AIBU to think the teacher could have handled this differently?

[lottielou39]

I'll be brief.
Dd (yr 4) wrote a love note to a boy in her class.
Innocent 'I Love You' type stuff.
Teacher takes it away and then in assembly, in front of the whole year, reads out the note, names and all.
The (totally blameless) boy in question was very embarrassed.
I've explained to dd that she shouldn't write notes in class, (was written during fun free time session) but really- it's not the fucking crime of the century is it? And much better than a hate note?
Is public humiliation the way to go? Should the teacher not have had a word with her in the classroom or in private?

That sounds like a ridiculous way of dealing with a non issue, if the note was written in free time what is the problem, as for embarrasing the poor boy, words fail me.

Ah yes, the archaic tradition of styfling self expression by humiliation. Nice.

Oooh, that's harsh! I might have threatened to do it but there's no way I would have. I may also have ribbed her about it a little, but that would depend on her personality and how she would cope with it. I certainly would not have mentioned names in from of others in the class, that's an invitation for teasing

I'm normally vocally against teacher bashing... But on this occasion teacher was massively out of order. Complain to the line manager ASAP.

Blimey. I was coming on to fight the usual teacher's corner but what an arse.

Bless your dd. (mine has a secret diary which charts who she "loves" from one week to the next)

Complain. Really, this was not acceptable behaviour by the teacher. It was the deliberate humiliation of 2 children.

Blimey. That's a very old-fashioned (and for very good reason) way of dealing with a mildly undesirable piece of behaviour. YANBU.

If this is representative of the school's philosophy I don't think I'd choose to send my DCs there, if I had a choice

I think that's really mean of the teacher.
My own year 5 daughter would be mortified if that happened to her. Kids of this age can be awful to each other about 'embarrassing things'.

A teacher should be someone a child can trust, IMO that teacher has damaged that relationship now.

I second that. I think the teacher handled that (non situation) very badly.

I am a teacher and I think this is totally inappropriate. Completely out of order to humiliate two children in such a way.

Actually, what am I on about ??? It's not even an undesirable pice of behaviour. It's a lovely note

As a teacher, I would advise you to complain about this, loudly.

Very unprofessional behaviour; humiliation of a child in front of their peers in never, ever an appropriate strategy, or one which should be sanctioned by the school.

OP when I was in reception, so five years old, a very similar thing happened to me - that was 36 years ago and it is one of my most vivid memories as it was so, incredibly humilating and embarassing.

I would complain MASSIVELY.

What tethers said.
Unacceptable.

What tethers said

YANBU. To make such a palaver over a year 4 child and embarrass the innocent victim recipient at the same time seems wildly over the top. A word in the classroom, would be OK. To choose assembly seems positively sadistic.

I did once get fearsomely humiliated by our horrible history teacher for doing something similar after I'd clumsily slipped a note into the desk of whichever spotty youth I was currently yearning for. I still remember Mr W telling me to pass him the note which he read out in a fearsomely accurate imitation of a love-sick 13 year old. But I was in Year 8 and it was a ludicrously soppy note that I shouldn't have been writing during a lesson.

Massive complaint deserved I would say, poor DD and poor boy. That is really old school!

YANBU, I'd be going mental about that.

What a nasty thing to do

I would wait for the next assembly and then chastise the teacher!!!

I would complain to the Head and ask for a letter of apology, I would also email the governors.

Complain. I am a teacher and this is appalling. Complain loudly and tell your daughter it is out of order so she remembers your support and not the humiliation she felt.

I was made to stand in the corner with my hands on my head for talking too much in class. On my first day. I was 4. It was 1974

Things like this do happen even to adults. My dear late husband was driving the school minibus on a sort trip somewhere. He was captured on a camera at over the speed limit by a couple of miles (ok I know it was wrong but 4 or 5 miles over on a main road). Ok that's fine. He was found out. What happens? The notice of a fine was sent to the school because it was the school minibus and the offence was announced by the Headmaster in the staffroom at a social meeting. How humiliating can that be? My DH paid his fine, of course, but felt awful that it had been made so public. We don't hear about other people's similar offences. Eventually, the Headteacher was dismissed by the Governors after a petition by the staff because of his obliviousness to dealing with people sensitively and not just my DH's fine.

If I were to expand on this with other examples, it would probably identify him so I won't.

Most definitely complain.

Public humiliation is not an acceptable form of punishment.

100% YANBU is the a record?

How rediculous of the teacher to respond in this way!

innit.