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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this woman should pay more attention to her own appearance.

159 replies

lurkinginthebackground · 09/04/2012 00:32

Took my mum and 2 dds out to NT event for Easter.
It was cold and involved traipsing around a NT property, doing the Easter Egg Hunt, exploring the adventure playground for clues and then looking at the "gardens".
We didn't go into the stately home as it was £14 just to see the gardens plus £2 per child for the egg hunt.
Anyway "the gardens" turned out to be no more than very large fields with grass and the occassional set of trees.

We were all dressed in coats and flat shoes.
DD1, who is 15, pointed out a woman who had quite literally eyed her up and down starting at her feet, then worked her way up until she finally looked at dds hair and then pulled a not too happy face! dd2 verified that she actually did this!
My dd was wearing Pineapple shoes, baggy jeans, a rose coloured sweat top and a Superdry coat. Her hair was French plaited at the front then tied in a ponytail. She also had very subtle make up.
I tried to laugh it off and told her that the woman was probably admiring her.
She said no mum, she didn't do it in that way,
Anyway the woman looked ok from behind, albeit in a cardigan,Ugg style boots and NO COAT (shudders) but when she turned round had a face to turn the prettist of things into stone.
She looked very old to be a mother of the small child she was with (6,7ish).
I then told dd not to worry as she aws hardly any sort of fashionista.
Secretly I looked at this woman and thought "take a long hard look at yourself, you really are not in any position to throw stones are you?"

Not needing advice just cannot believe that a grown woman would do that to a child. Get a grip you silly cow.

OP posts:
IAmBooyhoo · 09/04/2012 12:25

originalplurker ?

interesting username.

GreenEyesAndHam · 09/04/2012 12:28

Aw bless Grin

lunamoon · 09/04/2012 12:30

I agree with Original.

Seems to me there are a lot of bitches on mn who are perhaps jealous of the op whose family seem quite well balanced compared to others.
Perhaps those posters prefer a thread where the op's teenage daughter is some kind of wayward type. Having sex, taking drugs, refusing to do anything their parents say.

lunamoon · 09/04/2012 12:33

Perhaps posters were hoping the ops daughter was wearing 6 inch heels, a bikini, a thong and supporting bright grren hair with several facial piercings thrown in for good measure.
The fact that she was wearing a pretty standard teenage uniform gives them no ammo.

LadyBeagleEyes · 09/04/2012 12:36

I think the Op was way more nasty about the other woman's appearance than any poster on here.

GreenEyesAndHam · 09/04/2012 12:36

No, no it's not that.

Originalplurker · 09/04/2012 12:36
gothicmama · 09/04/2012 12:41

[bubiscuit]

MrsKittyFane · 09/04/2012 12:41

luna: Seems to me there are a lot of bitches on mn who are perhaps jealous of the op whose family seem quite well balanced compared to others.
I don't think OP's posts are balanced actually.
She goes into great detail about clothes and what people look like, complains about this boring NT garden and exchanges glances with her mum after hearing other's talk about the garden. Pot and Kettle.

gafhyb · 09/04/2012 12:43

I'll admit. I'm super jealous

Highlander · 09/04/2012 12:43

Superdry. Also known as 'SupaChav' Wink

Originalplurker · 09/04/2012 12:44

I almost agree lady it maybe the op's opinion, and yes a nasty one or a statement of fact, without a pic of said women we can't say, but then we would have to judge wouldn't we.

But I can understand a mother 'striking back' at a women who apparently judged her daughter and made her feel uncomfortable. The op is a tiger mom!

However I'm surprised this discussion hasn't focused on the guidance that can be given to a 15 yr old re dealing with people like that and her feelings.

Would the op have judged this women or even noticed her if her dd hadn't pointed her out?

MrsKittyFane · 09/04/2012 12:44

Luna Are you the OP? Hmm

gafhyb · 09/04/2012 12:46

Original - I agree with the bit about guidance to the daughter - disarming smile is best, I think

lunamoon · 09/04/2012 12:47

No I'm not the op!
Didn't do much myself over Easter was working, and glad too tbh.

MrsKittyFane · 09/04/2012 12:47

original: However I'm surprised this discussion hasn't focused on the guidance that can be given to a 15 yr old re dealing with people like that and her feelings.
The OP said at the start : Not needing advice just cannot believe that a grown woman would do that to a child. Get a grip you silly cow.

So no advice given. Just pointing out that maybe OP is just as much of a silly cow.

MrsKittyFane · 09/04/2012 12:50

Sorry Luna you don't sound like the OP.
< doesn't know why she said it >
:(

blubberyboo · 09/04/2012 12:52

OP you don't actually know for sure that the lady was looking at your DD
she could have been looking at something behind her and just caught her eye. Teenage girls are notoriously paranoid that everyone is looking at them
She could have been making a wincing face cos maybe her own DD was whining at the time
she could have been daydreaming
or maybe something happened earlier in the day that irritated her for example perhaps your family unknowingly jumped a queue or something or you DD used bad language or something
some ppl do absent mindedly look at others

I don't know but I do think you are over reacting - we all share the same planet - our eyes are going to fall on other people at some time or another. It makes you a worse person to be making such a big deal about it..i imagine that you are a paranoid & confrontational person

TrollopDollop · 09/04/2012 12:57

I would just shrug it off as your daughtrer maybe got it wrong or the woman was thinking of something else or whatever really. Either way I don't think its worth giving a second thought.

Originalplurker · 09/04/2012 13:03

Fair enough mrskitty

You know, so what if the op is a paranoid and confrontational person. If she is then you can understand why this has got under her skin, not everyone can shake things off and it is her dd.

Paranoid people often suffer from anxiety and can have difficulty keeping things in perspective, it's quite possible it stems from poor self esteem or insecurity. So poster just keep on at op...maybe she should have put this in mental health.

I think op thought someone was not nice to her dd via a look and she retaliated. You could argue the crux of the ops post is should a women who is seemingly not well groomed/attractive have the right to judge n throw a look to another.

Wasnt there a thread about the gym women in her track suit at the supermarket this week and one about what makes us common, which alluded to appearances a lot? Think I'll go back to lurking elsewhere

MrsKittyFane · 09/04/2012 13:15

Original I agree that this type of paranoia / aggression comes from insecurity but it also comes from ego.

Insecurity can lead to aggression of course.
But an insecure person with an ego the size of a planet is just the worst IMHO!

lunamoon · 09/04/2012 13:25

I think it would have been much funnier if the op had said.
I was walking with my dd who is heavily preganant and was smoking at the time. She had agreed to only wear her 6 inch shoes instead of the 8 inch she normally does and she had at least agreed to wear a coat albeit the leopard print one.She was also wearing a skirt and yes it was a skirt even though you could still see her ladybits. DD had just stopped tellng other dd to shut the f up you little c,when this woman started looking at her. I told dd not to worry, we can't all look so glam on a day out over the cold bank holiday can we. Never mind I'll go and fetch those cans of lager I promised you if you came today.

GreenEyesAndHam · 09/04/2012 13:30

Nah it is way funnier just as it was, with the pineapple shoes and the boxing gloves

MrsKittyFane · 09/04/2012 13:36

:o Luna

cornishsue · 09/04/2012 13:38

LOL - thanks for the laugh, OP. My daughter behaved like this in Junior School - "mum, mum, she looked at me funny!"

But seriously, hope you had a nice day out together. It beats a 5 hour Monopoly marathon in this house!!

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