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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be surprised that people are judged by the clothes they wear?

297 replies

JustGiveMeTheWine · 04/04/2012 08:34

Myself and DP went to do our weekly shop last night in the local supermarket.
We had both been to work then I went to the gym, he went running. By the time we finished it was getting quite late so decided to just go in our tracksuits then shower and change when we get back home.
We regularly shop in this supermarket so never gave it a moments thought until last night.
From the moment we walked in the security guard looked at us and got straight on his radio, then the whole time we were in there the staff seemed to be milling around us. Got to the checkout and the lady who served us didn't even speak until she wanted payment.
Then we went to the customer service desk (they had an offer on if you spend over a certain amount you can get disney cards for the little ones) only to be ignored! The lady actually looked at us then carried on talking to her mate!
By this time I was frothing at the mouth!

Did they think we were chav's intending to steal something just because we were wearing tracksuits???

OP posts:
IAmBooyhoo · 04/04/2012 23:15

i think you are misunderstandig what i mean when i say your clothes tell people things about you. for example, your awful work uniform wouldn't tell me what style of clothing ou like or where you shop but it would tell me that you are emploed and i'm guessing it would give me an idea of your job (nurse, bank staff, police officer etc). even uniforms tell people something about you.

scottishmummy · 04/04/2012 23:16

I don't believe anyone doesn't judge on clothing
also we chose how we look to project an image,now I accept body and self image is complex etc but nonetheless we chose our image

one also moderates clothing to occasion and circumstance and culture

usualsuspect · 04/04/2012 23:19

I think people do judge, I try not to though.

IAmBooyhoo · 04/04/2012 23:19

"IAmBooyhoo I absolutely agree. I wonder if I see the word 'judge' differently from others here. For me, to judge something is to size it up, not to condemn it. I can judge something as being to my liking! But I'm still judging it."

yes i think the word 'judge' (especially on MN Grin) has a negative association whereas for me, when i say i judge partly based on clothing it means i gain information from it and draw conclusions rather than making a negative judgement it can be as simple as "that man is a nurse" so neither a negative or positive judgement, jsut a judgement based on what i see.

scottishmummy · 04/04/2012 23:21

judge isn't necessarily negative,judge is an appraisal
I positively judge
I negatively judge
sometimes I'm non plussed

IAmBooyhoo · 04/04/2012 23:21

ok usual if you were walking down the main street in your town and an elderl woman approached you wearing her nightie, what would you think?

IAmBooyhoo · 04/04/2012 23:22

agreed SM.

pinkyp · 04/04/2012 23:23

Yabu to NOT expect it yeh, it's a shame it happens but I think you've contradicted yourself when using the word chav Wink

usualsuspect · 04/04/2012 23:24

I'm not talking about extremes, I'm talking about every day folk just dressing how they like.

I think its sad that you feel you have to dress to impress everyone else.

If people judge me , I don't care. I won't wear what I think I should just so people like me.

WhereYouLeftIt · 04/04/2012 23:27

Oh dear, we are very much in agreement here IAmBooyhoo ! This is MN, that will never do Grin. Most of us may not be in Sherlock Holmes' league, but we definitely draw information about someone from their appearance, and how they dress is quite a big part of that. And it all registers in a millisecond.

usualsuspect · 04/04/2012 23:30

It depends what you do with that judgment though. If it makes you have less respect for that person then that is your problem not theirs.

WhereYouLeftIt · 04/04/2012 23:36

Hmm. Is there a way of dressing would make me have less respect for someone? Yes, I can think of a few actually. I expect you can too usualsuspect.

IAmBooyhoo · 04/04/2012 23:37

dont you ever go to weddings/funerals/nice restaurants usual? dont you ever attend anthing that you dress 'up' for?

i dont think it's sad at all that i dress in order to impress other people. i am human and thus a social being, i gravitate towards people with shared interests and clothing is one way of letting people know whether i am the sort of person the think the might get along with. similarly, i use their clothing to decide if they might be someone i would have things in common with. it isn't a rule by which i live my life in that i have many friends who dont dress anything like me, but it is a guide.

IAmBooyhoo · 04/04/2012 23:39

i would lose respect immediately for someone i saw wearing a nazi swastika, or a rape joke on a t-shirt. i dont think that is a bad thing at all, i think that is my brain making pretty smart decisions.

usualsuspect · 04/04/2012 23:39

Nope I rarely dress up

WhereYouLeftIt · 04/04/2012 23:40

I'd definitely have very little respect for someone dressid in this.

IAmBooyhoo · 04/04/2012 23:41

rarely as opposed to never? on the occasions that you have dressed up, why did you dress up?

scottishmummy · 04/04/2012 23:41

I like having a choice of clothes appropriate to circumstance I am in
my work clothes
social clothes
in garden getting messy with kids clothes
out socially clothes
formal and occasion clothes

they all say something about me

usualsuspect · 04/04/2012 23:43

I wouldn't be friends with someone who judged me on my choice of clothing.

Dressing up to me is wearing a clean pair of jeans tbh

usualsuspect · 04/04/2012 23:47

The Op was talking about wearing a tracksuit, Would you have little respect for someone wearing a tracksuit?

scottishmummy · 04/04/2012 23:48

tosh.your mates have judged you,you've judged them
you're in lala land if you think not one pal ever commented or judged your attire

usualsuspect · 04/04/2012 23:49

Am I , I don't give a fuck what my mates wear .

garlicbutter · 04/04/2012 23:50

When H1 and I became well-off, we were painfully fashionable. You know, we owned designer stuffs and were friends with the designers ... and went around in baggy black tops, ripped jeans and DMs. If you knew your fashion you'd be able to tell the jeans had been customised by Paul Smith and the DMs were limited edition, but that's all part of it, innit Hmm

Anyway. So we bought a house, designerfied it very fashionably, and sallied forth to buy a designer sofa at a stratospheric price. Sofas not being our usual remit, we went to Posh Shops (rather than galleries and ateliers, darling). It was hilarious. The supercilious, pretentiously expert staff clearly weren't pretentious enough to discern our exquisite tastes. They saw a young couple in ripped jeans, sneered a bit and ignored us. We had to practically assault them to get service. When we chose a sofa, the jerk actually laughed when we said we'd take it. Changed his tune pretty fast.

We did go back to the same shops later, buffed, polished and wearing the showcase designer stuffs. This time the staff saw us our clothes coming and welcomed us at the door, all Sir and Ma'am. We wasted their time for a bit, then told them we weren't buying because they'd been so rude to us a few weeks ago.

There's no moral to this story except that it's a mistake to judge on outward appearances, especially if you're doing so pretentiously. As others have posted, the really really posh don't dress up; they've usually got fields to check and dogs all over the place, so wear old clothes that can stand the battering and keep out the cold.

usualsuspect · 04/04/2012 23:52

I got shooed of a thread in style and beauty for suggesting someone bought New Look jeans .

That made me laugh tbh though.

WhereYouLeftIt · 04/04/2012 23:54

Ah-ha! So your interested enough to go onto the style & beauty threads! Grin Wink

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