to be mildly irritated at childminder shortening my dc's name

[nicknameshame]

not the biggest crime in the world i know but annoying me!

"My son has a common name, I abhor the commonly accepted shortening for it. People only use it once, as they get told by me that it's unacceptable, then he will say that "my name is not 'x' it is 'y' or 'z' please". A childminder should respect your wish to call your son by the name you choose"

Read this back. What sort of person does it make you sound like? Is that the sort of person you want to be thought?

My son's primary school head sent the most sensible form at reception. It had a section that said - "is your child known by other name at home and are you happy if your child's name is shortened". We said no!

DS has attended one of this country's most prestigious independent schools for nine years. He is 17. On his last report his Headmaster referred to him as , the school mag refers to him as , his tutor calls him , his friends call him , the sports report refers to him as . He has become . We can express a wish - our children become themselves. We call him too now - except when I am very very cross

Seeker I worded it badly. The most common nickname for his quite common name is one I really can't stand. There are a couple of other shortenings that do get used happily. If people use the one I hate I just explain that it puts my teeth on edge and that we either use his full name or the nickname he prefers. His childminder when he went to one was fine with it, school are fine with it and nobody we've met in four and a half years has ever had a problem with it either.

My ds (3yo) has a name that is not typically shortened, but people do try to shorten it anyway but since he could string a sentence together, he giggles and says "my name is x!" and giggles more as if the person shortening his name has made a joke .
Actually, before sentences, he'd say "not y!" with a giggle (in a 'silly you!' sort of way).

I have never corrected anyone about it, btw. It doesn't bother me, but if cm tried to shorten it, I might have said, "oh, we call him x"... Not sure though. I think I would.

Very curious about your ds name now, LMF

My DS gets called "Rice" sometimes instead of Rhys - we crack up It's now his nickname

HavePatience My son has a whole spiel "I have three names! My long name is "x" my short name is "y" and my daddy calls me "son"." Usually followed up with a very cheesy :o

YANBU. You decide what his name is not the cm, teacher, Grandparents until he is old enough to change his mind if he wants.

I know an adult who politely says "Its Jessica, I don't shorten it" when she meets people and if anyone shortens it. Seems to work.

I can't imagine anyone caring enough about this to make it an issue. Our daughter is "Beatrice". We (in PFB mode) almost didn't choose it because we were worried about people calling her "Bee" or "Beebee". Now she's 10 and all her (and our) closest friends call her that...I view it as a term of endearment and now I love it .

If I met an adult in RL who said "My name is Matthew, not Matt", I think I'd write them off as a WACKO.

yanbu
dd's school9sn) do this ffs her name is very short.
but......tbh as the years have gone by. I have noticed they do it with lots of kids and it is like a term of endearment

Now personally I like both my names and don't mind BUT

To write someone off as WACKO because they prefer to be called their name (rather than one you've assigned) seems to me, well... a little bit WACKO...

its a bit precious tbf
unless you are annoyed about premature over familiarity on behalf of the shortener
I had this once.. ds friends mum suddenly invented a whole new name for him and she hardly knew him.. it was like she was telling me what to call my own child!!
I didn't say anything though.. you can't go round controlling everyone ..
I just thought she was a bit strange..

I hate the shortening of my name that my mum used to use. Really hate it. She really hates the shortened version that I choose to use. We have compromised - she calls me by my full name, which is fine!

YWBU to expect to dictate how your DC is referred to forever, but for now YANBU to ask your childminder to use your choice. Control it while you can!

Both my DCs have names that can't really be shortened. God only knows what their friends will call them when they're 15.

I've only ever heard one person called WACKO.

Wacko Jacko. No-one ever called him Mike though did they

It all depends. I started off by stating my DD was to be called by her first name only, thinking that it wouldn't be shortened as that would give her a boys name but from the very start she has been called various NN etc. I quickly gave up on the "her name is Billie" stance. She uses different names for herself depending on what mood she is in (she's now 23)

Billie,
Billie Bobba
Bill,
Lee
Willamena

Every name is used with love

Can't believe I just read seven pages & still didn't find out what the name is...

My money's on Jacob/Jake though

DH laughs at me because, when asked for my name, I tell people either the long or the short version depending on if I like them or their attitude. If they get told my full name he knows they have got my back up! I definitely think nn are only for close friends and family. You can shorten the shortened version of my name down even further to a single syllable but I only like that from close friends. Sometimes acquaintances call me it and it really grates although I rarely say anything tbh. An xbf called me by my initial and somehow that didn't bother me but there are only a select few can get away with that, I think it just feels too familiar otherwise.
I tend to lengthen my dc names as nn as often as shorten them!

I've decided to only choose names for my DC where I like the shortened form better than the long. :) So far I have a Sam who is really Samuel, but I like Sam better so that works. Also prefer Charlie, Will, and Nate to Charles, William, and Nathan/iel. Perfect!

Is the name Richard?

I have a very unusual name which can be shortened to what was a very common nn (for a similar name). I have never been known by the nn. My mother made it clear to school when I went that she wanted me to be known by my full name, and I've never liked that nn either. It isn't inevitable to be called a particular nn, however commonly used the nn might be.

If your child chooses a nn for themselves then that's fair enough, but I really don't understand why people think they have the right to call anyone by a different name than they prefer, or when they are little that their parent uses. It's not a sign of affection in my eyes at all - the people who have tried to shorten my name weren't people I particularly liked or have been close to, they were just people who liked to shorten names (I know this because that's what they told me when I objected - I had to politely explain that if they went on doing so they would find I wouldn't respond because it's not my name!)

I have a family nn, but that is for my immediate family only. I would be extremely pissed off if someone else tried to use it (partly because I don't really think of it as my name any more).

OP, I'd just politely ask your CM not to use the nn anymore.

Not sure what your child's name is, but I have to say that it really irritates me when parents pick a long name (especially a hyphenated one) and expect everyone to roll out the mouthful day in, day out.

Why? How hard is it really? My cousin has a seven syllable name I've never found it terribly hard to use, takes maybe a second or two more than a shorter name.

YABU. It's not a good idea to give your child a name that has a common short version that you hate.

YANBU

I deliberately called my DD Ella so she would have a name easily spell-able and pronouncable in all languages...and not a name that would forever be shortened.
Drove me nuts when her last keyworker called her "Ells" grrr!