Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this woman should pay more attention to her own appearance.

159 replies

lurkinginthebackground · 09/04/2012 00:32

Took my mum and 2 dds out to NT event for Easter.
It was cold and involved traipsing around a NT property, doing the Easter Egg Hunt, exploring the adventure playground for clues and then looking at the "gardens".
We didn't go into the stately home as it was £14 just to see the gardens plus £2 per child for the egg hunt.
Anyway "the gardens" turned out to be no more than very large fields with grass and the occassional set of trees.

We were all dressed in coats and flat shoes.
DD1, who is 15, pointed out a woman who had quite literally eyed her up and down starting at her feet, then worked her way up until she finally looked at dds hair and then pulled a not too happy face! dd2 verified that she actually did this!
My dd was wearing Pineapple shoes, baggy jeans, a rose coloured sweat top and a Superdry coat. Her hair was French plaited at the front then tied in a ponytail. She also had very subtle make up.
I tried to laugh it off and told her that the woman was probably admiring her.
She said no mum, she didn't do it in that way,
Anyway the woman looked ok from behind, albeit in a cardigan,Ugg style boots and NO COAT (shudders) but when she turned round had a face to turn the prettist of things into stone.
She looked very old to be a mother of the small child she was with (6,7ish).
I then told dd not to worry as she aws hardly any sort of fashionista.
Secretly I looked at this woman and thought "take a long hard look at yourself, you really are not in any position to throw stones are you?"

Not needing advice just cannot believe that a grown woman would do that to a child. Get a grip you silly cow.

OP posts:
TheNightIsDarkAndFullOfTerrors · 09/04/2012 01:53

Thank you; I will!

savoycabbage · 09/04/2012 04:07

I am baffled by all of this. Why does it matter how much the entrance fee was or about the trees or even about the subtle make-up or the 6/7 year oldConfused It's like a short story in 'take a break.'

Am I right is saying that a woman looked at a teen and the teen had a french plait and a superdry coat and the woman had no coat but she looked ok from the back and she too old for the 6/7 year olds company and she didn't have pineapple shoes and the gardens weren't that good but..............no I'm lost.

shinyblackgrape · 09/04/2012 04:31

gilbert - me too! I've had to get up for my nightly pregnancy pee. Just came on for a quick read and am now rolling in silent mirth beside DH. I'll never get to sleep now.

OP - I hope your DD's managed to move on from this traumatic incident now and you too

PinkFondantFancy · 09/04/2012 05:29

I'm afraid I'm forced to use my first ever Biscuit

Did you shout "oi, WTF are you looking at" as well?????? Hmm

In my old job, anything that was written had to pass a 'so what' test so that you don't end up confusing the reader and overloading them with irrelevant information. I think I need this to be applied to your OP so that in my sleep deprived state I can work out whether you want to talk about the extortionate gardens, what the woman did, what the woman was wearing or something else????

Shutupanddrive · 09/04/2012 07:48
Hmm
TheBolter · 09/04/2012 08:04

Regardless of funny looks, entrance fees, pineapple shoes or whatever, OP I think you could use this incident to look deeper into the issues behind your somewhat irrational reaction here! Grin

We all feel defensive of our children, and yes I too would question why someone might 'disapprove' of my children in an apparently obvious and hurtful way, but I certainly wouldn't get worked up this much about it!

Perhaps you need to wonder whether a) you may be a little it paranoid and need to have a word with yourself whenever this feeling comes up again or b) look at the way you are immediately quite aggressive towards anyone who might take issue with your dd. She will have to fight her own battles this way. Your attitude, if you made it apparent to your dd, will do her no favours as she could grow up with a bit of a 'victimised' attitude. Far better to teach them to ignore/ take it on the chin/ get over it and not care what others think. It will equip her far better in life to deal with stuff.

TheBolter · 09/04/2012 08:05

own battles one day and a little bit. Sorry!

Rhubarbgarden · 09/04/2012 08:13

I think if I'd complained to my mother about someone giving me funny looks as a teenager, she'd probably have said 'I'm not surprised, wearing that outfit/poodle perm. I gave you a funny look when you came downstairs too'. And she would have been right.

twofingerstoGideon · 09/04/2012 08:14

YABU taking a 15 year old to a National Trust property and expecting her to enjoy it (speaks from experience).

onadifferentplanet · 09/04/2012 08:14

With both your dds able to give you such a clear description of this woman's actions and for you to be able to describe in detail what she was wearing and her appearance both from front and behind. I would question who in fact was doing the staring in the first place.

DPrince · 09/04/2012 08:15

So this woman 'may' have looked at your dd in a disapproving manner so you react by being a bitch yourself. Pot, kettle anyone?
Perhaps your dd was being sensitive, perhaps the woman had lost a contact, perhaps she did look at her funny. Why do you care? What are you teaching your kids? Its ok to be horrible about someone if you suspect they have been mean first. You really sound childish.

fedupofnamechanging · 09/04/2012 08:31

I thought the bit about the gardens was quite interesting. £14 for a walk around a field? We are so ripped off in this country, when it comes to days out. In conversation, people often include details which are not strictly relevant, but so what?

I don't get why people are being so critical of the OP. If someone had given my dd a dirty look and did the whole up-and-down look (and girls know when this has happened), then I'd feel stabby about it too. 15 year olds are children and deserve kindness from adults.

VivaLeBeaver · 09/04/2012 08:33
VivaLeBeaver · 09/04/2012 08:35

And why is it such a big deal in your life that even if the woman did give your dd a dirty look that you need to come on MN and write about it in such detail.

If my dd had told me this I'd have told her not to worry about how someone she doesn't know has looked at her and I wouldn't have given it a second thought.

fedupofnamechanging · 09/04/2012 08:39

Tbf Viva, people post all sorts of trivial stuff on MN. If we could only post about things that are a big deal, half of this site would disappear.

LentillyFart · 09/04/2012 08:40

Maybe she thought your DD looked nice but was unable to form her stony gargoyle face into an approving look. Although tbh, what with all those labels and bloody SuperDry as well I'll grant that this is an unlikely scenario Grin. You need to chill out OP and unclench those buttocks - you'll feel so much better for it!

Oh - and maybe, you know, because she was so very ancient - maybe she was in the grip of a hot flush and was rather enjoying the chillier weather?

VivaLeBeaver · 09/04/2012 08:42

I suppose so, I don't mind people posting trivial stuff as such, but it just seems such a daft thing to be so worked up about.

MrsKittyFane · 09/04/2012 08:44

Sounds hilarious!

Pineapple/sweat top/supadry girl's mum and Ugg boot/old woman eyeing each other up/ giving dirty looks at a NT property!

What were you wearing OP? Did you have your designer 'day in the country' clobber on too?

MrsKittyFane · 09/04/2012 08:51

Sorry: SuperDry not supadry.

A SuperDry is a cagoule windcheater or gilet?
I have a PeterStorm.

HandMadeTail · 09/04/2012 09:01

Loving those pineapple shoes. I have a pineapple in my fridge. Maybe I should get another and try it out. Grin

LittleEsmeWeatherwax · 09/04/2012 09:04

You sound no better, OP.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans · 09/04/2012 09:05

Just wanted to say this thread was totes worth it for the spectacle of Igor. I love him.
And he got thrown in jail because 'we don't wear high heels on the street in America.' Sad

MissMogwi · 09/04/2012 09:07

Loving the pineapple shoes. Made me snort my coffee. Grin

twofingerstoGideon · 09/04/2012 09:08

Oh Kitty,
SuperDry is a so-called 'designer' label that allows the gullible people to spend £49 on a very, very ordinary cotton/polyester hoodie, like this one: boring hoodie at greatly inflated price
They are very fashionable among young teens whose parents have more money than sense

BalloonSlayer · 09/04/2012 09:11

Good God maybe she was thinking, as I often do, "I really must look at what the young trendy beautiful girls wear because I don't want my DDs to be the ones who never have any fashionable clothes, like I was at their age."

Then looking your DD up and down and grimacing at the expense she could see in the future.

But it must have been traumatic for you.

Why don't you and your DDs comfort yourselves by sitting in front of some mirrors for a couple of hours and congratulating yourselves on your fashion sense.