to want to keep my new baby healthy?

[BabyBoyBlues]

I am a new mum, had DS two weeks ago. My family and I are close, but DH's aren't. My family have been to visit us with DS, as has DH's mum, but DH and I have agreed not to let his brother, who has small children, come and see DS until he's a bit older, because we don't want him to catch any germs. BIL and his family live abroad, and are visiting this month, then going back, not likely to be back until Christmas. MIL thinks we're being really OTT.
Am I being over protective? DS is so small and not vaccinated yet, I just don't want to risk anything.

No, your compromise is still not okay. Unless you want no relationship with your BIL and family. Get over yourself and stop being so precious.

Like everyone else I think YABU.

My son had met about 10 snotty children in his first week but I assumed that unless there was something causing me medical worry (he wasn't premature or diagnosed with any condition) he would get by.

As someone said above, if this wasn't the case, how many second children would survive?

Many posts you see on here are about in-laws not bothering with new babies and upsetting Mumsnetters by not showing the requisite adoration of our first born. I'd have been gutted if my inlaws hadn't visited after DS was born and will soon be visiting my new baby niece/nephew with my toddler.....so yes YABU.

No, inviting BIL and not kids would still be bonkers.

Understand that you are totally PFB but your child will encounter germs and actually needs too in order to build an immune system. E-coli etc excluded!

YABU. Sorry. It's very important for your DS to be exposed to viruses and bacteria (not serious ones obv) in order to develop an immune system.
Billions of years of evolution has equipped us for this.
Congrats tho

Bear in mind too that this sort of thing is exactly what causes family rifts and bad feeling for donkeys years to come.

Dont be that person

Yabu. Completely. Congrats though.

YABU I'm afraid, children build up immunity by exposure

This thread is a joke!

YABVU

It's okay, OP. We've all been through the PFB stage. I cringe now at some of the things I did when DD1 was tiny

No, just bil and not the kids is worse, as bil will have to explain to his germ ridden offspring that their over precious aunt thinks that they are riddled with disease and not good enough to meet their baby cousin. Let the baby meet its family.

That's a very good point some people have made. It's much better that they are exposed to normal every day germs.

Obviously things like chicken pox, scarlet fever etc should be avoided but not healthy children.

I'm not sure about having another child. We haven't discussed that yet. We don't get on with ILs very well to be honest, and it just doesn't seem worth compromising DS's health for relatives we don't like much.

Oh and I also agree that not asking the kids is also not on. They are to your BIL what DS is to you - just as precious.

Sorry but I think although it's natural to be concerned about your DS' health, this is a massive overreaction. He is just as likely to get something passing someone coughing in the street while snoozing in his pram/sling.

YABU. It would be different if the children were actually sick.

OP, when MN is unanimous is sensible to listen.

Yes, Yabu.

No, it would not be OK to ask Bil but not the children to visit. Let them all visit.

Else go and live in a bubble.

Anxiety is normal, but needs to be managed, sounds like you are letting yours take over good sense.

OMG!

No that's not ok. The kids will be fine with him. Ds1 was the vilest, filthiest, snottiest toddler in the world when DS2 was newborn. He pulsated with bacteria; DS2 was fine. It's natural to have worries and you have to be open with your family about them when they come over instead of snatching the baby off them if they seem to have a sniffle.

Stop worrying and invite them over.

Oh, if you don't like them, and don't want them to visit, then just say that, don't use health as an excuse.

Threats are everywhere.

You are not putting your baby at any risk by letting him meet his cousins, you will however create a lot more bad feeling in an already broken family with your over protective attitude.

Well the relatives-you-dont-like-much is a different matter, but you are not compromising his health !!

compromisng his health would be taking him to a plague hospital, not having a couple of young children visit for an hour! Seriously, I know you are worried but you do need to get a rather large grip!

You're missing the point OP, this isn't about whether you plan to have another child. What we're saying is think about all the second/third/fourth children in the world - do you seriously think their health is 'compromised'? If not, then why would your child's health be compromised by meeting his cousins?

Unless your relationship with your ILs is completely screwed and you don't really want anything more to do with them then I'd say it is worth making the effort here - watching your baby develop a relationship with them could help bring you all closer together.

IF you dan't want to see the ILs at all then that is fine, but stop using your DSes health as a reason for it. You are starting to sound incredibly pathetic I'm afraid.

You know when you take PFB for his jabs....there will be germs and sick people in the Gp's surgery?
And the health visitor will be covered in germs from other children she has seen.
And that your car is covered in germs.
And the entire world is covered in germs....can you see where I'm going with this?

YABVVVVVVVU

You will cringe at this in a few years.
YABU This is the stuff long term family fueds are made of.