to ask why life is so expensive?

[clam]

It's just one thing after another. We're on a more-than-reasonable income, yet if I feel we're struggling to stick within our means, how the hell are others on a lower budget coping?
Every month I think things will calm down, but this month alone we have haircuts needed for all, a trip to the vet (£60) 2 dental hygienist appointments (£50 each!!!!!) and a check up (£35, no NHS available), new tyres needed for the car, MOT coming up, dd has only one pair of wearable shoes other than school ones, ditto ds and his feet have grown, ds theatre trip for drama GCSE, next installment of dd's school residential trip, music lesson fees due for the new term, exam fee, plus we have to pay the accompanist.... you get the picture. Plus I forgot to pay off the sodding credit card last month so just got hit with a late payment fee, plus interest.

Yep, gettingeasier, me and Amazon have a special, special relationship

I'm not one who gets music lessons for the children (yet!) but I guess it is a mixture of lots of things

• People had them themselves and feel that their children should have what they had

• You don't know if you have an aptitude for something unless you can try it (and sometimes try it quite a bit)

- Many people come back to instruments in later life, having learnt them as children - It makes people feel (whether younger or older) that playing music is something they can "have a go at" and is not a closed book or something that other people do - Understanding stuff like how to read a score, how different time signatures work (think that is the right terminology!) while not exactly an essential life skill is still one of those things that it's good to have at least a vague grasp of - It adds rounding to education especially for children who are not keen on other activities like sport and will enable them to join in with local and school music things which again is nice if they are not sporty / into the chess club / whatever

I am sure there are more. HTH

I recently set up a spending plan following lots of advice from on here. It really helps. The most useful part was being able to project ahead. For example, I have a wedding to go to in July (overnight stay, travel, gift etc) but I've put the amount into the spread sheet. It allows me to see which months will be expensive and ones where I have more wriggle room.

And I missed the biggest one of all which is of course because the child wants to and enjoys it!

Football is not the inexpensive hobby I thought it would be. Footy boots, goalie gloves. Petrol to away matches, tournaments, annual subs. All double because the two DS do it. But they absolutely love it.

Is the money spent on toothpaste mouthwash dental floss and tooth brushes not enough preventative care?

It will be if you use them properly, you only get sent to the hygienist when it's necessary.

I firmly believe the dentist trips are important. Much better to look after you teeth than pay a huge bill as you've left it until your teeth are rotten.

I agree, Sardine. Music is very valuable. Those are great reasons.

I suppose I was equating it more to encouraging a child to read and enjoy books - it doesn't have to be expensive and something done professionals.

That said, I seemed to have failed there with DD who couldn't be less interested in picking up a book so I suppose another advantage of dedicated music lessons from a non-parent is that the child is given the opportunity to learn in a separate environment with someone they will pay attention to

There are so many distractions in today's world; shops open all week, games consoles and all-day children's television.

victorialucas you have missed the point of the thread.

Have to say Poundland can be very good for things like renewing pencil case items, glue etc..... DW would have been far too superior to go into a shop like that 15 - 20 years ago, but happily goes in for Brunch Bars (half the price of supermarkets), craft stuff and the odd exceptional bargain in the toys category....

At least if you are paying less for those items it gives you some sense of minding the pennies.

By the way, I wouldn't really regard one paid-for activity per child as expensive, but any more and would think you were being extravagant. We have some Yummy Mummy friends whose children do cubs/brownies, swimming, drama, football, Kumon Maths (or equivalent) and music lessons - that's not even going with natural aptitudes but overkill in my thinking...

So many seem to have missed the point of this thread, Clam. I've understood it not as a "woe is me, I'm skint" post, but an "I'm better off than the vast majority of the population and yet it's still a struggle" post.

DH and I, in terms of household income, must be in the top 2% of British taxpayers. We have no kids.

Yet we live in a far from gracious part of London, we shop at Tesco, we drive ancient cars which we won't replace until they're scrap. We hardly ever buy new clothes. Not a week goes buy when I don't shriek at the cost of petrol or groceries.

We do spend money on travel, hobbies and socialising, but we're talking Europe, museums and friends round for supper, not yachts in Antigua and lavish entertaining at country house weekends.

I'm not complaining for a moment about our lot, but if we're not living the life of Reilly on substantial six figures a year, how is life on people earning 10% of our income? It's an outrage, and yet the government claims inflation is under control .

I think it's a bit like being on a diet. If you write down everything you eat, you realise where you go wrong. If you write down and keep a record of what you spend every month, you can have a much better picture of where you spend too much money and where you can cut back.

We have a very general budget, but it goes out the window very often. We have a budget for food, but if we work hard one month we might have a couple of take aways, so there's another £20 on top. I have a cleaner (luxury) if I am working long hours and can't keep up with house work. Yes, I realise that some things are luxury items, but it is very expensive. One of my kids has drama lessons, non essential, but he loves it. THey both do tennis, and football. And we go swimming often. They are all luxury items, and I suppose it could all be cut back.
Oh yes one think we save on is that we do house exchanges for holidays, have been doing this for five years, and we think they are absolutely fab. We've just spent a week in Copenhagen, in a nice 4 bedroom family home with a fantastic playroom and a Wii game, which my kids really enjoyed as we don't have one at home! I would recommend house exchanges, we've been to the south of France, Italy, Spain, now Denmark, and we've also done a couple of exchanges in the UK (Lake District and Devon). Fantastic holidays.

Welcome to capitalism?

Yet we live in a far from gracious part of London, we shop at Tesco, we drive ancient cars which we won't replace until they're scrap. We hardly ever buy new clothes. Not a week goes buy when I don't shriek at the cost of petrol or groceries

I think the cost of housing realtive to income, in the South East especially, is the underlying cause of most of these problems.

It's getting out of control IME.

Both the kids needed new shoes last month, that was £60 gone.
Dishwasher broke, £60 repair.

School lunches are £10 a week. When both the dc's are at school I'll be waving goodbye to £80 a month .

I've just pencilled in a date for a car service + brake fluid change so that's £200+ gone.

I save money for essentials every month but can't keep up anymore. I'm going to dig around in the loft and do some more e-baying.

And I need new work and casual shoes. I've been walking more to save on petrol so the shoes don't last for that long.

Clam I hear you and agree with every word! We both work (me part time) don't have a huge mortgage, 2 dc and it feels like we're swimming through treacle some months!
Yes, we run 2 cars, but we both work shifts so public transport isn't an option.
In the past we could save for a holiday out of our normal income but this year we're both working a LOT of overtime to pay for it. I shop almost exclusively at Aldi, and I can't remember the last time I bought clothes that weren't from Ebay.
Dd has a dance class and ds gymnastics but I don't feel that having them attend 1 activity each is excessive when we both work.
I do have to agree that a spreadsheet is the way to go --my dad showed me how to do it on paper when I left home (pre excel!) and i still do it that way!

clam, I could have written your post. Dh earns a good wage and we are 10 days from pay day and I have been using the credit card to buy food because I have run out of money.

Only a few years ago, I could spend a couple of hundred pound on a day out clothes shopping/nice things for the dc, every month and still be fine, financially. Those days are gone.

Like you, I really don't know how some people are managing, or where the money is coming from for holidays. Maybe I am just spectacularly bad at budgeting.

In a years time, my car loan will be paid off (for the car that is off road, because I can't afford to tax, insure and run it) and I can then divert that money towards my credit card bill

Until I set up my budget/spending record, I was always being surprised by expenses. Now I know better what is coming up. It really really helps. You can't get a handle on money until you are clear about what is coming in when and what is going out when. Now that the recession is beginning to bite, we are all going to have to deal with this.

There is also a tendency to think big salary/good salary is enough. Eg: we earn £XXX but to see the annual salary is not a good technique. Often when you work it out per month, you realise that actually, you have a modest disposable income despite the good salary.

I know the feeling. Been in our overdraft for the last year.

Well clam if you are going to be like that- go to an area where 1 in 3 children live in poverty, where families huddle in one room because their electricity card has run out and who have 1 meal a day because they can't afford to heat their food, or the children who wear their uniforms at the weekend because they don't have anything else, and have to sleep in bedrooms with mould up the walls because they can't afford to move, or whose only toothbrushes and toothpastes are provided by the school/nursery and if they run out- tough, or have never been outside their hometown EVER, have never seen a lamb or calf let alone know what a flipping violin is- you are deluded and spoilt. Go do some volunteering with home start or similar and be thankful for all you have in life!!

That's a bit harsh, VL.

That's uncalled for.

I actually do work in those areas blog and we have a so called good income and still struggle. Yes we know other people are worth off but it doesn't take away our concerns.

Haircuts a car good shoes and oos activities are not living the high life.

Blog should be vl.

I really don't think life is that expensive, and certainly not for city dwellers, mortgage interest rates are very low, rents aren't that high, food is a little more expensive than a few years ago, but still a lot cheaper for a lot better quality than 10 or 20 years ago. Petrol is certainly more expensive, but for the city dweller that shouldn't be too relevant.