To wonder why I have to constantly baby my husband and he seems to have no common sense

[WhaleOilBeefHookedIWill]

Yesterday he rings me from the supermarket- I will cook us a dinner tonight. Fine I say. In the meantime we visit my parents who have just come back off holiday. The kids are nagging to stay there for tea, I tell them no as Dad is cooking a dinner. So at 5pm we arrive home, the joint of meat is still on the side. I said 'DH I thought we were having a roast dinner for tea?' he replies 'ohhh I didnt know where you were so didn't bother' I pointed out I was contactable on my mobile he then says 'but my battery was dead'
So take two of the roast dinner debacle- he is cooking it today. I walk past the oven and notice the beef just chucked in a tray. I say 'DH arent you wrapping it in foil- it will be as tough as an old boot?' he says 'but theres no tin foil...'
Im sorry if I seem harsh but if that was me cooking the dinner i'd think about what I needed before hand and if we hadn't got it i'd take a trip to the shop and get it rather than ruin a whole joint of meat because I simply couldnt be bothered.
His attitude towards many things are exactly the same- a kind of 'oh well never mind' sort of apathy and its causing me to get extremely irritated. AIBU to think as a grown man he should be able to think a bit more about things?

Who deals with the consequences of his rubbishness? Did you sort out tea for him or did you let him fix the problem?

I didnt sort out tea. I took me and the kids out for tea.

Maybe you should just let him get on with it without interfering? If he messes up, he'll soon learn.

But he doesnt thats the whole point- we'd just be served inedible food that is a waste of our money!

I don't think you are unreasonable to be irritated by his "never mind" attitude, why couldn't he charge his phone? but specifically about the meat in foil thing, some people just don't have a clue about cooking or the significance of the foil. I get annoyed when people don't get meat to room temperature before cooking it, but I accept that I am a bit anal about such things. Same with laundry, some people don't see the harm in putting colours with whites, whereas it drives other people up the wall. It's that whole if you want it done properly do it yourself thing. Maybe he was being a bit ambitious with a roast. I don't think you are being unreasonable though, I just can't think of a solution. He sounds a bit lazy and that would grate for me too.

Why did you not ALL go out for dinner last night?

And therein lies the lesson.

How on earth does he function at work? Does he have someone to guide him through his work day, lest he mess up?

Or is he perfectly capable of carrying out his work duties and using common sense and initiative?

see where I'm going with this...

Don't worry my dh just put hot ashes in the wheelie bin the neighbours just came rushing over to tell us are bin was on fire!
Dh thinks its funny....
Ive told him he's a twat and he's cleaning it up now.

My husband has no common sense either. He is also deaf to everyone in the house unless its for something he wants to hear. Funny that. It's just plain laziness and lack of forward-planning. Not all men are common senseless, just a few of them.

Is he just plain lazy op? my exH could manage perfectly well in work or if helping out a friend etc but at home he was so lazy if I was at work and due home at 3.pm on a Sunday for example, I would get home to find kids starving and him saying they didn't tell him they were hungry ( they were too young to prepare their own lunch at the time) he could never be bothered to follow anything through always coming up with excuses or pretending he didn't realise things were broke/needing doing etc but if one of his mates needed a favour with the promise of a pint of lager at the end of it he'd be off like a shot!!

....and when I say a few, I mean about 99%-....

I never wrap a joint of beef in foil - why would not doing so make the meat tough? That aside, mine who has a brain the size of a planet and has advised government ministers and some of the most prestigious organisations based throughout the world, is exactly the same. Totally impractical and can't manage anything domestically multi-functional whatsoever. He'll be home in a minute and will start talking to me about something incredible complicated that he's just talked through with someone similar to him and I will go "mmm" "really" "could you just pass the salt please".

I've stopped expecting him to do anything domestically helpful ever since he filled a diesel car with petrol !

"I didn't realise is also a classic in our house". It makes my blood boil...

Does roast beef need tin foil? Never ever cooked it this way always lovely and tender.

"I didn't realise" is also a classic in our house. It makes my blood boil...

Sorry...

i never cover beef with foil, i base it ever 15-20 minutes...never tough to eat

You wrap beef in foil?

Stop enabling him. Or don't ever let him cook dinner, which is really what he wants, I would bet.

My DP is amazing in many respects - has loads of time off work/flexi works so he can help me out with the DC but he seems to have blind spots to the odd thing here & there...a case in point was a couple of weeks ago, 7wk old DS2 & I were in hospital for a week in quarantine with norovirus, DP looked after DS1 by himself all well & good and visited us everyday, but when we came home there was DS2's week-old dried vomit on the floor and on his bassinette as well as a bag of pooey nappies that he hadn't thrown out, yet he obviously must have known they had been contagious, not to mention just plain gross not to have been cleaned up. And rather than shopping for groceries for us coming home he had been late night shopping & bought new luggage...I was incredulous but too tired to go into it

YANBU. I have a DH who is exactly like this and yes, even at work he has this awful attitude which has cost him a few jobs over the years.
It is incredibly frustrating.
Partly I think it is just the way his brain operates and part of it is just pure laziness.

I thought all men were like this, also I now know why my roast beef has been on the two occasions I've attempted it tough and inedible....

See I am seeing both sides here. He said he'd do dinner so obviously isn't a useless human being - he does have a considerate side.

He may not know how to cook beef the way you do it but doesn't make his way wrong - I never wrap in tin foil and therefore wouldn't think to buy some in advance for meal cooked because it wouldn't occur to me to iyswim?

When he rang to say he'd do dinner I would have said that's lovely, me and kids off to parents but will be home what time you doing it for. I'm not sure if I said I'd cook and turned up home to an empty house and no indication of time to expect return I'd be doing the chasing if I was the one cooking.

I can see your annoyance with the dead battery and we don't have any but tbh if I was planning/ cooking a meal I wouldn't want to be/ wouldn't be faffing around with charging phone and running out for tin foil either.

Are there other things in your relationship that are causing you to be incedibly annoyed at these incidents?

You sound a bit control freaky tbh

It's very considerate to say you will cook dinner but it's totally INconsiderate to then not bother and leave the wife to sort dinner out whilst just sitting there like a helpless baby.

Why is it control freaky to not want to patch up the fuck ups your other half makes? Cook dinner don't cook dinner that's fine but to say you are doing dinner for the family and then not bother? Just leaves more problems for ME to sort when the kids are asking for dinner. And for the record DH always insists on using foil to cook joints the fact he just chucked the joint in regardless was because he simply cba to go and get some and would rather it ruin than go and buy some