so as not to drip feed, i want to put as much info on my op as poss. so apologies if its long.
i have a friend with 2 dc. they are 5 YO and 6 months. she has a filthy house, i mean, floors caked with dust and filth, broken toys everywhere, old food left lying about. days and days worth of dirty pots all over the kitchen sides. random junk stacked up everywhere. the cooker, toaster, microwave etc is caked with brown filth. the whole house stinks as well as they never open the windows (or curtains). and the whole house is like it.
there are also 2 hamsters in a hamster cage in the kitchen ( 
) that never gets cleaned out and stinks so bad of hamster-shit and wee, it honestly makes you gag when you walk in. (i actually feel sorry for the poor wee hamsters too :( )
i wish i could get across exactly how filthy the house is, its awful.
the 5 year old is always grubby and dirty, dirty hair and nails, clothes look very scruffy, too small for her, holes in clothes, shoes etc. the baby is better dressed but i think they may be still using all the new stuff they got for him when he was born. but he also is quite grubby, very long, dirty fingernails.
her bedroom is completely heartbreaking :( she has an old toddler bed just plonked in the middle of the room. no sheet or quilt or pillow. just a bare mattress and a grubby bare duvet, toddler size. not big enough for a five year old. her room is filled with crap, broken toys, clothes everywhere etc. and also dirty and dust-covered. there is no storage, her clothes etc are just strewn around the room. she regularly wets the bed as well.
she is also frightened of my friends P (not her real dad) he shouts at her all the time, calls her names and disciplines her by smacking her. and when my friend goes out without the dc (ie leaves them with her P) my friend tells her to stay in her bedroom until she gets back basically to keep her out of her P's way :( .
there is also an abusive situation going on with my friend and her P (he is mentally and financially abusive to her) but despite her coming to me and her other friends time and time again for advice, she won't do anything about it (ie kick him out) so to be honest my main concern now is for the dc, particularly the eldest but also now the baby is getting to a crawling age i dread to think of him crawling about in the dirt.
i think its probably the case that my friend is depressed and just not coping, and also her P does absolutely nothing round the house whatsoever, just leaves it all to her. he also wastes all their money (not that they have a lot, they are both on benefits) on gambling and stuff for himself. there is rarely enoough food or milk in the house.
i would hate the thought of her DC being taken away, i don't want that to happen to her, but i think something needs to be done. i know that the eldest DC's school has raised concerns as well. i am not nasty, i don't want to be malicious and i don't want to meddle, but i just have this horrible gut feeling it isn't right. and i am not the only one out of her friends. should i just stay out of it?