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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Nigel loves gay packy's" [sic]

105 replies

Cheaplamp · 01/04/2012 20:51

is scrawled on the floor of our spare bedroom. In big letters.

We're having a lot of building work done following a big insurance claim and have moved out. It's all been handled by our insurer - we haven't appointed the builders - and we know who the main contractor is but not their subcons. My friend thinks I should contact the police about it as it's racism. We are a mixed race family incidentally but none of us know a Nigel!

AIBU to speak to the police and have it recorded in some way, or just ignore and move on? We can't prove who did it - but we certainly didn't!

OP posts:
Original poster
Cheaplamp · 02/04/2012 12:08

So British Asians (which we are) shouldn't complain/log racism scrawled on the inside of our home, by people who are being paid to be there? Really? Why is that?

OP posts:
Original poster
Cheaplamp · 02/04/2012 12:09

The police didn't think it was a waste of time by the way. Far from it.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 02/04/2012 12:11

Unless you were supervising your previous carpet fitters then it is just as likely that it could have been done by them.

We had new carpets in 2008 and it definately wasn't there then, so unless the carpet fitter scribbled it moments before they laid the carpets, it has to be one of the builders

MrsMicawber · 02/04/2012 12:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Cheaplamp · 02/04/2012 12:15

Less likely as apparently these are messages that are left by builders for each other. The carpet fitters were a small family firm and were in and out in one day. They're being contacted too though.

Even though catching someone is unlikely, as the pc said, it's also about recording the events that happen and perhaps a shot across the bows from the police to the builders might make them think twice about such moronic behaviour.

OP posts:
LesAnimaux · 02/04/2012 12:15

This is the kind of thing teenagers did in the '70's as a joke. Hmm

It could be worse, Nigel could hate. If it said hate I would be running to the police.

Original poster
Cheaplamp · 02/04/2012 12:16

Sorry cross posted with mrs micawber, was replying to squeakytoy.

Absolutely, mrs micawber.

OP posts:
wonkylegs · 02/04/2012 12:18

Cheaplamp - he had drawn an offensive picture and dumb comments on the pin board for a laugh, unfortunately I didn't catch it before the client saw it (and was rather shocked) at a project update meeting.
This meant I came down on him like a ton of bricks, he looked like he was going to cry but I'm not sure if it was my telling off, the fact he had to pay (out of his own pocket) to get rid of it or that he got asked to leave the site and not come back.
I think builders are always a bit shocked when I put my no-nonsense persona on because I am tiny and very girly looking (although at this point I was 7mths pregnant so looked like a short, angry and uncomfortable beached whale Blush)

limitedperiodonly · 02/04/2012 12:25

cheaplamp you were right.

Good policing is about stopping trouble before it starts not tearing about like the Sweeney.

FreudianSlipper · 02/04/2012 12:30

i am glad you reported it and the police have taken it serioulsy they should do

for too long little silly comments like this that are just a bit of fun Hmm have been ignored or people have been told not to create a fuss though many have been hurt its time people were responsible for their actions

HellonHeels · 02/04/2012 12:34

No way is that a waste of police time. The police certainly didn't think so. Glad you reported it and sorry it's happened to you.

sunshineandbooks · 02/04/2012 12:42

I"m not sure what the police can do about it but I'm glad it was reported. Racist (or any other 'ist') language and offensive remarks should never go unchallenged.

VeronicaSpeedwell · 02/04/2012 12:42

That's really awful, and in no way a waste of police time. It's true that whoever did it is utterly stupid -- that's true of lots of crimes. It doesn't mean they shouldn't suffer consequences.

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte · 02/04/2012 13:17

I'm glad you reported it.

I once reported a workmen who shouted over the back fence to my neighbour that he was a "f n", and it was taken similarly seriously.

TheMonster · 02/04/2012 14:04

Ah, now you didn't mention before that you were Asian. That does change things, because it means it could be a personal thing rather than general stupidity.

Original poster
Cheaplamp · 02/04/2012 14:14

Bodyofeyeore, it's in my opening post. Smile

But really, if it's offensive, then, well, it's offensive. White people have just as much right to find racism offensive. It shouldn't have to be personal.

OP posts:
TheMonster · 02/04/2012 14:16

You said mixed race - I didn't automatically think Asian. Of course white people can find racism offensive. The difference is that the builders MAY have been directing it at you rather than being just downright stupid.

SarahDoctorIndyHouse · 02/04/2012 14:17

Ah, now you didn't mention before that you were Asian. That does change things, because it means it could be a personal thing rather than general stupidity.

You're right that the fact that it could be personal makes it worse (I would say EVEN worse, it's plenty bad enough) but I am not Asian and I would most certainly have reported it, not just to the police but to the Insurance Co as well so that they were left in no doubt about what I thought of their contracting practices!

To suggest that the OP (whether Asian or not) should cover it up and move on fair gives me the willies.

Good on ya CheapLamp

noelstudios · 02/04/2012 14:28

I am in the police and managed a team (before mat leave) in a DV and hate crime unit. One of my team investigated an incident much like this where some contractors were laying concrete on a pub roof - and one left an offensive message somewhere they thought wouldn't be seen. The contractors' boss gave up the culprit to us very easily (it was someone he was already having problems with) he got nicked, admitted racially aggravated criminal damage and received a police caution. Pub owner was satisfied, the whole job took my officer less than 4 hours start to finish. It is an offence and the police should take it seriously, if they don't, then complain.

Latsia · 02/04/2012 14:36

Cover it up and move on.

Shock

This said to a mixed race family which has the gall to be offended by racist scrawling in their home.

I usually try to bypass threads on race and racism as they make my blood boil. This type of comment is the reason why.

hackmum · 02/04/2012 14:40

Hmm. The relevant laws would be inciting racial hatred, I guess, and, more pertinently, criminal damage. I would definitely inform the insurance company. Not sure it would be worth the effort of informing the police.

PosiePumblechook · 02/04/2012 14:42

I wouldn't call the police, I would complain to the construction company.

TheMonster · 02/04/2012 14:42

When I said that I didn't realise that it could be meant personally to them. I thought it was mindless stupidity at that point.

You haven't tried to bypass the thread if you read to that comment, Latsia Grin

TheMonster · 02/04/2012 14:43

What about the homophobic point of view? What did the police make of that aspect?

MrsArchieTheInventor · 02/04/2012 14:43

As for 'cover it up and move on' - at what stage should someone cover 'it' up and move on? When a dickhead builder scrawls it on your floor whilst doing work in your house? When it's an anonymous letter sent to your house and opened whilst you're eating your cornflakes? When it's spraypainted on the front of your house whilst you're sleeping? When your kid is too scared to leave school because of a group of prats opposite the school gates chanting hateful racist bigotry? Seriously, at what stage do you ignore racist homophobic insults??