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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I promised DH he could name the baby. Now I've changed my mind.

397 replies

JakeyMom · 13/04/2012 11:21

When I was pregnant with DS1 I had my heart set the name Jacob. DH hated it and used to come up with all these alternatives but I had my heart set and I promised him that if he let me call DS Jacob he would pick the next DC's name. I PROMISED.
So fast forward and I'm pregnant with DC2 and naturally DH has been considering names. He was under the illusion that we would be having a boy and had already picked out the name Adam which I was fine with. However, it turns out we're having a girl which has totally thrown DH off course.
He's now decided he wants to name DD after his GRANDMOTHER(!!!) as she brought him up. It's an AWFUL name for a child (Blanche) and I just can't bring myself to agree. The name makes me shudder, it reminds me of coronation street. I've told him I hate the name and it's disgusting for a baby but he won't budge on it and is digging his heels in. AIBU to go back on my promise for the sake of our DD?

OP posts:
GateGipsy · 13/04/2012 19:38

I love the name Blanche, it sounds lovely. The two of you on the other hand ... why would you inflict a name on your child that your husband hated? I loved the name Jacob too, it was my favourite, but gave up on it when I saw how much hubs hated it.

One thing hubs and I did when choosing a name was shout it out in the accent of where we live (south east London), as it might be shouted out by the kid's mates. That knocked one of my favourites out of the race as soon as I did that (hubs hated it, but it did end up as a middle name).

What does Blanche sound like, if it was being shouted across the playground?

kittyandthefontanelles · 13/04/2012 19:49

Agnes means lamb as in Agnes Dei, lamb of God. Also on my list. My daughter has a toy lamb called Agnes. By the way kitty-woo was NOT me. My daughter is not called kitty.

TidyDancer · 13/04/2012 19:56

Well it's a horrible name, admittedly, and I wouldn't consider it for one of my DCs in a million years. But you were being massively unreasonable in forcing on your DH a name he hated.

I don't know what you can really do tbh. If you agree to call your DD Blanche, you may forever hate the name and resent your DH for it, but if you force your will on him a second time....well it's deeply unfair on him isn't it?

There's no good answer here.

MissBeehivingUnderTheMistletoe · 13/04/2012 20:12

I like Blanche Smile and tbh what's sauce for the goose and all that....

StellaNova · 13/04/2012 20:15

Re: Kitty-Woo, a CBeebies card is not a birth certificate so I suppose it could be a nickname?

Then again I have come across a child called Reasonable name-Bubbles - like Kitty-Bubbles, except not Kitty.

GertrudeJekyll · 13/04/2012 20:26

I like Blanche.

ABigGirlDoneItAndRanAway · 13/04/2012 20:26

It was definitely Woo not Wu, suppose it could have been a nickname but sadly I suspect a poor child is actually saddled with it.

SarahStratton · 13/04/2012 20:28

I think Blanche is a lovely name. :)

MamaMary · 13/04/2012 20:31

YABU for calling your son Jakey.

Jacob is okay. Jakey is not.

(IMO)

kittyandthefontanelles · 13/04/2012 20:35

Let's all call our next-borns Blanche and swamp the playground with tiny Blanches. Even the boys. Reclaim Blanche! My husband loves the name.

thisisyesterday · 13/04/2012 20:40

well, now you know how he felt last time don't you?

interesting how it's ok that he has to put up with a name he really dislikes, but when it's the other way round then you have to "not let him" Hmm

v. bizarre IMO.

However, are you SURE he isn't just winding you up?

MrsBovary · 13/04/2012 20:45

Blanche isn't so bad, though I don't know anything about the Coronation Street character.

mrsbugsywugsy · 13/04/2012 20:48

that would be ironic, if the OP inadvertently started a boom in baby Blanches

And indirectly, they'd all be named after her DH's grandmother Grin

kittyandthefontanelles · 13/04/2012 20:52

I honestly reckon that's going to happen! What a lovely nod to the granny

BellaOfTheBalls · 13/04/2012 20:55

Could you use any other forms of Blanche as a compromise? Blanche literally translates as white, but means purity I think. Blanca, Bianca or Alba could be suitable alternatives?

Noqontrol · 13/04/2012 20:58

Although Jacob is a nice name I wouldn't have gone with it if oh didn't like it. Naming is such an important thing and if one person really doesn't like it then it can be detrimental with bonding with the baby, especially in the early days. Oh and I agreed on a name for ds when I was 20 weeks pg. The night before ds was born oh told me he had changed his mind. I was hopping mad as I had been calling my unborn baby by this name all that time, dd also had got used to that name. Even though I was annoyed though I wouldn't have gone ahead with calling ds the name we had originally agreed, it's got to be a joint thing. We finally agreed on another name nearly 6 weeks after ds was born. It was all a bit of a mess really, but I love ds's new name now, and so does oh. Having said that, I think Blanche is quite a pretty name really, and it's quite unusual.

Chocaholics · 13/04/2012 21:00

YABU, personally think it is a really nice name. I don't understand why it was ok for to call your DS a name your DH hated, I think if one of you hated the name it is off the list. Unfortunately I really think that you are stuck with it as it is only fair. Although cant believe you went ahead and called your son a name your DH hated anyway.

JustHecate · 13/04/2012 21:09

I take it the OP ran away screaming or is now sulking because most of us don't agree with her Grin

poor thing. She's probably all hormonal and grumpy and she knows she's being totally unreasonable here

BabyDubsEverywhere · 13/04/2012 21:11

VILE name! but you are screwed in the fairness stakes.

I have no morals so I would go for tears Grin

Wake him up 'accidentally' in the middle of the night in a fit of tears, barely able to catch your breath, nightmares of the baby being called blanche, you just cant cope with the thought of naming your precious DD that name and utterly horrified that you have done this to him with your DS if you could take it back you would rah rah rah....if you do it right he will be a bit panicked at your pregnant nutter state and relent to ''lets find another name darling''

Good luck Smile

MrGin · 13/04/2012 21:16

We never considered naming dd till we actually met her...

... not that that helps you.

I don't mind Blanche at all tbh.

You promised him and he agreed you could have Jacob.

The more you protest the more he'll dig his heals in.

mayorquimby · 13/04/2012 21:19

completely unreasonable.
You acted appallingly in the first instance and you're continuing in the same vein now.

MrMiyagi · 13/04/2012 21:38

You were very unreasonable to insist on Jacob, and if you were going back on your promise now because you wanted to choose a certain name again, that would be doubly unreasonable, but to be fair to you, I'd be very uneasy about Blanche too.

kittyandthefontanelles · 13/04/2012 22:18

Just bumping Blanche. Such a lovely name it shouldn't be forgotten

aquashiv · 13/04/2012 23:38

Dear God Blanche! What kind of name is that to give a poor defenceless child?
I would enter any kind of conversation and scream at him with my hands over my ears - you are pregnant so you can get away with itSmile.
Say he can name the third.....

aquashiv · 13/04/2012 23:39

not

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