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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be surprised that people are judged by the clothes they wear?

297 replies

JustGiveMeTheWine · 04/04/2012 08:34

Myself and DP went to do our weekly shop last night in the local supermarket.
We had both been to work then I went to the gym, he went running. By the time we finished it was getting quite late so decided to just go in our tracksuits then shower and change when we get back home.
We regularly shop in this supermarket so never gave it a moments thought until last night.
From the moment we walked in the security guard looked at us and got straight on his radio, then the whole time we were in there the staff seemed to be milling around us. Got to the checkout and the lady who served us didn't even speak until she wanted payment.
Then we went to the customer service desk (they had an offer on if you spend over a certain amount you can get disney cards for the little ones) only to be ignored! The lady actually looked at us then carried on talking to her mate!
By this time I was frothing at the mouth!

Did they think we were chav's intending to steal something just because we were wearing tracksuits???

OP posts:
DoubleGlazing · 04/04/2012 20:13

Loving your posts, flipflop :)

usualsuspect · 04/04/2012 20:13

I didn't looking well groomed makes you look shallow. Can people not read?

Mind you theres a lot of that about on MN as well...

usualsuspect · 04/04/2012 20:14

say*

LeQueen · 04/04/2012 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

emsyj · 04/04/2012 20:18

I don't think it was anything you wrote that LeQueen was referring to usualsuspect... Take a closer look at page 6, there's quite a long post on there that I think is the culprit!

KalSkirata · 04/04/2012 20:22

I dont give a flying arse what people wear and rarely notice. But people do make assumptions based on your appearnce. I get people speaking loudly and slowly. Havent yet worked out if its because I'm dressed in muslim attire and they think I dont speak English or the wheelchair and therefore I must be slow.
People are weird about clothing.

WhereYouLeftIt · 04/04/2012 20:29

Of course I judge by the clothes people wear. For good reason. If they are wearing a uniform, then they are at work doing their job and any interaction with them is not personal - I judge them to be professional. If they are not wearing a uniform, then they have chosen their clothes personally and therefore how to present themselves to the world (i.e. how they want to be seen to be). Be it smart, casual, sub-group identifiable (e.g. Goth) or WAG-wannabe, the clothes they are wearing are an extension of themselves and how they see themselves/their place in the world. Why would I not listen to what they are trying to tell me?

KisMittz · 04/04/2012 21:11

I think the judgements and assumptions that are made about people who wear 'chavvy' clothes, or are perhaps poorly dressed, are actually less shocking than the lack of judgement of those who dress reasonable,and acceptably, and therefore have the 'acceptance' of society but commit, if not actual 'crimes', then certainly moral and ethical ones.

I used to dress loosely 'punky' and went into a stationers/art suppliers as I was working on a commission and needed some stuff. The owner, well suited and diving some 'status' vehicle, sneered at me and said he didn't think they would have the sort of thing I was looking for, and hovered near me whilst I was in the shop.
I have never so much as pinched a penny sweet.

At the time I worked for a very socially respected couple, who drove a Merc, had a London 'pad', bought their fashionably dressed DC's impressive cars....
The husband of the couple sexually harassed me for most of the 5 years I worked for them, the wife turned a blind eye or laughed it off.....

My Mum worked in a stately home Garden centre, and the majority of shop lifters were middle age, middle class customers who often wet themselves on being caught.

KisMittz · 04/04/2012 21:12

*bought

LisT · 04/04/2012 21:44

Hello, sadly someone will make a decision on you, your lifestyle, your personality and more in a 7 second period just by what you wear.
This is very sad but so true.
The reality is your clothes need to reflect your lifestyle & personality so if you've just come back from the gym then this is fine.
It's amazing though how clothes can maketh a woman

Want2bSupermum · 04/04/2012 21:51

Clothes do maketh the person. The same judgement is applied to men and women. I do think men have an easier time though.

Here in the US on the east coast, being presentable is very important. Business casual is a nightmare. I just wear a dress, jacket and make sure my shoes are polished. I would never dream of turning up without tights on, although a lot of my friends don't wear tights. Gym clothes are never seen in my office as we have clients coming and going.

What is interesting is that a senior manager here is about to make partner. In the past year he lost 40lbs. Looking up at this, I am junior to him, the two are related and lots of others in the office think so too as those who work around him are now on diets trying to lose weight.

PooshTun · 04/04/2012 21:59

OP- Do you delight in being a victim or is your supermarket really that posh? :o

At any point my local is full of office workers, mums in sweat pants and Uggs, labourers, students, white, blacks, Asians etc. So its a bit ridiculous to suggest that supermarket staff looked down on you because of your gym gear.

IAmBooyhoo · 04/04/2012 22:11

"You are naive if you think what people wear and how they physically present themselves reveals a true reflection of their personality and what they are like"

i dont think anyone has said that.

people have said that clothes say something about the wearer. they tell you what the wearer wants you to think about them.

hmc · 04/04/2012 22:19

Op - I believe that people shouldn't judge others on their appearance but regretfully the human race are a constant source of disappointment. They display a sheep like inability to think for themselves and a stultifying tendency to conform. For many people tracksuits = criminal inbred. You have to laugh really

bejeezus · 04/04/2012 22:22

I don't think clothes tell you what the wearer wants to tell you about themselves/ I don't think they are an extension of oneself.

People dress appropriately for work

Some people or interested in fashion or prefer a certain style or look; it may be more true for those people

DoubleGlazing · 04/04/2012 22:24

I don't "choose how to present myself to the world". I'm not a performer in a TV reality show. I choose clothes that are comfortable and that I like :)

bejeezus · 04/04/2012 22:28

Didn't finish....

I can honestly say I am not trying to send subliminal messages about myselves through my clothes- I choose colours/patterns that I like and clothes that fit. Have little interest beyond that apart from price. Will pay more for technical clothes for there functionality

I'm a little bit with flip-flop; I rarely notice what people wear. Might do if it was really inappropriate. Not denying a degree of subconscious noticing. But I think for those of us less interested in clothes ourselves-they hold less meaning

scottishmummy · 04/04/2012 22:28

no.the clothes you chose are statement items,whether or not you acknowledge that

simply by choosing colour, texture,textile. you've already chosen how you want to be perceived.by selecting one item in preference to another

IAmBooyhoo · 04/04/2012 22:35

"People dress appropriately for work"

and so their clothes will give you an indication of what they work at, therefore telling you something about them.

bejeezus · 04/04/2012 22:37

I don't care enough what people think about me, to choose clothes to influence their perception of me

I choose clothes because I like them or because they are fit for purpose

scottishmummy · 04/04/2012 22:37

yes my work attire isn't my social attire
I dress appropriate to my job

IAmBooyhoo · 04/04/2012 22:37

"I choose colours/patterns that I like and clothes that fit. Have little interest beyond that apart from price. Will pay more for technical clothes for there functionality"

so you dont consider at all how an item will look once on you?

IAmBooyhoo · 04/04/2012 22:39

also, do ou never choose items because they will go with something you already own or intend to buy?

DoubleGlazing · 04/04/2012 22:39

Not everyone is thinking of how the world sees them when they choose their clothes, so they're not making a "statement".

Some people are just happy to go about their own business without any need to "state" anything to other people.

If some observers try to invent a "statement" being made, then that comes entirely from them, not the person they're observing.

IAmBooyhoo · 04/04/2012 22:42

your clothes are making a statement about you whether you chose them or just threw on the first thing you could find in the morning. at the very very least they are letting people know that you either give a damn or dont. people get an impression of you from what ou wear and they make a judgement, as in, "she just threw on the first thing that came to hand"

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