to want to keep my new baby healthy?

[BabyBoyBlues]

I am a new mum, had DS two weeks ago. My family and I are close, but DH's aren't. My family have been to visit us with DS, as has DH's mum, but DH and I have agreed not to let his brother, who has small children, come and see DS until he's a bit older, because we don't want him to catch any germs. BIL and his family live abroad, and are visiting this month, then going back, not likely to be back until Christmas. MIL thinks we're being really OTT.
Am I being over protective? DS is so small and not vaccinated yet, I just don't want to risk anything.

ps... I also had PND...the fear of loss was massive in me. I felt completely out of my depth for a while there (now I just feel slightly out of my depth )

Goawaybob, you said you were being irrational. Would you say that's like unreasonable? Because it seems the consensus is that the op is bu

Sweetheart, honestly, listen to the collective wisdom of MN. You're not being not told what to do. You're being given the benefit of years, years, of hindsight & experience.

Was coming on earlier with sympathy. I thought you were being all new mum and PFB.

Then you posted again and I had a mind change.

Not so much PFB as really quite mean.

YABU. Sorry. congrats on your baby, but it's actually healthier to be exposed to lots of different people and germs. My SIL is anal about cleanliness and germs and things and her two have permanent chest infections...

He's a baby, not a puppy that can't go out until post-injections. YABU.

Random extra 'not'. Annoying.Pp

Blimey O'Reilly OP! Yes, you are being unreasonable...and a just a smidge on the nutty scale too.

Hi and congratulations but yes I agree with everyone else your being totally unreasonable. Everyone has germs every place everywhere. I understand the anxiety but it is important you let that go life is more important. Incidentally my ds was born at 26 weeks many health issues but I would never have dreamt of not allowing my ds s cousins to visit.

I am sorry all, hands up, is reverse AIBU.

I am really quite hurt by this and wanted to make sure I wasn't being unreasonable in thinking it is way OTT. Not sure that I can do much about it though. :( I do worry that maybe they need some support and I can't do anything to help. :(

MadameMessy I think the fact that i was being irrational made it perfectly reasonable in that context. My friends and family were really understanding.

I am not especially fond of my BIL, i wodlnt have made myself any more anxious than i was already to have his children visit my new baby, we are just not that close. Maybe the OP means that because they aren't that close she doesn't want to go to the trouble of the visit? I don't think my SIL has ever met my DD, i like my SIL, we just aren't that close, ive seen her about 5 times, ive been with my DP for 20 years

I think there is either an anxiety issue or your using it as an excuse. Unless your ds only comes in contact with you and dh (and neither of you come into contact with anyone/outside world) you can't stop germs.

YAB monumentally U. I suspect (and certainly hope) you will look back on this moment and laugh uproariously - unless, of course, you plan to keep your ds under house arrest until he reaches adulthood.

Right now, your precious new baby is about as protected from germs as possible if you are bf him. You will have transferred your immunities to him. Although obviously it is common sense to avoid bringing people carrying bubonic plague, tuberculosis or the obvious signs of zombie attack into your home.

But you are at risk of compromising his health yourself by keeping him away from the real world and the people in it.

YABU and a bit nutty tbh.

What you should do is phone her - ask her is she is coping, tell her you are really looking forward to meeting baby when she is ready - send her a pressie for him. Don't take it personally - she maybe going through what i went thorugh.

Oh OP, I'd be hurt too. I'm not sure what you can do either...

Apparently they have been advised this by their midwife.

Gah x posted

Congratulations on the birth, but....YABU.

You don't like them very much? Unless you've got a reason for that, it sounds like an excuse.

You really need to chill out, I totally agree with your MIL as well as the entirety of MN.

Please listen. This extreme over protection is not a good road to start down. As well as pissing off your DH's family (and rightly so) you don't want to get into a pattern of worrying about things that don't need to be worried about.

Damned x-posting - it's a sodding reverse AIBU. There should be a law against them!

Oh cross post.

Thanks everyone, and sorry for misleading you.