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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be freaked out that mil 2 b has...

84 replies

princessblods · 02/04/2012 10:51

bought a dress that looks like the btidesmaid dress my sister is wearing for my wedding?

its a strapless long floaty purple dress. I've had to change the purple colour I wanted as my theme because of this!!

The day we booked the date of the wedding and the venue she went out and bought her entire outfit the next day!!

OP posts:

Pandemoniaa · 02/04/2012 12:49

I think you need to send out some strict instructions to your guests after this devistating ruination of your theme.

Make sure that they send detailed pictures of precisely what they intend wearing - several months in advance is useful - if necessary they must supply fabric swatches. Then you can disinvite anyone who may have chosen to wreck your wedding by wearing any colour that might feature, anywhere, at the wedding. This includes the carpets and curtains at the venue. Anyone failing to comply will be automatically disinvited.

If your MIL insists on wearing this dress, ensure that she is hidden behind a large floral arrangement. But not one containing purple of course. Otherwise people will think she's anything at all to do with this wedding...

ChaoticAngel · 02/04/2012 12:52

I already said it was the most important thing, but for some other things are important too. My bridesmaid will be important to me and that is one thing I will insist on so if that makes me bridezilla then so be it

Wrt the OP maybe she's worried that her MIL2B will "suggest" being a bridesmaid...after all she's already got the dress I suppose it will all depends on MIL2B's behaviour in the wedding planning stage. The dress may be a coincidence, then again it may just be the start of MIL2Bzilla behaviour.

OP give your MIL the benefit of the doubt, her intentions may have been good.

I don't watch those programs, although have seen 4 weddings a few times. From what I've heard here, maybe I should

IAmBooyhoo · 02/04/2012 12:53

what is it with everyone using the term 'paddies' today? it is offensive to irish people.

Hoebag · 02/04/2012 12:53

maybe shes trying to fit into your colour scheme?

Pandemoniaa · 02/04/2012 12:55

Eh? I'm Irish and yes, I'd take exception at being called a Paddy by the English but it's never occurred to me to take offence in the entirely different context of a temper tantrum being referred to as a paddy.

LittleAlbert · 02/04/2012 12:57

I read these threads and I am soooooglad DP and I never got married.

YonWhaleFish · 02/04/2012 12:59

I live with an Irish girl and she's never taken offence to me using the term paddy to refer to a temper tantrum.

LittleAlbert · 02/04/2012 12:59

And this is the first I have heard of having to have a 'theme' -do you mean a 'colour scheme?'

GrahamTribe · 02/04/2012 13:04

IamBooyHoo.

duckdodgers · 02/04/2012 13:04

Good point Littlealbert - a theme could be a Wizard of Oz wedding where everyone dresses up as charatcers fropm the film, not just a colour.

piratecat · 02/04/2012 13:05

speaking of prawn outfits, check out Sherrie Hewson on Loose women now.

IAmBooyhoo · 02/04/2012 13:05

it doesn't really matter that some irish people aren't offended by the term. some are so it shouldn't be used. the term 'having a paddy' is a reference to the stereotype that irish people (paddys ) are short tempered/hot heads.

YonWhaleFish · 02/04/2012 13:06

Little albert there are such things as themed weddings! "Winter wonderland" is one I've come across!

YonWhaleFish · 02/04/2012 13:08

Paddy paddy PADDY! ffs

GrahamTribe · 02/04/2012 13:11

"it doesn't really matter that some irish people aren't offended by the term. some are so it shouldn't be used. the term 'having a paddy' is a reference to the stereotype that irish people (paddys ) are short tempered/hot heads."

But some are so it can be argued that it should be used. I use the term, rarely, but I do. I won't be refraining from it. Back to the OP, who has posted and run, might this thread be in response to this one, just to see how different the replies are?

IAmBooyhoo · 02/04/2012 13:11

are you serious? someone has told you they find a phrase you have used to be offensive and your response is to shout it back at them? are you 12? why is racism against irish people a laughing matter?

YonWhaleFish · 02/04/2012 13:13

Yep, massive racist that's 12 and havin' a paddy.

OnTheBottomWithAWomansWeekly · 02/04/2012 13:13

Actually I'm Irish and never thought the phrase referred to the Irish at all (but I didn't know where it originated)

Have just googled and found " Having a paddy is derived from a rice paddy and means having a bad mood or a tantrum. It is a phrase relating to the forces and perhaps to them having been stuck in a rice paddy "

However the logic about Irish people being short tempered is perhaps correct - the common stereotype is that the Irish are redheads and that redheads have short tempers?

IAmBooyhoo · 02/04/2012 13:15

onthebottom if you googled you will also have found explanations that say this phrase comes from the idea that irish people are short tempered.

JustHecate · 02/04/2012 13:17

did it matter what she wore?

So she coordinated with the bridesmaids. And? I don't understand why that affects your wedding.

You had to change the colours of the wedding because your mil had bought an outfit that matched. [boggle]

What will you do if guests turn up on the day in outfits that match the colour scheme or the bridesmaids dresses? Turn them away at the door?

I honestly don't see how her choice of dress, whether she bought it knowing it matched or not, is a bad thing for the wedding. I don't get it.

Original poster

princessblods · 02/04/2012 15:02

Ah points duly taken ladies. I guess I am being a tad unreasonable. just wedding stress I guess and my mum.breaking out about it too xx

OP posts:

OriginalJamie · 02/04/2012 15:44

Not many people look any good in a strapless dress, IMO

Original poster

princessblods · 02/04/2012 17:45

I had told mil2b months in advance what style dress I wanted for my sister including colour.

I just thought it wad a bit odd that a woman of 50+ would wear something that imo a woman in her 20's would wear. The dress is almost identical to my sisters dress. I've been told by df not to say anything and that she can wear what she wants!!

OP posts:

ujjayi · 02/04/2012 18:00

Actually, out of kindness and the hope of a good relationship with MIL, I would bring it up with her. As others have said - comparisons will be made and she will be laughed at behind her back or teased openly. Personally, I would speak with her and let her know your concerns in a kind, non-Bridezilla way . Let's face it, there is something unsettling about attending an event to which someone else is wearing "your" dress! It's the reason I rarely shop on the high street for anything for events like this (unless it is very plain and I can put my own stamp on it with accessories etc).

TBH, I would feel a bit about her having the same/almost identical dress too but equally I couldn't bear for her to be made fun of either.

LovesBeingWearingSkinnyJeans · 02/04/2012 18:04

Because, and this might shock you, she can wear what she wants

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