I don't know if I am being unreasonable or if she is, so I'd like your opinions
My friend has been off work for a few months now. She had an accident at work which has triggered some underlying conditions. She suffers with ME and is prone to the occasional flare-up, which she is currently experiencing. It does cause her to be exhausted a lot of the time, and often causes her to have aching muscles. I do know that she is suffering, but she is also able to do quite a lot - she still takes the dog for a short walk every day and she is able to drive short distances to the local shops, hairdressers and cafes when she wants / needs to. She gave me a huge pile of information about her condition a when it first started and demanded that I read it all, because there was no point in me seeing her so often and not understanding how she is affected.
I have spent a lot of time with this friend whilst she's been off work. We've met up at least once every week. It always seems to be on her terms. She will decide where we are meeting and when is convenient for her and will tell me, rather than ask, so texts will say things like "Tuesday is best for me. I'll see you at 11." I am expected to just agree. We used to meet out a lot, but she is no longer getting occupational sick leave, so does not want to spend money on eating/ having a cuppa out. Fair enough. I have no problem with accommodating that. However, she now insists that I go to visit her at her house, when she is available. Her husband runs his own business from home and is able to drive her out if needed. Her house is a 40 min walk from my house, I don't drive and it isn't on a bus route.
I had my DS 8.5 months ago. I had a difficult delivery. I have since been diagnosed with PTSD and postnatal depression. I also still suffer from pains in my various scarred places, and I am prone to days when I'd rather stick my head in the oven than leave the house. However, I have always made the effort to go to visit her because I know she needs the company, and I have only missed on a few occasions.
Recently, I've gotten more and more annoyed about it - the fact that everything is on her terms. If she cancels, then it's fine, but when I cancel, it's a different matter. I cancelled once a couple of weeks ago as DS hadn't slept all night, and neither had I, I was exhausted and in a lot of pain. I was having an awful day (one of my worst since starting on antidepressants) and I really wasn't fit for company. I was in full-on panic attack mode about leaving the house. I told her this and her response (in full) was "I'm disappointed about not seeing you, but I suppose you know best". On one occasion 2 or 3 weeks ago, I felt unable to take DS to her house as I didn't think I had the walk in me and he was ill, whiny and clingy. I asked if she could get her DH to bring her round, thinking DS would be better at home, and she replied "No. I don't want to go out today". She never asks how I am doing, or about DS, or anything really unless it suits her.
I was quite upset by this particular comment about her not wanting to go out, and after talking to HusbandHobs, decided to send her some information on PND and PTSD with and explanation that I hoped this information would be useful to her and help her understand where I was coming from etc. I thought it might highlight for her how I am feeling most of the time so that perhaps she would be more understanding when I don't feel up to visiting her.
So today, I have had a response saying she didn't think there was any point reading it as she "had enough on her plate with her own issues, thanks" and as it's all in my head anyway, the best way for her to help would be to carry on as normal so I would get over it quicker. I was a bit 
. I like to think I've been very accommodating of her and her issues over the last few months. I make more of an effort to pull myself out of my black hole of doom to go to see her than I do for most other people, but it seems that she doesn't appreciate it, and is unwilling to ever return the favour for me.
I know that I am prone to being negative about things at the minute which is why I am here asking AIBU here or is she? I'd ask HusbandHobs, but he is too scared to disagree with me in case I go batshit-crazy on him 