is this really what people do these days?

[Megatron]

DS was due to go to a party this afternoon but unfortunately has had the most horrible stomach bug since Tuesday and is totally washed out, still not eating etc. I knew yesterday that he wouldn't be going so I rang the party lads mum and told her, offered to pay for his place as it was a Laser party and I knew was £12 a head, she accepted, all fine. I passed their house last night so put the money through her door.

So this morning I receive a text from her to ask me if I will be dropping off her sons birthday present today . I text back saying no I won't, I'll give it to her when I see her at school, hope party goes well etc. Half an hour later she turns up at my door as 'she was passing' for her sons present. I was mortified. The present was sitting on the bookcase in the hall but it wasn't wrapped (as I always do that about 4 seconds before I leave for the party). I know this is petty but really? Am I incredibly old fashioned or is this normal manners these days?

How rude; I would have been grateful that you had the courtesy to offer to pay for your lad's place at the party.

Wow, really? I also wouldn't have paid for his place at the party - they probably won't have to. And anyway, it can't be helped. It was their choice to have such an expensive party too.

If a child didn't come to the party because they were ill, I wouldn't expect them to pay for their place, let alone expect a present!!

That is appalling manners. I'd have told her where to go tbh, even if the present was bought and wrapped. Cheeky cow.

seems a bit grabby to me!
And extraordinarily inconsiderate, given that your DS is still unwell. I hope you coughed all over her and said "Gosh, I hope I'm not coming down with what DS has..."

What a brass neck that woman must have!

unbelievable. I almost admire her nerve.

O M G! That is jaw droppingly rude. Is she always that forward?

cheeky mare!

you were great to pay for the space..she should be grateful...I've had kids not attend and still had to be paid for...keep away from her in future!

That's hilarious! If someone had been too ill to attend a party I certainly wouldn't be chasing them up for the gift. It would be a nice surprise to be given it at nursery or wherever but I wouldn't really expect it tbh. It was very kind of you to pay for his place I don't know that I'd expect that either.

What's that mumsnetty word? grabby? Or grasping? She's that. I dont know if I'd manage to keep a straight face if someone did that I'd be so astounded.

Grabby, greedy and tacky.

I have no other words, I'm too busy stitching my jaw back in place to comment.

What Netto said

Shocked at this. Sometimes I don't take DD to parties when we're skint and can't afford a present. So there wouldn't be any present in this case, and I'd just front it and say.
What an extraordinary cheek.

That's astonishing! I could never imagine doing something so tactless.

I don't really know her that well, we will say hi etc but that's about it. To be honest, I probably wouldn't even have thought to take the present to school anyway but she kind of forced my hand a bit. Well she's got balls I'll give her that.

I'm glad I don't have her nerve in my tooth! Unbelievably grabby. I'm mortified on her behalf.

stresshead, that's really sad. Would anyone really mind (or indeed notice) if a child turned up with a homemade card and no (or an inexpensive) present?

wrt the OP, no that's not normal! Someone brought a present into school once for ds as they'd had to pull out of his birthday party (they were poorly) and I was quite surprised tbh.

I'm with LadySybil.

If you weren't so polite, you might think of asking her just to pop back and bring over a get well soon card and gift for your DS.

Good God

Love that phrase carabos

I'm astounded by how entitled this Mum sounds!

That is just so rude that it makes you wonder if something else was going on.

Maybe she doubted your DS was sick and thought you were going out somewhere else, so she made up a (rude & bizarre!) reason to come round?? Or her DS had said your DS was upset that he couldn't give him his present

Not that either would make it better, but it seems like such strange behaviour to not have an explanation!

I'm

I wouldn't have expected a present, or for you to pay for the place.

Who does that?! The cheeky cow.

This is exactly the kind of thing my sister would do
The only reason I know it wasn't her is because dn's birthday was last month
Very rude. I would have said I was sorry but I had been stuck in the house all week with ds and hadn't bought it yet. Cheeky cow

YANBU