MIL just had a rant down the phone at me - DD hasn't been wearing her brace and MIL thinks I should 'make' her.

[sandyballs]

How exactly do I 'make' an 11 year old wear a brace. Forcibly pin her down and shove it in?

Why does interfering MIL think it is that easy. 'Just make her, I would, just tell her and she should do it'.

I've tried bribing, begging, telling her horror stories about dodgy adult teeth.

I had to wear one at 16yrs that gave me a lisp until I got used to it-how embarrassing is that?! Much better to have it done earlier.

I would bite her arm off for her brace,but I cannot pay for private orthodontics.
I would do your very best to make her - I think it'll be a regret if she gives up too easily.

I would appeal to her vanity personally - I don't think I gave a hoot about healthy teeth at that age.I know its wrong of me to say that,as beauty is from within,but I'm just trying to think what would make a difference for me at that age.

For what its worth,my main reasons for wanting a brace now are vanity.My teeth aren't even that bad,but I am so self concious of them.I think she will thank you for pushing her to keep going,in the long term.

And I am sure that Stratters is right and gum disease is linked to heart disease.

LeQueen the braces I wore for correction of my overbite caused a couple of my teeth to go crooked, impacted wisdom teeth, worse tooth staining and triggered the start of gum disease that I've never fully managed to shake since. Oh and caused me to need to be refered to a speech therapist at 14. To top it all off my jaw moved back around when my wisdom teeth came in and I have intermitent jaw pains due to this. Its not always successful.

I had good compliance, but still all this happened. If DC are recommended braces I will be having a long chat with the dentist about the risks as well as the benefits because it doesn't always help.

Likewise if its not necessarily going to cause major health issues, I would struggle myself with forcing DC to wear braces for cosmetic reasons.

I had just about every kind of brace going as a kid. I started with a head brace, moved onto train tracks, then a plate. After 2 years of discomfort they then decided to fit me with a block brace. It was horrific. The other braces were painful, but this was tantamount to torture. The pain and discomfort combined with the inability to speak or eat and the constant dribbling was frustrating and demoralising. My schoolwork suffered because I couldn't concentrate and I was sick and tired of trips to the orthodontist.

My mother and I agreed that enough was enough and we quit. I don't have the perfect Hollywood smile, but I certainly don't look dreadful.

I honestly wouldn't wish the block braces on anyone.

Well she has gone off to school without it. We had a long chat, she has a mouth full of ulcers from when she did wear it and it's extremely painful for her to put it back in. I've decided to go back to orthodontist next week during school hols and seek advice.

She is in year 6 and this brace, if she wears it properly, should last for a maximum of four months which takes her to the end of July. She starts a new school in September and I keep telling her if she delays this treatment she could be starting her new school with all this crap in her mouth when she's trying to settle in and make new friends. Far better to get it over with in an environment she's familiar with and kids she's known for 7 years.

No wonder she has taken it out if she has ulcers , good luck at the orthadontist , Dd2 was a bit of a dragon tbh but she was very good at advising ,

Hey LeQ thanks for answering me nicely!!

Yeah, see the key thing is, your parents explained stuff to you and got you on side. I think that is it for me: DC feeling like they don't have any rights here. OP has specifically said her ortho is abrupt and short with her DD. I think at that age lots of people have a chip on their shoulder about being 'treated like a child' iyswim.

I think there is a massive difference between saying 'my parents talked me through it and I trusted them' and saying, which some posters have, 'I would just make them do it 'cause I'm the adult'.

I don't think it is unreasonable to be rubbed up the wrong way by the latter!

And to the PP who found the idea of gynae treatment for pubescent girls so 'revolting', er, really???? You do know there are girls with really problematic periods who have to have this? My DSis was one! I was trying to find a comparator of an invasive and potentially scary treatment, that was all. Calm down.

she does not need a so-called Hollywood smile but maybe an improvement could be made on the overbite without this rather drastic double brace. Atm she has one which pushes the lower jaw forward when she closes her mouth and the upper brace which forces her jaw outward to move the front back. Of course it is unpleasant for her. How about she just has a removable brace for the upper jaw and works on minimising the overbite? Could you ask about the feasibility/wisdom of doing that?

I can understand her. See if there is an alternative to the one she has. Progress may be slower but she will find it easier to speak and get used to an upper brace I should think. I wouldn't have it fixed in but use the removable one so she can eat and clean her teeth properly.

Poor DD sandy - ulcers really hurt and I think it is reasonable for her to have new advice/ some pain relief. Feel sorry for both of you!!

If its giving her ulcers no wonder she doesn't want to wear it! I had a plate from being 12 up to 16, first day I wore it we had a French oral exam which was Hilarious as I could hardly speak. Within a couple of days I has adjusted to it and could talk normally. It never have me ulcers though!
I clearly remember having it tightened every few weeks which was agony for a couple of days but then eased off. When I reached 13 I got a bit more image conscious and started to refuse to wear it to school, the dentist was ok about it but he made it clear that it would take much longer to get my teeth straight if I only wore it to sleep. It was an acceptable compromise I feel!

Sorry, but your MIL is right. She should wear it, you are her mother and you should absolutely insist. She probably feels that directing the comments at your dd would be hugely interfering. dd1 (12) has just had double train tracks fitted and she has been absolutely brilliant about it. I would ask the ortho if there is something more permanent she can have fitted.

Errr revolting read the posts again

you were not JUST talking about painful periods....you were talking about sexually active children and suggesting that parents would "treat"this by holding them down and banging a coil into them....THAT is what i found revolting about your post

if a child is sexually active at that age it shows that parental influence has broken down long ago and forcing "treatments" if you could call it that is not the issue at all

but as usual someone goes off on a tangent............

dd1 had sores too - you can put BraceEze on the brace to relieve it but there is nothing you can do - wearing it more will help, once they've gone it will be fine. I know it seems harsh but really, after a week of wearing it everything will feel much better.

Well when I was younger it wouldn´t have occurred to me not to do as I had been told by the dentist-& yes it was my dentist, not an orthodontist who dealt with my brace.

But a mouth full of ulcers does rather put another slant on it, poor kid!

OP I do feel for your daughter. My DD aged 13 has had a rough year since she had her brace fitted. Started with twin block and could not swallow, kept drooling and gagging for two weeks. Then changed to a fresh brace and was told she had to have four teeth removed. Got those out at Feb half term. Now she has these elastic bands to wear and the hooks keep snapping off so we are trekking across town to the ortho clinic about every week to get it repaired.
It's been a nightmare of remembering appointments etc.
Also she has been suffering from anaemia (separate issue) and that makes her exhausted and too tired to clean her teeth at night. Be glad when this is all over tbh

blubbery I am not going to hijack the thread by discussing this any more after this - I did not use the phrase holding them down and banging a coil into them - I asked if people suspected their DDs were becoming sexually active in the pubescent years (and this does happen) whether they would push them into medical treatment.

Personally I think saying that a tween girl who gets sexually involved has necessarily had a huge breakdown of the parental relationship is very naive - these things do happen and to 'nice girls', too - but this is hardly the point of the OP. I was trying to come up with an analogy, that's all, as to coerced medical treatment. Obviously you haven't found it illuminating.

"It is painful, she has got ulcers from the short time she has worn it, it completely transforms her features and not in a good way as her chin is forced out, she dribbles, she can't talk properly, she can't eat, her jaw aches."

Poor little scrap, no wonder she's not keen! It sounds as if the orthodontist didn't bother to warn her that all these things would happen at first but most of them will get better quite quickly (i.e. within a couple of weeks) and she isn't going to be stuck like that for the whole duration of the treatment?

I see from your post that you're considering looking for a different practitioner, so this might be redundant? - but just in case, this is what my DD and I were told by our (utterly lovely and very understanding) orthodontist:

• the drooling will settle down in a few days. It's awful while it lasts, but it does pass (basically your body gets used to having something in your mouth permanently and stops trying to treat it as food by making extra saliva).

• the facial transformation...my DD has the same thing (chin sticking out) but we were reassured that it's not how she'll end up looking - her face will sort of grow around it. Of course her chin will ultimately be further forward than it is naturally (that's the point of the treatment) but the "muzzle" effect isn't how it's mean to look at the end of the treatment.

• the talking...this is practice, and will get much better the more she wears it and talks with it. Of course she feels self-conscious - who wouldn't? - but if she can hang in there and keep trying, her speech will become much much better in a very short time.

• can't eat...she can take it out for eating, can't she? Does she have somewhere safe at school she can store the brace while she's eating?

• aching jaw...this eases after a week or so but in the meantime she can have pain relief.

• ulcers...that suggests maybe the brace is a poor fit and needs to be eased. DD got a monster one at first - the orthodontist shaved some plastic off it, and she's had no trouble since.

best of luck to your DD.

My DD had a brace to correct an overbite, it was very hard for her the first week.

I would agree with everything outrageous has posted and would also add something about the pain/blisters.

Our dentist insisted I buy some bonjela and pain killers for the first few days/week of the brace. He told DD to expect it to be uncomfortable for a while so she should use bonjela and pain killers at the first sign of any discomfort. This meant the pain was nipped in the bud.

Another thing, the dentist showed DD some photo examples of people "before" and "after" treatments. DD was able to see for herself the huge difference the brace would make. I wonder if there would be any examples on the internet or at your dentists?

I think you are right to go back next week, I would hope the dentist can really encourage your DD. It will be so worth it.

sandy I think what you said you are doing,in your latest post sounds spot on.

Poor DD with a mouthful of ulcers.Thats a genuine reason for her reluctance at the moment. I really hope something can be done to help.

It sounds to me that she needs some kindness and some understanding at this point.It doesn't mean she's giving up - just that the discomfort is too great to tolerate at present.

I would try to address this ulcers issues,and talk about things in a positive light,with confidence that this will be overcome.

Are there any people she knows,who had braces? What about any celebrities who had braces to give them the smiles they have now? Could she perhaps identify with the fact that others have been through what she's going through now?

I like the idea of before and after photos. Could the orthodontist put your DD in touch with another girl a bit older who is coming towards the end of her treatment? Perhaps encouragement from someone of the same age would help?

This type of appliances are uncomfortable to start with it may need a little adjusting if ulcers though,

I am afraid to say that you have little or no chance or gettinga different orthodontist, but a chat with your own dentist might help

your DD obviously has more than a simple problem to need this type of bracr before she gets her fixed appliances, it is unlikely she will get the next atage which she will find much easier unless this is completed first.

This type of "functional appliance" maybe called twin block only works when bone is growing it can not be used when she is older, it would then need maxillo-facial surgery

agree with others she does need sympathy and I do understand it is awkward painful difficult to talk and eat with, the dribbling etc will probably disappear with in 3-5 days and she should be talking ok etc within 2 weeks with it; not saying it will be fantastic after 2 weeks but she should be able to wear wthout pain. as her muscles get better at controlling it and once she reaches that stage it will be easier; this type of brace does work quite fast as you mentioned about 4 months ( which is fast in orthodontic terms)

try and get her to wear it as much as possible even before going back to orthodontist. if a particular curve of wire seems to be digging in there is a sort of soft wax that covers that bit, ask your dentist

Hi there Sandy - poor DD. Again our ortho recommended warm salt water and bonjela for ulcers.... it is horrible.

She cannot take these braces out when eating - as that is when they do alot of their work (jaw going up and down). My DD took about 2 weeks to learn to eat all foods with them in - now she does not even think about her block braces when she is about to eat.

We see our lovely ortho every month - as dd is cutting new teeth and the braces are working well she gets sore points in her gum. We try and work through it as she is so happy with the changes to her face shape and her bite is so much better now, we have had a few tears of the months but we get through it.

These type of braces are not really cosmetic, they have huge effects on the bite of the child and the abbility to chew food. - they change bone growth and as such are really only effective before the changes in bone at puberty (11-13 in girls usually). if you leave it later then then this the corrective options are not pleasant - breaking the jaw bone and stretching it or removing teeth from the upper jaw causing the face to collapse in to meet the lower jaw - not the best option for face shape as it makes the nose appear bigger.

I do think the key to this is before and after images... also the latest episode of embarressing illnesses has a lady on who should have had a twinblock - perhaps let your DD watch that part of the episode!