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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I promised DH he could name the baby. Now I've changed my mind.

397 replies

JakeyMom · 13/04/2012 11:21

When I was pregnant with DS1 I had my heart set the name Jacob. DH hated it and used to come up with all these alternatives but I had my heart set and I promised him that if he let me call DS Jacob he would pick the next DC's name. I PROMISED.
So fast forward and I'm pregnant with DC2 and naturally DH has been considering names. He was under the illusion that we would be having a boy and had already picked out the name Adam which I was fine with. However, it turns out we're having a girl which has totally thrown DH off course.
He's now decided he wants to name DD after his GRANDMOTHER(!!!) as she brought him up. It's an AWFUL name for a child (Blanche) and I just can't bring myself to agree. The name makes me shudder, it reminds me of coronation street. I've told him I hate the name and it's disgusting for a baby but he won't budge on it and is digging his heels in. AIBU to go back on my promise for the sake of our DD?

OP posts:
bemybebe · 14/04/2012 00:18

Yeah, say he can name the third...
not
Grin

CrumpettyTree · 14/04/2012 00:27

I suppose your Dh felt exactly the same when you insisted on Jacob as you are feeling now. I quite like the name Blanche, although wouldn't name my own child it.

CrumpettyTree · 14/04/2012 00:37

What about saying that you have decided you will go with the name Blanche, but that you will pronounce it Blon-chay as you quite like that. Might that put him off?

CrumpettyTree · 14/04/2012 00:38

Or Blayncher? Anything that sounds silly and horrible really.

CrumpettyTree · 14/04/2012 00:39

Blunkett?

SoupDragon · 14/04/2012 07:27

Or she could sit down with her DH and apologise profusely for making him accept a name for their DS which he absolutely hated and that, now it is happening to her, she realises she was a complete bitch. Then perhaps they can reach a compromise.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 14/04/2012 07:35

Soup - that's a really good suggestion :)

I have a friend who has a DD Blanche - I thought 'That's bloody horrible not to my taste' but she actually really suits the name. She's a teenager now and I can't imagine her being called anything else or why I thought it was 'horrible' in the first place!! (other than Blanche off of Corrie!!). It could be far worse Hilda/Gertrude/Fanny - I wont go on as I'll only upset another MNer I'm sure :)

Hopandaskip · 14/04/2012 07:47

We did this, DH named our first born and I said that if we ever had another it was my turn. However.... we also gave each other power of veto. I really liked Zachary but DH did not at all, so that was vetoed. It worked well for us :)

Coralanne · 14/04/2012 08:03

Are you sure he's not just "having a lend" of you. Maybe he is just enjoying your reaction and when your DD is born he will suddenly come up with another name.

theresafire · 14/04/2012 08:19

I had the same situation, if it was a girl I wanted Ruby Rose and a boy James Douglas. I had told DH he could name baby if he was a boy as he wasn't entirely sold on Ruby Rose.

Yes baby was (is) a boy and DH wanted to call him Reith (Wreath) WTF?

I dug in my heels pulling rank (since it was ME who did the pregnancy and natural birth not by choice with no epidural!)

DH was relatively well placated by the facted that I really not wanted to use his name (Brian) as baby's middle name.

Problem solved, all happy, good luck OP.

theresafire · 14/04/2012 08:21

fact

So I lost Douglas but still got James.

theresafire · 14/04/2012 08:31

My mum and I decided we might add Clancy to his name as well after meeting a lovely boy of that name. DS is 18mo, DH didn't seem too concerned by the prospect. I'm over that now though.

DC1, DD was called Amy Lee for three days and mum and I changed while DH was at church to something that suited her much more. Poor DH, he took it very well. It was his great grandmothers name (exotic) and we used his (late)
father's name for another DC2. So he may not have hand picked the name but each DC has been named after a family member of his and has his surname.

OP can you trawl through all the other womens name in his family history, there's a good chance of finding something you like history can go back a fair way .

sunnydelight · 14/04/2012 08:40

Agree to Blanche, insert a middle name that you want then just use her middle name. Very common in cultures where first names are traditionally family names. Sorted!

leftwingharpie · 14/04/2012 08:45

YABU for all the reasons mentioned, plus for making out that it is for the sake of your DD, when clearly it is all about you. Blanche is a perfectly normal, if slightly unusual, name and I'm sure your DD will carry it off with no trouble.

By the way I love the idea of lots of little Blanches all indirectly named after OP's DH - genius observation! Grin

QuickLookBusy · 14/04/2012 08:56

I do think yabu but I think if you really really hate the name there should be some compromise.

Anyway I would wait until you are in labour and start discussing it, he'd have to be made of stone to disagree with you thenWink

Whateveryousaymustberight · 14/04/2012 09:14

I like Blanche - sounds like a southern belle. Very Gone with the Wind. I don't watch Corrie though.

kittyandthefontanelles · 14/04/2012 10:23

QLB- Nooo! Her poor husband truly hated the name Jacob but she didn't care and just ploughed on with it. People shouldn't be giving her ways out. She should've respected her husband in the first place. I honestly can't believe she didn't. Now it is indisputably his turn. Blanche all the way. It's about naming the child after the woman who brought him up, not some random historic female relation.

IAmBooyhoo · 14/04/2012 11:12

where the hell is OP?

namechanging perhaps? Wink Grin

mrsbugsywugsy · 14/04/2012 11:14

Sorry but I doubt that your DH is joking with you, as he had picked a perfectly nice name for a baby boy (Adam).

Please please please can we have an update if anyone does actually name their baby Blanche inspired by this thread?

anonacfr · 14/04/2012 11:32

It's rather insensitive of the OP to trash the name of the person who brought up her DH.

It's a nice name too. And she made a deal.

No doubt she was thinking that he would in time get over Jacob and allow her to have her way again.

YABVU. I guess as a compromise you could suggest some other names but as agreed he should have veto and final say.

kittyandthefontanelles · 14/04/2012 11:33

I've just blanched some purple sprouting calabrese. Does that count?

anonacfr · 14/04/2012 11:34

Btw OP you wouldn't be going back on your promise 'for the sake of your DD' you just don't like the name.

Just like your DH didn't like Jacob and offered alternatives that you ignored.

Whatmeworry · 14/04/2012 12:20

Is it just me whose thinking that if the Op is this manipulative at this level, what must it be like living/being friends etc with her?

fedupofnamechanging · 14/04/2012 12:27

Some people will promise the earth, in the hope (assumption?) that they'll never to be called upon to fulfil their promises. It's very much a worry about tomorrow when it comes, attitude. Well, tomorrow has come for you OP.

I think she must be pretty fucking cold to have gone ahead and insisted on calling her son, a name that her dh really disliked. You do wonder, where is the love, in that relationship? If he insists on sticking with Blanche, then it's no more than she deserves. Weird relationship though, where they are happy to ignore each other's feelings like this.

bemybebe · 14/04/2012 12:35

"Weird relationship though, where they are happy to ignore each other's feelings like this."

Agree 100%. I can't imagine doing this to my dh, father of my dc and my trusted partner. Not in a million years do I expect to be treated this way myself.

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