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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask why life is so expensive?

217 replies

clam · 12/04/2012 21:20

It's just one thing after another. We're on a more-than-reasonable income, yet if I feel we're struggling to stick within our means, how the hell are others on a lower budget coping?
Every month I think things will calm down, but this month alone we have haircuts needed for all, a trip to the vet (£60) 2 dental hygienist appointments (£50 each!!!!!) and a check up (£35, no NHS available), new tyres needed for the car, MOT coming up, dd has only one pair of wearable shoes other than school ones, ditto ds and his feet have grown, ds theatre trip for drama GCSE, next installment of dd's school residential trip, music lesson fees due for the new term, exam fee, plus we have to pay the accompanist.... you get the picture. Plus I forgot to pay off the sodding credit card last month so just got hit with a late payment fee, plus interest. Angry

OP posts:
Hissboo · 12/04/2012 22:09

margoandjerry your comment about the hygenist made me snort with laughter, sorry! Grin

I'm amazed at how everyone I know seems to afford a rather grand lifestyle on probably a similar income to me, especially my db whose dcs always have the latest of everything.

I did feel guilty this week when we were in the dentist's waiting room and ds was talking to another boy. The other boy was playing on a Nintendo DS and said he also had a Wii. Ds's reaction was 'wow, how lucky you have a Wii'. The other mother laughed and I felt embarrassed.

Heswall · 12/04/2012 22:10

I sat and worked out we are £30,000 down since 2007 if we ever get back to those heady days I will be saving every penny of that 30k

Sparklingbrook · 12/04/2012 22:13

According to DS1 (12) he is the only one in Year 8 without a Blackberry. Plus dress down day was a 'How expensive is your hoodie' day from what I saw. All Hollister and Jack Wills which is ridiculously expensive for what it is. Confused

rhondajean · 12/04/2012 22:14

Yep, dd1 12 informed me we are the only family among her group of friends who weren't in spain first week of the easter holidays. And despite having had three school bags this year, her friends all have new ones every month at least.

Yes school BAGS.

Original poster
clam · 12/04/2012 22:16

My kids do have those hoodies, but courtesy of a godmother who gets them at a fraction of the price in the US.
And that's another thing, why are things cheaper abroad than here?

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 12/04/2012 22:19

clam I totally get where you are coming from.

On paper we have a good income, and our mortgage is very manageable. Each month though we end up spending more than I had planned, and we don't eat out more than once a month, or have loads of takeaway, or trips out for coffee and cake.

Doing things has got expensive. Tickets, travel, hotels, meal out. Anything out of the ordinary makes a real dent in the budget.

megabored · 12/04/2012 22:19

It's probably a small % purchasing those bmws and handbags. It makes me really surprised and very sad when a mum on here writes in for ideas to feed a family for less than £10 for 10 days... Sad
It scares me. It makes me angry also on where we r as a society too. What can we do?

winetime · 12/04/2012 22:22

Mine do not have a blackberry - they have passed down phones from DH's work.

Have got the middle 2 a job leaflet delivering

If they want to get into mobile contracts they have to pay for it - all have an account and card with a bank so they can sort it out - they are 12, 14 and 15.

Biggest one does his own thing on ebay so earns his money by that

little one is quite happy at the moment and not too expensive!

Sparklingbrook · 12/04/2012 22:22

Coffee and cake for a family of four costs about twenty quid. Sad

cheesesarnie · 12/04/2012 22:23

op-you can afford harcuts?Shock
cheesesarnie mum to hippie children

cheesesarnie · 12/04/2012 22:24

bloody fat fingers i mean haircuts

winetime · 12/04/2012 22:25

DH cuts the boy's hair

DD has been to hairdresser twice - she is 14!

rhondajean · 12/04/2012 22:26

Winetime - I agree with your principle! But phone contracts are regarded as credit contracts, so I believe you can't get one personally u til 18. Just so you know if the dc come back complaining.

winetime · 12/04/2012 22:27

sorry, DH cuts the boys' hair (there are 3)

mayaswell · 12/04/2012 22:29

Comparing yourself with others is pointless. I have a friend who 'paid off her mortgage' by what I thought was planning/saving, she recently confessed her MIL had paid it off. Our mortgage is a bloody great millstone, and we live in a poky semi, moving would cost a fortune and we can't downsize anyway. And you're right about the cars and designer clothes, they're everywhere! Not bitter, not bitter, not bitter...

winetime · 12/04/2012 22:32

Thanks rhondajean - mine are all on pay as u go. However, they have gone on about XX from school has a contract and can text loads.

In that case they will not be getting a contract! Did not realise that - thank you!

Whatmeworry · 12/04/2012 22:32

And you're right about the cars and designer clothes, they're everywhere! Not bitter, not bitter, not bitter...

The designer clothes in magazines are deliberate - very few people actually buy them, but it makes people believe others are and so they spend more themselves. I think its called "bracketing, by showing the £3000 outfit it makes more people buy the £300 one not the £30 one.

startail · 12/04/2012 22:44

I know exactly where the OP is coming from.
We should have money left at the end of the month and we just don't have anymore.
Partly understandable, with teen DD wearing adult price clothes and eating adult amounts of food, but also inflation way beyond what the government pretends.

Oil, petrol, electricity, food, clothes and especially shoes have gone through the roof.

Nice Mum boots a 2 years ago would have been £40 Clarks now want £60-80
£45 for sandals that should be £28, likewise school shoes for DD1
£5-10 added to a lot of every day cloth prices and often nothing faintly nice without going for the better brands. Next I am looking at youAngry

Desiel April 2009, £1.03 it is now £1.49

Heating oil is about as bad.

We live in the country, commuting and paying for petrol is a fact of life. It just means we have old carpets, furniture and cheap cars.

happybubblebrain · 12/04/2012 22:55

Wilkos do pretty cheap stationary. You have to shop around and lots of things can be bought second hand.

I earn much much less than you OP, less than half the national average. I haven't had a pay rise for 8 years. But I don't feel that poor and I can afford holidays. There are things I don't pay for which keeps my daily living costs down so I can afford some luxuries - I don't run a car, I self-insure everything (insurance companies are bigger thieves than the banks) I cut and colour my own hair because hairdressers charge far too much. We eat mostly vegetarian food and shop at Aldis. I keep my bills, food and living costs as low as possible. I have no debts. Because of this we can afford some luxuries.

Original poster
clam · 12/04/2012 23:07

I fully acknowledge that cuts can be made. We could shop for cut-price veg at the end of the day at the market, or grow our own. We could go camping in a field for a holiday. I could take up knitting for clothes. I know all that. And I know that we are very fortunate in that our income doesn't necessitate any of that. I wasn't even whingeing (much) about our circumstances.
BUT, it has become so expensive to live nowadays, and wages (generally, for most) aren't keeping up.
Out of interest, did dental hygienists exist when I we were kids? Did book bags?

OP posts:
victorialucas · 12/04/2012 23:11

haircuts needed for all, a trip to the vet (£60) 2 dental hygienist appointments (£50 each!!!!!) and a check up (£35, no NHS available), new tyres needed for the car, MOT coming up, dd has only one pair of wearable shoes other than school ones, ditto ds and his feet have grown, ds theatre trip for drama GCSE, next installment of dd's school residential trip, music lesson fees due for the new term, exam fee, plus we have to pay the accompanist...

right, I was tempted to make a 'diamond shoes' comment but I decided against
seriously OP you have to learn to distinguish between want and need. Ive NEVER taken DCs to a hairdresser and Ive not been myslef for 4 years. It's just not a priority. if I did go I would consider it a luxuery and appreciate it. maybe you have forgotton how to appreciate things?
Teeth: brush 3 times a day, dont eat sugar and floss daily, I havent been to the dentist for 15 years
Shoes: no-one NEEDS more then 2 pairs, stop reading stupid magazines
Trips: a DC doesn't NEED a trip to get a pass/A* in an exam
Music: dont even get me started...

The best way to feel better off is to cut back your fixed outgoings so you have £200 pcm spare in cash. It just stops the worry and stress.

JoanaM · 12/04/2012 23:11

My dentist only got a hygienist about 3 years ago and since then has been recommending everyone to see her. Before that no one in the family had problems.

Heswall · 12/04/2012 23:13

Imagine the hygienist to be like a service for your car, not essential I suppose but where you can replace a gasket the teeth aren't so easy replaced and over a 10 year period it's better to spend the £2,000 on preventative measures than implants to replace the teeth that have to be removed.

seb1 · 12/04/2012 23:16

I notice a difference in my credit card bill, a few years ago you looked at the bottom line and went oh it is big because I bought one expensive items or lots of small items (like when decorating and 25 trips to B&Q in a short space of time), no now it is big with a couple of lots of petrol and a few supermarket shops. Shock.

JoanaM · 12/04/2012 23:23

Is the money spent on toothpaste mouthwash dental floss and tooth brushes not enough preventative care?

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