AIBU to think the teacher could have handled this differently?

[lottielou39]

I'll be brief.
Dd (yr 4) wrote a love note to a boy in her class.
Innocent 'I Love You' type stuff.
Teacher takes it away and then in assembly, in front of the whole year, reads out the note, names and all.
The (totally blameless) boy in question was very embarrassed.
I've explained to dd that she shouldn't write notes in class, (was written during fun free time session) but really- it's not the fucking crime of the century is it? And much better than a hate note?
Is public humiliation the way to go? Should the teacher not have had a word with her in the classroom or in private?

That teacher sounds rubbish, I would complain to the head.
It was a spiteful thing to do

I've since heard (from the Mums who texted me to ask if I'd heard what happened) that this teacher has a reputation for speaking to children in an awful way. She called my dd's friend a prat yesterday, and she's often very very dismissive and blunt with kids.

That's awful lottie :(
When are you seeing the headteacher?

husband is phoning her this morning

That's awful, what a terrible way to deal with it, have you spoken to the school this morning? I think I would be more angry at her saying she hated the sound of my dd name tbh. You're right it does sound like she lost it yesterday (am actually hoping this is the case and she's not like this all the time)

Sorry x posted

Seriously lottie that is absolutely disgraceful. There are few things that sicken me more than teachers who humiliate and disrespect children. If you write down those incidents, the letter, the comment later in the day and the calling someone a pratt then I would be amazed if the teacher isn't brought to book and suspended at the least, and rightly so. Hope your meeting with the head goes well. Did you keep your DD off?

BTW it doesn't matter what your DD wrote in the letter, even if it was "inappropriate" the teacher still shouldn't have read it out to others.

Um, I would also complain.

As a teacher I often come on here and post in the teachers defence, or at least able to see it from their point of view.

However, this is awful.

I am wondering if a call to the General Teaching Council soon to be Teaching Agency is in order.

Good luck today OP, although i do second what mumsyblouse said.

head spoke to husband. The teacher wants us to come in tomorrow morning so she can apologise to us. Denied that the kids laughed when the note was read. (dd adamant they did) but admits she shouldn't have read it out.

Well done you two for getting some recognition of what was done. Really the teacher should apologise to your dd but I suppose that's a bit unrealistic. It makes me sad to think of what happens to children whose parents can't/wont stand up for them when neccessary. Adults in authority can be so abusive (as well as supportive and kind, I know. But children are so vulnerable to this kind of nastiness)

I am pleased about that Lottie.

When I was about 11 I wrote a note to a "boyfriend" in class and it ended out being read in front of everyone. It is singularly the most humiliating thing that has ever happened to me. Only the other day I was thinking about it and how awful it had made me feel. I was too embarrassed to speak to my mum about it, but if it had happened to one of my DCs I would go ballistic. Hope thinkgs are sorted properly tomorrow and your DD can put it behind her totally and move on.

While it's good that action is being taken, it's not really you who deserves the apology. The teacher, or the head, really ought to apologise to your daughter and the boy - and do it in front of the class she humiliated them in front of.

Whether the other children laughed or not is academic, and in no way detracts from the seriousness of the teacher's actions. Don't be drawn into a discussion on that.

And well done for taking action.

At least it's something. How is your DD feeling now? Perhaps she will be included in the apology when you all go in tomorrow. One more term to go...
I hope the teacher won't treat any children like that again.

Apologise to you AND your DD? That's good. Be gracious and you can model a useful life skill to your SS.

I would still report the teacher

I really hope your DD gets an apology OP. I would not stand for anything less. It is not unrealistic to expect her to do that at all. Hope it goes ok for you all.

How did it go? Have you been in for your apology yet? Did she say anything about what she said about your daughters name?

went in this morning; she apologised for reading out the note, but denied making the comment about my dd.

I would write a letter documenting clearly what happened, what your specific issues are and send it to the chair of the governing body and the head. Although you have received an apology it seems somewhat "qualified" and I would include in your letter how you perhaps feel this whole situation could have been dealt with better. If this teacher is a problem flagging it to the governing body will help if you or others have an issue with the same teacher in the future to ensure that something is done.

I second what Hobnobs says, OP. Was your DD included in this apology (if you can call it that)? Did the other family affected by this receive an apology too?