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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be freaked out that mil 2 b has...

84 replies

princessblods · 02/04/2012 10:51

bought a dress that looks like the btidesmaid dress my sister is wearing for my wedding?

its a strapless long floaty purple dress. I've had to change the purple colour I wanted as my theme because of this!!

The day we booked the date of the wedding and the venue she went out and bought her entire outfit the next day!!

OP posts:

HeartsJandJ · 02/04/2012 10:52

Maybe a compliment to you - trying to make an effort to fit in with your colour scheme? She sounds quite nice tbh and excited about the whole thing.

scuzy · 02/04/2012 10:54

first of all just because she bought her outfit next day means nothing. she is probably excited and had her eye on it.

next did she know what your bridesmaids dresses looked like? if she did then i'd be annoyed but if not, how was she to know!!!!

laughlovelife · 02/04/2012 10:54

surely your MIL purchased the dress before you purchased the bridesmaid dress?

I dont see whats wrong with her buying her outfit the next day tbh.

HerrenatheHHHarridan · 02/04/2012 10:57

Umm, I wouldn't think it would merit a freak-out! You may be suffering from wedding stress here:)

She might just want people to know that she's part of the wedding party (i.e. direct relation of bride/groom) and so has chosen similar colours to the bridesmaid dress on purpose IYSWIM. Why don't you compliment the dress and ask about the colour choice then?

As for her buying everything the next day - that would surprise me a bit admittedly! She just sounds excited though. My mum was similar with my wedding... I'd grin and bear it if I were you.

emsyj · 02/04/2012 10:58

It's nice that she is enthusiastic about the wedding - she is obviously happy about the marriage.

pictish · 02/04/2012 10:59

Deep breaths Bridezilla - deeeep breathssss.....

It's all fine and will be ok.

Ephiny · 02/04/2012 10:59

I don't understand why you have to change your 'theme' .

She does sound a bit OTT about the whole thing, but don't over-react!

Gemtubbs · 02/04/2012 10:59

don't worry about it, it's just a dress and it doesn't really matter in the scheme of things. I'm sure that you'll enjoy your special day and it won't matter what colour the dresses are. Congratulations. :)

laughlovelife · 02/04/2012 11:02

I'm confused, did you buy your bridesmaid dresses, before you booked the venue, did you speak to her about the colour choice, my mil and mum wore the same colour as my bridesmaids dresses, it was no big deal.

why have you had to change the theme, I am sure more people will be wearing purple or a variation of purple.

Hassled · 02/04/2012 11:03

Surely if the theme colour is purple and MIL is in purple then that's fine?

SuePurblybilt · 02/04/2012 11:09

I am more at the MIL wearing a strapless long dress to the wedding. Is it a floaty sundress type, or a cocktail number? Either way, what an odd choice (and shoulders in church ? Or is it Registry Office?)

Whatever happened to the MOB/MIL in a prawn-coloured dress'n'jacket combo, like the Queen Mum?

Ephiny · 02/04/2012 11:11

Strapless long dress does seem an odd choice for a wedding guest, is there some bridal/bridesmaid fantasy going on there maybe? :)

Seriously though I wouldn't worry about it, she can (and will) wear what she wants, it needn't affect anyone else.

Dustinthewind · 02/04/2012 11:13

'Whatever happened to the MOB/MIL in a prawn-coloured dress'n'jacket combo, like the Queen Mum?'

She went to the gym, bought all the right creams and gels and got her highlights done.
What sort of 1950s hell are you fantasising about?

SuePurblybilt · 02/04/2012 11:16

1950s is not hell to me

I may have been slightly joking about the MIL outfit. But still, a strapless maxi?
Is she going to insist on singing, too?

IAmBooyhoo · 02/04/2012 11:18

well i might be a lone voice here but i do know a woman who bought a dress exactly the same colour and similar floor length 'formal' style as her DD's bridesmaids were wearing and it was ridiculous looking. it was very obvious that she wanted to be 'on the wedding' and she was in every single one of the photos that were supposed to be just of the bride and bridesmaids or the bridesmaids and groomsmen. i would be freaked out of if my mum did that. she wouldn't, she would have a bit of respect for her DD's choice in bridesmaid and wouldn't do anything to detract attention from them.

squeakytoy · 02/04/2012 11:19

I was 40 when I became a MIL... I was hardly going to wear twin set and pearls to the wedding!

Salmotrutta · 02/04/2012 11:21

"prawn coloured dress'n'jacket combo" - hahahahaha!

There is a shop in a town not far from here that sells just that sort of outfit.

I went in there for a laugh when I was choosing an outfit for my DDs wedding.

I left in a hurry due to the scary woman who descended on me (and my sniggering friends who helped me choose "the outfit") with her eyes gleaming.

laughlovelife · 02/04/2012 11:22

"Either way, what an odd choice (*and shoulders in church ? Or is it Registry Office?")

Really, I had shoulders in church and I was the bride, as did my bridesmaids.

Long floaty dresses are fine also, especially now that maxi dresses, and long skirted skirts are all in high fashion.

YonWhaleFish · 02/04/2012 11:22

YABU and pathetic. She is your MIL, whatever makes her happy should be fine, my MIL wore blue to mine and all my bridesmaids were wearing blue too. Didn't bother me at all.

The point of your wedding is you are marrying your DF, not that your MIL might be wearing a similar-in-style-dress to your BM.

DogEared · 02/04/2012 11:25

Don't be ridiculous OP. Is it about dresses, or is it about making a commitment to her son?

IAmBooyhoo · 02/04/2012 11:27

"The point of your wedding is you are marrying your DF, not that your MIL might be wearing a similar-in-style-dress to your BM."

weddings mean different things to different people. for me it would be all about the dresses so it would piss me off that someone else thought they could copy the look and hope to be mistaken for a BM. in fact i have now decided that if i ever get married, only the BMs will know what colour and style they are wearing and i'll swear them to secrecy. call me bridezilla if you wish.

NarkedPuffin · 02/04/2012 11:29

I wouldn't be freaked out.

Her buying an outfit the day after you set the date just says to me that she's had her eye on something and, once she knew it was on for certain, she went and bought it.

If she knew your chosen colour and went and bought something the same colour that is a bit , but not the end of the world. She's going to be at least 20 years older than the bridesmaids, yes? If she dresses like them it will accentuate the age gap, and the only one who will look foolish is her.

BusinessTrills · 02/04/2012 11:30

You've had to change your theme?

Er, no you haven't had to, you've decided to.

YonWhaleFish · 02/04/2012 11:30

IAmBooyHoo

Bridezilla!

If she dresses like them it will accentuate the age gap, and the only one who will look foolish is her.

That's quite mean, no wonder there are so many "I hate my MIL" threads if you're all this mean!

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 02/04/2012 11:32

Who cares what she is wearing...all eyes will be on you so dont worry about it!

Seriously...deep breathe and chill!!

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