to think she had no right to ask me if i was hoping it was a yes!!

[allgoodnamesaretaken]

I was in the chemist buy a pregnancy test earlier. The lady behide the counter was taking ages. When I finally got there the lady behide me asked "are you hoping for yes" . I didnt quite know what to say, the shop was fairly busy. I just replied I wasnt sure how i feel.
TBH, I know how I feel, I am scarced and really dont think a baby is a good thing for us at all right now.
I would never abort a baby, but know we run huge risks of a child with SN. That added to current situation means, its really not a good thing.
If you have worked out who I am, please please dont out me :(

The test is negative but im late and feeling very sick :(

I would never ever ask anyone that question, would you?

igggi Thu 29-Mar-12 23:09:03
Trois I think you should consider a break from mumsnet for a bit, as it's obviously getting under your skin and you're upsetting people wherever you go.

Im sure you can see fit to recommend to the moderators, if reporting is your style. Otherwise you can be adult enough to accept some people have opinions that disagree with yours.

portofino there are many other ways to engage with a customer.

talking about persnal matter is not one of them, there is the soaps, weather, tv programmes, hoildays, easter ect.

I've never considered a pg test to be a "public thing"! I don't know of any "private" way to buy one unless you've time to wait for an online delivery. It's far too personal for such a comment - as someone upthread said, something like 'I hope you get the result you wanted' would be much kinder.

trois its an internet forum. I take it from others comments that you have been though some stuff. It doesnt make anyone elses worries less so just because you had it harder.

trois it isnt what you say its HOW. You make good points at times, but the deliverance is so mercenary people get fucked off. This is a forum to exchange ideas different from your own not present your ideas as incontestable fact in a style to hurt and disrupt..

not sideing with trois, but this is an internet fourm and unless it is breaking MN T&C any one is free to say what they like.

At least 'are you hoping for a yes?' allows for the possibility of you answering 'no'. If she'd said, 'Oooh, exciting isn't it, have you been trying long?' etc, that would've been much worse.

Bloody hell trois are you going for a hat trick of offensive posts?

I think the woman at the chemist was probably just trying to be friendly without thinking of other outcomes than a nice welcome pregnancy.

Maybe chemist staff should be given better training so as not to encroach into peoples personal lives ..... I can't imagine someone working in a chemist shouting ' Mr Smith, 32 Long Street? Your Methadone is ready! It just wouldn't happen because staff know that that is an unspoken personal thing even though the recipient of the medication is aware that the chemist staff know what they need it for. The same should count for contraception and MAP

ok ...I'll take a step back.

I tend to type in short phrases because I think like that. I do apologise if I unwittingly upset someone yet again

DP had a similar ish situation. He has gynocaemastia (man boobs) and although they arent whoppers before treatment e had to take pills to attempt to reduce them. This medication is often prescribed to breast cancer patients. Pharmacist pulled him to one side and asked incredulously why he had been prescribed them... He explained.. Then i gave her a stern talking to about men getting breast cancer. That is intrusive and insensitive. Simple conversation isnt

Pat I don't think it was the person who worked in the chemist, but the person behind her in the queue.

I bought a couple of pregnancy tests in the pound shop. The guy at the till said "I hope you get the result that you want".

I loved the look on his face when I told him it was for my daughter :D (who is 22, didn't actually think she was pg, but is wildly irregular and had asked me to pick some up as I'm nearer the shop than she is).

So don't think that shopping in somewhere other than a chemist will spare you the questions..

Beer i think her intentions were again quite pure in that she didnt want him taking the wrong meds but her manner was as if he was a junkie or something. I was at the fact she seemed to think men cant get breast cancer too. If my DP had had cancer i can only imagine how upset that would of made him and would of duly wrenched her head from her body, and that to me is the difference between true offensiveness and Ops scenario

HolyLenten yes you're right - I apologise for misreading

I posted because I have experience recently of taking a prescription of my Dhs into the local chemist and a neighbour of ours works there ...... when she saw the script she loudly announced to the whole shop which was very busy - Oh I had no idea that your DH had a heart complaint!'

I wasn't particularly bothered by her comment as DH's heart problem isn't an issue but I wondered how often she commented about other peoples more personal stuff IFSWIM

I once got a mailshot from Breast Cancer Research, or whatever they're called, complete with pink ribbon badge, which waxed lyrical about how "breast cancer only affects women", so I'm not surprised a pharmacist didn't know.

But asking you that, how would she have reacted if you had replied, "well actually no, I don't want another child" I would imagine she would have been a little embarrassed.
As a PP said earlier, if she really needed to comment, perhaps a "I hope you get the result you want" would have been better.

Reminds me of the Little Britain sketch, where he is in the newsagents and the cashier remarks one everything he buys...eg "feeling thirsty?" "wanting to catch up on today's news?" "fancying a wank?"

YANBU. A totally inappropriate comment, even if was well meant.
Had someone asked me that during the seven or so years we were trying to conceive I really dont know how I would have responded - but I doubt it would have been polite and I certainly would not have been able to make inane chit chat in response. Hope you are ok OP.

YANBU. It's none of her business. Many people will be hoping for a yes, but others will be hoping for a no, for any variety of reasons they don't want to discuss - "Actually I got raped recently" or "I can't get pregnant because the baby would have an painful incurable genetic disease" or "I had a one-night stand" etc.

Op yanbu - she was in making a comment like that. For all sorts of reasons - and working in a chemists shop you would have thought that she would have known that you really don't comment on some things, pg tests being one of them as whilst it could be the start of so much happiness it could also not - or just be the wrong time - say your boss was in or your mum etc you don't necessarily want everyone knowing everything right from the start.

Op, I found that if anyone asked me an inappropriate pg question, I could usually just sidestep it and leave them wrongfooted by saying something nonsensical like 'I'm hoping for kittens this time but puppies would be good too' because then they don't know what to say when you've said that... And if they do try to bluster further you get to then point out they are being rude in pushing you further.

OP, no, you are definitely not BU, at all. What a completely inappropriate question. Feck, I can be awkward in social situations, but this wasn't even one, it was a queue. She didn't actually have to talk to you at all.

Having worked n retail when I was young, I get the need to make small talk, but never about anything personal - as the sales assistant, have no idea of the context. For example, when I was 16 and working in a newsagents, once, one of the girls I worked with served a couple, the man was slurring his speech a bit. She came out with 'haha, your husband seems a bit pissed. Kind of early in the day for that, eh?'. The wife then informed her that her husband was recovering from a stroke. And was, understandably, damn pissed off. So, never assume.

Allthatshe wants, that is fecking awful, I'd have been fuming. Some pharmacists (not all, obviously) in my experience, think they are doctors. The little fecker in my local Boots is one - I once dropped in a prescription for strong painkillers (post MC), only for him to grill me when I was picking it up - why was I taking them, what were they for, had I not tried anything else? Was I supposed to share my full fucking story with him. They were prescribed FFS. Another time I went in to buy some Motilium, and he quizzed me as if I was buying methadone or something, 10 mins of questions. Needless to say, I no longer shop in that, or any, Boots. Put me right off, the nosy, jumped up little shite.

Sorry OP, hijacked a bit there. Really hope you are okay.