to ask why life is so expensive?

[clam]

It's just one thing after another. We're on a more-than-reasonable income, yet if I feel we're struggling to stick within our means, how the hell are others on a lower budget coping?
Every month I think things will calm down, but this month alone we have haircuts needed for all, a trip to the vet (£60) 2 dental hygienist appointments (£50 each!!!!!) and a check up (£35, no NHS available), new tyres needed for the car, MOT coming up, dd has only one pair of wearable shoes other than school ones, ditto ds and his feet have grown, ds theatre trip for drama GCSE, next installment of dd's school residential trip, music lesson fees due for the new term, exam fee, plus we have to pay the accompanist.... you get the picture. Plus I forgot to pay off the sodding credit card last month so just got hit with a late payment fee, plus interest.

Gosh not unreasonable at all. Our total mortgage is 3 x my salary, which I gather is on the low side & I suppose I'd be classed as a high earner (higher rate tax payer at any rate).

My salary is double what it was 3 years ago & it's just as well really because if I was still in my old job we'd really be struggling. I don't feel substantially better off than I did then to be honest - bills for utilities, food & motoring seem to have skyrocketed. We are putting far more in our 'budget account' (for household costs & bills) than we did 3 years ago for certain.

(Though we've had a few extremely nasty surprises with our house so that no doubt contributes to the fact I don't feel comfortable on what should be a very comfortable salary).

As an aside, lots of people (and I'm not thinking specifically of this thread or even this site) appear to equate holidays abroad, new clothes and 'meals out' as evidence of a lavish lifestyle.

While I can't deny it's evidence of not being on the breadline (or as others have noted, of racking up debt) I wouldn't say 1 holiday abroad a year, not buying second hand and going out for the odd pizza is living the life of Riley.

I hate the way people who clearly aren't rolling in cash are judged because they had the temerity to go for a week in Majorca, when often those judging (a) don't know what was given up to get thousand (b) do lots of other things like smoking, regular trips to the pub or takeaways that overall cost just as much.

(BTW I'm not talking about myself re: the holidays. I know I'm fortunate and can afford a better lifestyle than many of my peers).

I used to shop at sainsbos for basics then waitrose for everything else. Since Xmas I've swapped to aldi. It's great, I spent £60 today, and that's three meals a day for five of us, for a week. It included a free range chicken, nice real coffee, real extracts(lemon, almond, vanilla) for baking, and some chocolate!

Fuel and heating oil costs are the reason for my swap, we couldn't afford both. We either need to move to the nearest town so that kids can be walked to school, or buy an electric tri tandem cycle. Then we'd only need one car. But our rent here is cheaper than in town and secure church tenancy, so a bike it will have to be. But they are over a grand!( and I need an electric one as we live on a mahoooosive hill, that I could never pull the kids up!)

Dh and i both work full time in professional jobs.
We are fortunate enough to have been able to take a holiday this year. We don't drink or smoke or buy expensive clothing (in fact i frequent charity shops).
I shop at Lidl or Aldi and my car is four years old. Despite the fact that myself and dh are relatively comfortable, i am careful with my spending. I think that some people don't realise how much they spend

Just driven through the West End of London this evening. No signs of recession there! Glamorous women with bulging designer shopping bags thronging the pavements in Regent Street, the theatres were full, as well as restaurants and bars.

These people are there because they can afford to be. There will always be young people, especially now, who are dependant on the bank of Mum and Dad.

But I bet not many of them are mums clam. Tourists, youngsters, dinkies. Tots up mentally what I have spent on dc this week in the context of children's expenses, balance of school trip, pair of shoes, piano lessons, maths tutor, cricket spikes, sports club sub, and most shocking of all £40 on two new bras and a dozen pair of new knickers for dd - what was it you said in your original thread again ........

I am sometimes surprised when MIL and her DH buy new TVs. carpets, holiday and other things. I wonder how they can afford it. Then I remember they don't have to feed, and clothe and pay for swimming lessons etc for 3 DC.

I sometimes wonder why I work, with the amount I pay in childcare. But once the DC have left home I too might be able to afford a new TV. If I hadn't worked for 15 years, I doubt anyone would want to give me a job.

Yes. Its hard.

Would love to work again when ds2 starts school but as I have been out of the workplace for 5 years I have - basically - no hope.

I am seen as pretty much unemployable atm.

And I am talking about basic clerical work here, not skilled work/career. I have applied for over a dozen p/t clerical jobs since Nov last year. Havent even had an interview.

Cant afford to retrain now with the changes to HE (thanks coalition!!) and if I want to work it looks like it will have to be retail/care work. (have done both in my youth and didnt particularly like them!)

Thanks for this thread OP. We struggle despite earning above the national average. We lurch from payday to payday whilst sucking up rising food/fuel costs. We meal plan, shop in aldi, don't go out, don't buy new clothes, drive a 20 year old car - it's getting to the point where I can't see how to cut down anymore.

As for music lessons and hygienist visits, I think it's sad that music lessons will soon only be the preserve of people who are 'well off' Even if your kid isn't the next Mozart it's a fantastic skill to have. Now hygienists - my DP has gum disease and see's an NHS dentist. She has told him that he needs to see the hygienist, and if he doesn't she'll start treating him as a private patient. (A) the hygienist is private and expensive (B) she works 1 morning a week and DP would have to lose a mornings pay to see her 'cos his boss doesn't see a trip to the hygienist as a 'proper' medical appointment. Also, if he doesn't see her his teeth will probably fall out

p.s. Great tips for Aldi shopping, Smug. If it really is that good, I must try it!

LtEveDallas Just read you post on this thread - you make a lot of sense. There must be thousands of people like you who would love to retire but just can't manage it. But if we all struggle on working, where will the youngsters get jobs? Not getting at you personally, just wondering how things will pan out for the next generation.

Allstron, your DP's dentist is acting inbreach of her NHS contract. When I get onto a proper computer I will PM you with details.

"It's just one thing after another." That is the definition of life. Let us know when you find something better.

Something better is getting a break. It happens sometimes. Like when you get a pay rise, or a new job, or win some money.

It can be as minor as finding the something you need is going to cost less than you thought.