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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to go mad at this dad who is about to drop my daughter off - need quick responces

120 replies

batsaboutbats · 03/04/2012 14:24

My dd best friend at school has the 2 slackest parents NEVER see the mother not even sports day etc and the dad is ok.
Anyway I do alot of running around with best friend and really go out of my way taking her to activities etc (really for the girls sake not for the parents!)
Anyway I just found out a couple of days ago from dd that when the dad recently took both girls to the cinema he just left them - they are 7!!
I told my DH to deal with it (they are sort of friends/aqaintences)
Anyway both dads just dropped girls at brownies and dh spoke to the dad who said he waited outside and read his book but was there.
I am not sure this is true but even if it is I think really he should be in the actual cinema with them as you never know who's about?
AIBU??
now the dad is heading over with my dd from brownies so what shall I say to him?
Knew my bloody dh would cock it up!!

OP posts:

PigeonPair · 03/04/2012 15:18

It wouldn't even enter my head that someone would leave two 7 year-olds in the cinema alone so I don't blame you for not checking with him first and anyway, I secretly quite enjoyed Chipwrecked!

piratecat · 03/04/2012 15:18

yanbu, he might like to leave his own kid, but he isn't supposed to leave someone elses kid at the cinema.

saying that, i wonder if he has ever left his own kid at the cinema. it's not about child abusers either, it's about the welfare of the kids. what if they needed help, got ill or whatever.

i would tell my dh to reiterate it isn't on.

piratecat · 03/04/2012 15:19

i would be pissed off at the mother too, if you mean op, you seem to be doing all the running around for the two kids, and she does jack.

OrmIrian · 03/04/2012 15:19

I wouldn't have minded for my DC when they were that age, but I'd always check with the parent of the other child first. And I would be waiting outside.

crunchbag · 03/04/2012 15:19

What time was the film? Here they have special kids sessions in the morning and you hardly see any parents inside the theatre, they wait outside or go for a drink or shopping.

No need to go mad, just explain to him that you are not happy with your dd being unsupervised and to check with you beforehand next time.

scottishmummy · 03/04/2012 15:19

I've never been to sports day or trips
never at school gates either
and hey I don't care
but gives the wags something to bump gums about other than kumon their kids attend

piratecat · 03/04/2012 15:20

op said 'never' see's her at sports day, not she couldn't make it a few times. why do people take offence, jeez she's not talking about anyone in particular who couldn't make it this year cos they couldn't get there.

scottishmummy · 03/04/2012 15:24

no but it's a cliched housewife dig
why have em if can't be at every precious moment sport day etc
interestingly these mums must see each other socially if dd best pals.wonder if op is so frank then?

MickyDodger · 03/04/2012 15:25

Of course you were judging them, cop yourself on. Although you said the child has the 2 slackest parents ever (what exactly does that mean?) you said the dad was ok and reserved your real barbs for the mother. No shock there.

takingiteasy · 03/04/2012 15:29

If they are so slack why entrust your DD with them in the first place?

Anyway, I wouldn't do it as my son would run riot and annoy the crap out of others.

TotemPole · 03/04/2012 15:34

The dad should have mentioned it to you first. But if they're well behaved usually then I don't think it's such a big deal leaving them.

tinkertitonk · 03/04/2012 17:38

I thought the whole point of cinemas is that they are places where you can leave brats DCs and they are being babysat/supervised by the enormous glowing rectangular screen.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 03/04/2012 17:47

I make OH take the DCs to the cinema.

Not only can he sit through that old crap, he actually likes it

I think leaving them (whilst being close by) is a good way of starting the process of independence.
A gentle introduction. With groud rules etc.

Buggering off without discussing it, thats a bit different.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 03/04/2012 17:55

I would accompany seven-year-olds into the screening, but for the sake of other cinemagoers rather than out of fears for their safety.

manicbmc · 03/04/2012 18:02

Just jumping in without reading back - most cinemas have a policy of all children under 12 being accompanied and I would take that to mean in the actual cinema, not sitting outside with a book.

I think it's pretty shoddy.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 03/04/2012 18:06

We always went in the cinema on our own, my mom and other parent would wait outside having a coffee and chat. We were playing out from about 4-5 though so perhaps we were more prepared? I am only 28 so not a million years ago, and things are the same around here now, kids playing out from year 1 unsupervised. I do think i live in a bloody timewarp sometimes though...cant tell with the fashion being what it is at the moment

TheLastHappyHop · 03/04/2012 18:25

Okay, so the dad left your dd and friend alone in the cinema. They're 7 and you aren't happy about it. I understand that. Whether or not they were fine, or what other parents do/did as children isn't relevant. Most parents know that it's a grey area, so the other dad should have checked with you.

But that is nothing to do with their family arrangements, and it's very bad form to have dragged your judgement about that into your OP.

gobbledegook1 · 03/04/2012 18:52

I wouldn't leave two 7 year olds alone in the cinema (especially boys) but thats because I'd be worried about them not behaving and ruining it for others more than about anything happening to them.

I'd put it down to experience and if he offers to take them out again remember to check details and ask if they will be supervised before agreeing.

carabos · 03/04/2012 19:59

I not only missed school sports days, but took a book to nativity so that I could sit at the back, wave so DCs could see me watching at the crucial moments and then get on with something more interesting. One of the other mothers reported me to the HT for doing that. Another chased my car approached me at pick up time one day screeching "ooh we don't see much of you".

My name is Carabos and I'm a bad mother (apparently).

ABatInBunkFive · 03/04/2012 20:04

Reported you to the head?!

What did they say?

Vickles · 03/04/2012 20:08

Complete twat for leaving two 7 year old girls in the cinema! I would have - and would still go mad at someone for doing that.

Shame your post has been taken over about mums at sports day etc.... I can see it was a total oversight, in your rush to type you post - to get a quick response.

The OP has retracted what she said and apologised... so can we just comment about the fact that her 7 year old daughter was left unsupervised!!!! Per..lease!

EightiesChick · 03/04/2012 20:22

YANBU on the basis of leaving someone else's 7 yo unsupervised. Agree with poster who said always take the cautious route with other people's kids.

carabou I am pretty at the notion that you read your book through a nativity play because it would be too boring to watch. Would it have been the worst thing in the world to put up with slight boredom for a short time? They only last about 30 mins: how do you cope when your work day gets boring, dig out a book? Or would you make the effort to just put up with being bored for half an hour for your job's sake but not where your kids are concerned?

carabos · 03/04/2012 20:24

abat the head came over and said "I suggest you put your book inside the cover of a bible in future". .

hathorinareddress · 03/04/2012 20:25

I would love to go to a nativity play that last only 30 minutes ....

carabos · 03/04/2012 20:26

eightieschick as I said, I paid attention at the crucial moments i.e. when my DC was doing something and made sure he saw me paying attention. Nothing else matters.

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