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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be freaked out that mil 2 b has...

84 replies

princessblods · 02/04/2012 10:51

bought a dress that looks like the btidesmaid dress my sister is wearing for my wedding?

its a strapless long floaty purple dress. I've had to change the purple colour I wanted as my theme because of this!!

The day we booked the date of the wedding and the venue she went out and bought her entire outfit the next day!!

OP posts:

YonWhaleFish · 02/04/2012 11:32

weddings mean different things to different people

On a serious note, I do think there's a problem if the dresses are more important than marrying your fiancee

IAmBooyhoo · 02/04/2012 11:34

it's does look foolish though. i've seen it and it looks ridiculous. people were asking the mother of the bride if she was a bridesmaid aswell and she was grinning stupidly saying no she was MOTB but clearly enjoying the attention. i felt so sorry for the bride. it probably would have been too hard for her to tell her mum to wise the fuck up and choose a different dress.

NarkedPuffin · 02/04/2012 11:36

It might be mean, but it's true! If you try to match the colour and cut of the bridesmaids' dresses you are going to be compared.

YonWhaleFish · 02/04/2012 11:37

If you think your mum/mil looks silly, surely it's kinder to tell her than let her make a fool of herself, that's why it's mean to say "oh it doesn't matter as she'll look stupid and everyone will know it".

IAmBooyhoo · 02/04/2012 11:38

well if i was marrying someone i would be pretty damn sure we were already commited to each other anyway so the wedding itself would be a formality rather than the actual making of a commitment so yes, it would really be a chance for me to wear a lovely dress and have all my friends at a party that was just for me (and my DF of course).

this is all hypothetical of course because as of yet, nobody has declared their intentions to marry me. i wonder why?

NarkedPuffin · 02/04/2012 11:39

That's not anti MIL either. When two women turn up to a wedding/party wearing the same dress they are going to be compared.

NarkedPuffin · 02/04/2012 11:42

But then people would say that the bride was being Bridezilla by trying to dictate what her MIL wears and throwing out examples of svelte 42 year old MILs who would look lovely etc etc And most women would not take kindly to their DIL-to-be/DD telling them they would look 'silly' in their chosen dress!

NarkedPuffin · 02/04/2012 11:44

It's pretty common sense not to dress like a bridesmaid isn't it? Particularly when you're in the wedding party and can find out in advance what they'll be wearing?

HeartsJandJ · 02/04/2012 11:47

Yeah but purple? Come on, it's hardly a customised Liberty print is it? Half the guests will be in some lilac monstrosity.

IAmBooyhoo · 02/04/2012 11:47

i agree narked. i would think it was purposely attention seeking/limelight stealing for any guest or wedding party member to dress in a similar style to the bride or bridesmaids.

duckdodgers · 02/04/2012 11:50

Well if Ive picked this up right - your MIL to be chose her purple dress first, and you want purple for your BM? Whats the big deal??

NarkedPuffin · 02/04/2012 11:50

The colour is unfortunate and might be accidental. Picking the same style is something I'd imagine most mothers and MILs would take pains to avoid.

AWomanCalledHorse · 02/04/2012 11:52

Maybe she bought her outfit so quickly because she's excited her son is getting married??

MY theme, So DP doesn't care or doesn't get a look in?

IAmBooyhoo · 02/04/2012 11:54

some DPs dont care about themes and colours TBF.

NarkedPuffin · 02/04/2012 11:56

At the idea of most DHs-to-be involving themselves with the colour theme.

chunkythighs · 02/04/2012 11:56

lol op-if this is causing you to freak out then you are in for a world of pain. Do you really think that your mil could be mistaken for a bridesmaid? Is your mil a desparate housewife of Beverly hills?

tip-stop telling people about your wedding plans, most don't care and the rest can't interfere.

OhdearNigel · 02/04/2012 11:57

Jeez, Bridezilla much ?

Kennyp · 02/04/2012 11:59

My aunt dresses like a burlesque dancer most of the time, i could hire her out to you fir your wedding to redress (boom boom) the balance.

Sounds like quite a non mother of the groom dress. Having said that, my mil wore white.

OhdearNigel · 02/04/2012 11:59

*I've had to change the purple colour I wanted as my theme because of this!!
*

Does it occur to you that maybe, just maybe, she was trying to be helpful and go with this theme ?????

Chrysanthemum5 · 02/04/2012 12:04

Isn't it quite normal for the two mums to wear clothes in toning colours to the theme? When my nephew got married my sister and his fiancee's mum both wore shades of blue.

I think you're over-reacting to the colour. Although I don't really like the sound of a strapless purple maxi dress!

ChaoticAngel · 02/04/2012 12:08

Yet again we have the 'surely the important thing is that you're getting married to your dp and not....'. Yes, the most important thing is the vows but that doesn't mean that other parts of the wedding can't be important.

If I ever get married, which is about as likely as Booyhoo atm, my bridesmaids would be important to me, as would my dress be as I want to look good on my wedding day.

Wrt the OP the MIL wearing purple shouldn't be a problem but wearing something that closely resembles a bm's dress will have people judging her.

toofattorun · 02/04/2012 12:12

I thought you were going to say that she's bought a long ivory lace dress and a tiara! Chillax! It could be a lot worse! Now go find something else to be a bridezilla over...

YonWhaleFish · 02/04/2012 12:41

Yet again we have the 'surely the important thing is that you're getting married to your dp and not....'.

Yep. As someone who has recently gotten married, this is the most important part. Whinging about a dress isn't.

Don't you notice on those don't tell the bride programmes that all the way through they whinge and have paddies in case DF chooses red for a BM dress, and then he does, but it doesn't matter as the day was so perfect anyway? (actual episode!)

GrahamTribe · 02/04/2012 12:46

It's a thread about a thread, isn't it? Nice one OP. :)

VikingVagine · 02/04/2012 12:49

My MIL wore leggings and a baggy jumper to my wedding, count your blessings!

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