To expect STBX to have DC overnight in school holidays???

[kerbear]

Been separated 1 year but only lived apart from STBX since Septembr 2011 due to selling house. He has the 3 DC every other weekend and collects the 2 youngest from shool every day and cares for them until I finish work.

However, I asked STBX if he would consider having the 3 DC for 1 whole week (including overnights) of the Easter half term. He has refused stating that when they are not there that he does the majority of his work (he is self employed and works from home). But......he has said that he will look after them every day during the holidays as was originally agreed at the start of the separation.

The 3 DC are old enough to keep themselves entertained whilst they are at his during the day and there is a park at the end of his road which they go to on a regular basis, so I know he will do his work during the day. He does have an OW and I know he spends most of his evenings at hers with her n her 2 children.

He has told me that the DC are the most important people in his life....yet he won't have them anymore than the agreed every other weekend. He has them overnight for 4 nights a month.

Am I really being unreasonable to ask him to have them for 1 whole week??

70% now Gordy, fucking Tories.

Kerbear, I do understand where you're coming from, but I speak from experience and you can never make a man like this understand about responsibility, or appreciate that you being happy and balanced is a positive (and vital!) thing for your children. You are fighting a losing battle, and wasting vital energy on it.

I like to think that, if you only rely on yourself, other people can only suprise you rather than let you down - which is nice

yes - you are right - I miss the 10% as well - bastards

optimisticpessimistic I'm beginning to think that mayb u are right-I am the one that this is bothering and not him. Mayb I should accept that to him he is more important and hope that one day our DC will see what he is really like. As much as I would love a break from them at times I think I will settle for the fact that this will only happen 4 notes a month and just thoroughly enjoy the time that we spend together as a family :)

If you want a week of childfree time, your ex may be more likely to agree to that in a week when he doesnt have the children all day - i.e he may be more willing to keep them overnight for a week when they are going to school.

He may also be more likely to agree if you let him pick a particular week which suits him.

celstialnavigation -that's a idea....I will bear that in mind...thank you. :)

The thing that is really sad in all this ( apart from obviously you getting much in the way of a social life of your own) is the children must see how odd it is for you to shuttle them across to their fathers every day and pick them up every evening from a house which is equipped with bedrooms in which they sleep. They will be drawing their own conclusions from this.

I think you just have to start paying for babysitters if you want an evening out and stop hoping that he will play fairly. Our school has a list of sixth formers that babysit so it means you can pay £5 an hour rather than £6-7. At least its only for a couple of years as your 14 year old should be mature enough to be trusted on their own with the other two once they are 16.