AIBU to be so angry that dh reorganized my day without asking me?

[5dcsinneedofacleaner]

I have been planning a day out with my youngest baby, nothing spectacular just browsing some shops, but uniform and other bits but at my own pace with just one baby (she is 8 weeks old breastfed so i have to take her!). I told my dh how much i was looking forward to getting out in a stress free way as i have 5 dcs not many normal trips are relaxing!.So dh was meant to be staying with the 4 older ones while i went out.
so he rushes off and rearranges the day he is now taking the older dc to the cinema and i am apparently taking the younger ones plus MIL shopping. Not relaxing at all MIL hates spending money and although shes lovely she will moan if i spend more than 99p on anything. I cant imagine why he has done this at all - and before you wonder I have no issues with overspending so its not as though i need keeping an eye on.

I am furious with my dh for rearranging everything but cant really get out of it now and it will be ages until I really get to have time to go out for a relaxing time between dhs work and the other children :(

AIBU because according to dh i am "going on at him" about it.

YANBU

Sorry, bit of a sharp looking reply! I completely agree with you tho, I'd be gutted too.

YANBU - I wouldn't go tbh, I'd wait til the kids were back at school next week and not tell MIL I was going

YANBU! I would be rearranging the day back to the way it was!

tell him that its not happening

Why is he interfering? Just don't do it, keep to your original plan.

I feel so guilty changing plans with MIL she seems oddly excited and although I at furious at DH MIL had no idea of the original plans, so either i disappoint MIL or myself. I might just tell everyone im ill and stay in bed

Tell him the mil can take oldest to cinema. He can stay home with the rest and you and youngest will continue with your original plan.

I hate people rearranging my plans too, especially when I have made those plans clear.

I have no idea why he interfered he seems to think a day out with 3 children until 3, a double buggy and his mother is a dream come true for me

OK, I could maybe see him succumbing to taking the eldest to the cinema if they were asking (there are some good films out just now), but how did the MIL get included? (YANBU, BTW.)

Don't go. Unless you can plonk MIL plus DC in a cafe and then meander around doing shopping on your own for the most part and keep nipping back to feed the baby.

Ooh, excellent suggestion manicbmc!

Yanbu

I would be furious.

YANBU, as for "cant really get out of it now" just take the baby and go shopping as planned. Leave him to deal with the rest of them.
STICK TO THE PLAN

Reread this and all he is doing is taking the older kids to the cinema - meaning you have to take 3 under 3.

You so have to stick up for yourself and tell HIM to reorganise his day - a days shopping with a small baby is in no way unreasonable. I would simply ignore his reorganisation if DP pulled a stunt like this (he never would though)

I can see quite clearly why he has done this.

Instead of a day at home with 4 children, he now has a cinema trip with 2 children, and the eldest ones at that who are presumably the easiest to take out.

Tear a strip off him, and tell him to ring his mum and tell her the plan is off but that she is welcome to come and spend the day with him and your 4 eldest children.

What a selfish idiot.

Of course YANBU. Why don't you just rearrange it back?

Yes you can get out of it.

You are not in it.

Your DH has made plans with MIL, but has not consulted YOU.

It isn't happening. How annoying, but his responsibility to call his mum and UN-arrange it.

Seriously, do this, and it will stop him from pulling this stunt again.

What a dick.

Just take the baby and leave.

How fucking dare he arrange your time for you like that?

Your MIL's disappointment is entirely the fault of the controlling lazy arsehole who thinks his wife's diary is his business to arrange.

No way!

I think if you rang your MIL and said "actually DH has got the wrong end of the stick, but I'd love to do something with you on X day instead." she would understand totally.

I would be livid if DH did this. 3 under 3 is NOT a day off.

I would go out as planned (if not a little earlier) with just the baby and leave your DH to get on with it.

He's either the meanest person alive or the thickest. What's he playing at?

Too late to be of any influence now, but as soon as you heard that you should've got your coat on and run out of the door with the baby.

YANBU

I would be angry too, I would also be completely incapable of leaving the house because of suddenly feeling really ill, no idea what it is but I just can't drag myself out of bed.