to think she had no right to ask me if i was hoping it was a yes!!

[allgoodnamesaretaken]

I was in the chemist buy a pregnancy test earlier. The lady behide the counter was taking ages. When I finally got there the lady behide me asked "are you hoping for yes" . I didnt quite know what to say, the shop was fairly busy. I just replied I wasnt sure how i feel.
TBH, I know how I feel, I am scarced and really dont think a baby is a good thing for us at all right now.
I would never abort a baby, but know we run huge risks of a child with SN. That added to current situation means, its really not a good thing.
If you have worked out who I am, please please dont out me :(

The test is negative but im late and feeling very sick :(

I would never ever ask anyone that question, would you?

Bugger, my grammar and punctuation seem to have washed away into my last glass of Prosecco. There is a sensible response in there somewhere, I promise .

OP, YANBU, at all. It was intrusive and inappropriate. Lots of people are excusing it by saying "she didn't mean any harm," "it wasn't malicious" etc but that's not the point - it's thoughtless and there's a good chance you will upset the person. Like people who think it's ok to ask a couple why they haven't had kids yet (happened to us all the time when we were going through recurrent miscarriages), or giving knowing glances when you're off alcohol (may be because you are TTC rather than pregnant!).

The last few times I have had to buy pregnancy tests it's been for sad/ stressful reasons - to check a miscarriage was complete; and the CB digi ones to see if a much longed-for pregnancy seemed to be progressing. It's not a "public" purchase as trois suggested earlier - you need to buy them over the counter. Some pharmacies around here make you actually go up to the counter and ask (because preg tests are commonly nicked) so I avoided them and thought queuing with a basket was more discrete. Thank god I didn't meet the woman you did OP - I would have either burst into tears and been a weeping mess, or got v angry. Sounds to me like you handled it pretty well...

It's the kind of comment you would make to a particular type of woman.

WTF

no, she shouldn't have asked. Not everyone doing a pregnancy test is hoping for a yes. I would have been very upset if someone had asked me that when I bought the test confirming I needed an abortion

I did this myself when i worked at a super market, i asked a lady what she hoped for.

What would you have said if she had burst into tears and said " a negative because I will need an abortion" ?

As my old friend used to say, never pass up an opportunity to shut the fuck up.

nigel if you are asking me, i as an 18 yr old would of probably said nothing but now id probably say oh sorry to hear that.

YANBU but I would have just smiled and said 'it's not for me'. You don't have to always come up with the truth.

A chemist assistant asked me exactly the same thing. I just spluttered and said something unintelligible. I think the look on my face told him how upset I was at the question.

just to say it was NOT the lady behide the counter, it was the lady behide me in the queue.
I could have lied, but had spent all day waiting for dh to come home and didnt want to buy one infront of the kids, as dd1 is old enough to understand.

Jesus actual Christ @ some of the posts on here.

You know what? - there is a reason that small talk is always about the weather, the cricket, or the state of the roads.

You do not 'reach out to' a complete stranger by asking them about their medical history/ plans for a family.

What if you had been raped and were afraid you had become pg as a result?

What if you were buying the test for 13yo DD and were shocked out of your mind?

Total lack of manners.........

Totally inappropriate. The pharmacist (or whoever is her line manager) needs to have a word.

You can't have people commenting like that on private medical matters. Does she comment on every med she gives out? Does she ask Mr Jones how his piles are doing in front of the whole shop?

YANBU OP.

Sorry OP, I've just seen that it wasn't someone who worked in the shop.

Even so, it's not an appropriate question to ask someone.

She shouldn't have said it.

But the real issue is whether you are OK - that's what's important not a silly woman who upset you momentarily.

if im honest, no im not ok. Still feeling sick.
DH and I have talked about it, there isnt anything we can do if we are.
We would love and care for the baby as much as we do our other kids. Its just a very scarcy thing right now

Fingers and toes crossed then op.

I'm all for people being friendlier and chatty. I'm always happy to chat with someone in a queue, waiting for a train etc but some things are inappropriate to make small talk over.
Pregnancy often comes with complicated emotions and she really shouldn't have asked you that so YANBU

Good luck op. Hope things work out for the best.

YANBU

SHe was thoughtless.

There are things that it is appropriate to make small talk about (roads, weather, cricket) and things that it is NOT appropriate to make small talk about.

I think some people (especially those who do not MN!!) can live in a bit of a bubble where they and their family, friends have been lucky and a pregnancy test has always been an exciting thing... they are lucky... and don't know/think about why some people might be buying them.

I'm sorry she upset you, but please try to forget about it.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you that you aren't pregnant.

I really hope you're doing OK OP, that definitely is the main thing here.