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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Nigel loves gay packy's" [sic]

105 replies

Cheaplamp · 01/04/2012 20:51

is scrawled on the floor of our spare bedroom. In big letters.

We're having a lot of building work done following a big insurance claim and have moved out. It's all been handled by our insurer - we haven't appointed the builders - and we know who the main contractor is but not their subcons. My friend thinks I should contact the police about it as it's racism. We are a mixed race family incidentally but none of us know a Nigel!

AIBU to speak to the police and have it recorded in some way, or just ignore and move on? We can't prove who did it - but we certainly didn't!

OP posts:
Original poster
Cheaplamp · 01/04/2012 20:53

sorry, meant to say both racist AND homophobic. All in one sentence. With poor punctuation. Angry

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 01/04/2012 20:55

Could it have been there before they started work? Like under the carpet or something?

ThatGhastlyWoman · 01/04/2012 20:56

I would write a letter of complaint to the contractor, copying in the insurance company who awarded them the contract, complete with a photograph. Make it clear that you expect a reply.

cronsilksilt · 01/04/2012 20:56

are you sure the builders did it? That's awful.

Seabright · 01/04/2012 20:58

I think I probably would let the police know. They may to be able to do anything about your case, but maybe they have other cases that it would tie in with?

HalfPastWine · 01/04/2012 21:02

I would definitely inform the insurance company and also the head office of the contracting firm.

On a similar theme, I saw a porn mag on the dashboard of a contractors vehicle the other day. Some rather interesting pictures were being displayed through the window screen. I made a mental note of the company name to call them later but had totally forgotten it by the time I'd had chance to call them. Wish I'd made a written note now!

Original poster
Cheaplamp · 01/04/2012 21:04

We had new carpets in 2008 and it definately wasn't there then, so unless the carpet fitter scribbled it moments before they laid the carpets, it has to be one of the builders.

We've complained to the main contractor and our Personal Claims Advisor at the insurance company, about this and other stuff - builders not turning up, not giving us info on what's being done when etc etc. We've had an awful time and (I'm totally outing myself here) ALL of the work being done now, is the result of a claim in 2008, which was so badly rebuilt that EVERYTHING is being done again, at our insurer's expense, by a different builder to last time. We're utterly hacked off and this is just another thing to take to our solicitor. But it hadn't occurred to me to call the police, yet perhaps I should.

OP posts:
Pendeen · 01/04/2012 21:14

Racism in itself isn't a crime so what would the police be able to do?

Original poster
Cheaplamp · 01/04/2012 21:17

I don't know, Pendeen, other than log it. But surely scrawling racist and homophobic stuff - or even abstract scrawling - on someone's bedroom floor IS a crime isn't it?

OP posts:
Pendeen · 01/04/2012 21:19

Criminal damage perhaps?

smoggii · 01/04/2012 21:24

That is disgusting. I would report it to the police as it is people in a position of trust in your home and could potentially be perceived as threatening. If 'Nigel' is one of the builders it could have been written by another builder and be reference to the fact that the family is of mixed heritage.

If this is not the motivation thent the person needs to explain what was to the police.

MixedClassBaby · 01/04/2012 21:27

This is a crime if offence has been taken, Pendeen, even if the perpetrator didn't intend to cause offence. I think you're right to complain to the main contractor, OP.

Pendeen · 01/04/2012 21:41

"... This is a crime if offence has been taken Pendeen, even if the perpetrator didn't intend to cause offence ..."

You are not being serious? It is a crime to offend someone?

Clearly, MN needs to be shut down immediately.

ComposHat · 01/04/2012 21:51

I think you'll have to let it go, horrible as it is. Having complained to the insurance company, that is probably about the limited of what they can do.

It seems like an idiotic, infantile 'joke' but proving who did it will be nigh on impossible, I imagine all the sub contractors will deny having anything to do with it.

It does seem a spectacularly shitty thing to do.

AgentZigzag · 01/04/2012 21:54

I'm sure the police are only sat around eating doughnuts waiting for the OP to ring eh Pendeen?

DH worked in contracting and reckons it would be something some builders might do, especially if they thought would see, although that doesn't apply to this one.

Original poster
Cheaplamp · 01/04/2012 22:00

I'm offended. Fact.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cheaplamp · 01/04/2012 22:04

ComposHat, that's what we thought - loads of subcons, day rate labourers etc, so impossible to prove. But it's horrible, and I can't decide whether to talk to the police or not. I might ring for an informal chat and see what they say.
I'd like the bloody insurance company to sort out its contractors and send us a nice cheque so we can get over how horrible this all is.

OP posts:
TattyDevine · 01/04/2012 22:08

I am seriously offended that someone could call their son "Nigel"...

Rhinosaurus · 01/04/2012 22:08

How horrible. Did you take some photographs as evidence to send the insurers with veiled threats of sending them to the press?

Doing this in your home must have some sort of legal retribution, particularly with the racist, if badly spelt, nature of the act.

Original poster
Cheaplamp · 01/04/2012 22:11

Yep, got the photos. Grin

OP posts:
SmallC · 01/04/2012 22:12

Are you living in the house at the moment? Could it have been broken into or left unsecure by the builders?

winetime · 01/04/2012 22:14

Lots of people are called Nigel so you are seriously offended by lots of people TattyDevine!

Just take some photos Cheaplamp but I am sure it is not against you.. Just some arse messing around either recently or many years ago

MixedClassBaby · 01/04/2012 22:16

Pendeen. If a comment's racially/homophobically motivated then, yes, that's how the law stands. It's a crime if offence has been taken and it is reported. I can't see why that's so ridiculous.

lovebunny · 01/04/2012 22:19

complain to the insurers and inform your local community police officer.

if nothing else, we need to track down the culprit so he can have spelling lessons.

Spuddybean · 01/04/2012 22:20

This kind of thing is surprising but not unusual. When i worked recruiting nurses and midwives, the uni had work going on. The contractors used my storage room to have tea and listen to the radio. I had no problem with that apart from when they had left and i went in to get stuff there was loads of porn mags and someone had written racist bile, swastikas and 'NF' all over my promotional literature (presumably because the pictures showed non white people).

We let the company know but i am unsure whether anything was done.