397 replies

JakeyMom · 13/04/2012 11:21

When I was pregnant with DS1 I had my heart set the name Jacob. DH hated it and used to come up with all these alternatives but I had my heart set and I promised him that if he let me call DS Jacob he would pick the next DC's name. I PROMISED.
So fast forward and I'm pregnant with DC2 and naturally DH has been considering names. He was under the illusion that we would be having a boy and had already picked out the name Adam which I was fine with. However, it turns out we're having a girl which has totally thrown DH off course.
He's now decided he wants to name DD after his GRANDMOTHER(!!!) as she brought him up. It's an AWFUL name for a child (Blanche) and I just can't bring myself to agree. The name makes me shudder, it reminds me of coronation street. I've told him I hate the name and it's disgusting for a baby but he won't budge on it and is digging his heels in. AIBU to go back on my promise for the sake of our DD?

OP posts:
ComposHat · 16/04/2012 02:17

Should have compromised on the first child's name. He hates Jacob, but his first born is called that. Now I'm afraid you'll have to suck up Blanche.

I actually prefer Blanche to Jacob in the name stakes, I don't think it is dowdy or grannified at all. Both Blanche in Streetcar and Blanche in the Golden Girls were both southern belles with insatiable appetites for men.

ComposHat · 16/04/2012 04:56

Talking of unfortunate connotations Jakeymom

Jakey, it is Scottish slang for a hardened street drinker.

So others could see your choice of name as having very negative connotations that being that your son is a steaming piss head.

oopsi · 16/04/2012 09:20

'Oopsie I'm by the suggestion that the OP calls into question whether her DH values their daughter! That's very manipulative and underhand'

maybe you're right.but would the father be acting in the child's best interest to name her something that makes the mother cringe everytime she says it or hears it (to begin with at least).

ComposHat · 16/04/2012 09:57

Equally, oopsishe clearly didn't value his opinion on the name Jacob. Was that in the child's best interest? Why does the mother's view, trump the father's? They are both parents to both of their children.

And anyway, Jacob was a merely a name she liked, he wants to call his daughter Blanche after the woman who raised him.

In an ideal world they would have put some thought into finding a name they both liked for their first child or at the very least something that he didn't actively dislike. Then this ridiculous stand off wouldn't have emerged.

Debsbear · 16/04/2012 10:03

I rather like the name Blanche! It was my grandmothers name as well, but the "old" names are making a huge comeback as you proved by calling your son Jacob. When I was a kid there were NO Jacobs around. I think you need to bow to him in this. It was your decision to name your son Jacob and ignore his reservations and then promise to allow him his choice next time. You may not like the name yourself, but I don't think she will get bullied because of her name, and i think you'll find that as time goes on you'll get used to it and come to like it yourself as it will be HER name.

Debsbear · 16/04/2012 10:05

Oh yes, and while it's fresh in your mind, make a promise that if you have a third child you will choose a name together!!

EmmaCate · 16/04/2012 10:14

Yeah I'd have a bit more sympathy with you if DH had perhaps just been indifferent about Jacob; it's a bit hard on him to have a son with a name he despises. However, there are lots of Jacobs about and very few no Blanches so from that perspective YANBU; it's going to affect the child as much as you, which couldn't be said of your name choice.

I'd perhaps sneak the Golden Girls onto the telly and see how he feels after that :o

3duracellbunnies · 16/04/2012 10:34

Dd1 is named after her grandmother, though a slightly more contemporary twist on it (which dh and I both liked), she feels special, as they didn't have the chance to meet her. Dd2 wishes she had that name too. Now (age 7), she is asking when she can change her name to be the same as grandma!

Blanche isn't great, but there will be lots of wierder names in her class. Find a derivative that you vaguely like, say he can call her Blanche, but you'll probably use x as a pet name. Next time just find one you both like.

puzzletree · 16/04/2012 12:36

How about naming her Blanche, but calling her 'B' or Bea for short?

kittyandthefontanelles · 16/04/2012 12:39

I actually think this is a windup now. The OP is nowhere to be seen

totallyskint · 16/04/2012 12:43

Of course you are being unreasonable to go back on your word, but you don't have much choice, do you, Blanche is just not acceptable.

So say sorry sorry for being mean about Jacob, wish you'd been more sensitive and please please rethink Blanche.

MagsAloof · 16/04/2012 12:47

Blanche is gopping.

Tell your DH fine, but you are having a third and it will be called Adolf (or Adoldfa if a girl).

Seriously. Blanche?

kittyandthefontanelles · 16/04/2012 13:15

Why is Blanche unacceptable but McKenzie, kayden, Kyle, Hayden, nevaeh, etc etc blah chiz are? Who are we to say anything is not acceptable?

BrieAddicted · 16/04/2012 13:19

Blanche is great! The only one I've ever known is 17, blonde, gorgeous and went to private school

MagsAloof · 16/04/2012 15:48

I know a Makenzi. Unacceptable.

kittyandthefontanelles · 16/04/2012 19:55

Here, here mags! At least Blanche is an actual name. We are talking to ourselves you know?!

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 16/04/2012 20:18

I know a Kenzo and a Jaxon and a Frisk and a Kanyon. The more I read the thread the more I like Blanche.

leftwingharpie · 16/04/2012 20:51

Let's face it the parents are as bad as each other. It was ridiculous to agree to a trade off whereby they would each potentially hate the name of one of their children. The father should have put his foot down and refused to be part of it, not snatched the opportunity to secure himself sole naming rights on the birth of the second child. They should both suck it up in silence if they can't agree to put an end to it now. Either way I don't see that the children should be affected, there is no reason for them to suspect that either parent dislikes their names.

kittyandthefontanelles · 16/04/2012 21:42

Frisk? Seriously? I despair!

NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 16/04/2012 21:51

Yes, Frisk goes to nursery with my DS. That was the name I was a bit Shock about until I had a conversation with Kanyon's mum, who told me that she named Kanyon after Kanyon West. So she's named her child after someone whose name she can neither spell nor pronounce.

Compared to that Blanche keeps looking better and better (doesn't it OP?)

Kayano · 16/04/2012 21:53

I just saw Kanyon and was about to kick off at people spelling my name wrong again Grin

Then I realised its not all about me

AwkwardMaryHadAnEasterLamb · 16/04/2012 22:48

Tell hm no. She made a mistake by telling him he could name the baby because she was hormonal when she said it.

Blanche! Like blanching vegetables in a pan!

Pennybubbly · 17/04/2012 05:43

Hmm at all the bloody rude people on here that are dissing the name Jacob when the OP has already named her son that and has not asked for anyone's opinion of the name.

Moominsarescary · 17/04/2012 06:48

Never agree to a trade off unless he picks first and you at least dont mind the name.

Nothing wrong with the name Jacob, at least it's a real name. Blanche on the other hand sounds awful.

Realy you have only yourself to blame. We had similar problems with ds3 and 4 but in the end compromised

Whatmeworry · 17/04/2012 07:23

Tell hm no. She made a mistake by telling him he could name the baby because she was hormonal when she said

Must say I'm mildly shocked at the number of people on here who think it's perfectly OK to go back on your word.