is this really what people do these days?

[Megatron]

DS was due to go to a party this afternoon but unfortunately has had the most horrible stomach bug since Tuesday and is totally washed out, still not eating etc. I knew yesterday that he wouldn't be going so I rang the party lads mum and told her, offered to pay for his place as it was a Laser party and I knew was £12 a head, she accepted, all fine. I passed their house last night so put the money through her door.

So this morning I receive a text from her to ask me if I will be dropping off her sons birthday present today . I text back saying no I won't, I'll give it to her when I see her at school, hope party goes well etc. Half an hour later she turns up at my door as 'she was passing' for her sons present. I was mortified. The present was sitting on the bookcase in the hall but it wasn't wrapped (as I always do that about 4 seconds before I leave for the party). I know this is petty but really? Am I incredibly old fashioned or is this normal manners these days?

Wow, that is incredibly rude.

Especially as your poor ds didn't get to go to the party, I totally agree with asking for a party bag!

good Lord i would have fainted with embarrassment on her behalf.

that is SERIOUSLY cringeworthy behaviour.

I would have said I hadn't bought it yet... And where's the party bag

Where does someone learn that this behaviour is acceptable/appropriate?

What a grabby bitch! Like others, I really hope she is on here reading about herself and realising what a twat she is.

It wouldn't have occurred to me to have offered to pay for the party. How do you know how much it was anyway? But I would have taken the present to the playground on Monday and have done in the past. On the occasion I did the mother concerned was very appreciative and asked me if I was sure as ds hadn't made the party.

I wouldn't have accepted your offer to pay and tbh probably wouldn't have thought to offer to pay if my child couldn't attand for whatever reason. The mother is very grabby and rude with regard to the present. I probably would have taken the present to the school without them asking but I certainly would not like being asked for it like that!

I am picking my jaw up from the floor after that, I cannot believe that the woman had the nerve to do that? Just trying to imagine how I would have reacted had the same happened to me. Very tempted to tell her to f off. What a bloody nerve.

Wow, now I've heard it all. That is just unbelievable.

Actually I don't do gifts for unattended parties. Wonder what she'd have said if you hadn't got one.

I am gobsmacked! Usually a party costs what it costs, and if people can't come - well that is a shame but I would never dream of charging/offering to pay. Dd had hers today - 3 couldn't come. I will sent a party bag to school for them, but cannot imagine ever,ever phoning the parents to demand a present! Graspy and nasty.

You should ask for the party bag and a piece of cake.

It's not often I'm lost for words but, um, well, um, rude doesn't cover it.

Im surprised that you felt that it was necessary to pay for the party (and that the mum accepted )
For her to then insist on the present is really, really weird.

Is this mum usually OK, or is she always this rude?

Really rude! I'd be tempted to turn up at her house and request the party bag, sandwiches, crisps and cake etc..that you paid for.

Wow-how rude!

It wouldn't cross my mind to ever ask for a present.

I too am shocked.

I can't believe that, it's dd's birthday tomorrow and am paying £8 pp I've had someone cancel today and that's 3 kids, I would never dream of charging or chasing a present

I once had to drop out of a party at short notice due to double booking, totally my fault and I did offer to pay for the place as I knew that for that party you had to pay per child in advance. The party host mum wouldn't accept the money and certainly didn't ask for a present. As I buy mine last minute I wouldn't have had one anyway, should I have bought one anyway?

Meg - you really are a magnet to (frankly) weird people

They would have just taken another child (hardly difficult to find another one wanting to go is it!!) so you really didn't need to pay (but kind of you to offer - she should have said 'No') as for asking for the present then turning up ... more front than Harrods.

She should have thanked you for letting her know in advance and sent her best for DS getting better soon - end of.

no, not the done thing.
if dc can't come to the party there will be no present.

So you paid how much for this non-attendance? She owes you, send her an invoice when it's your child's birthday.

ong op that is beyond rude

Have you phoned the mother to ask when she is dropping off your childs party bag???

No lifes, not at all.

That really is just stunningly rude. Incredible! . Personally, I don't know anyone who would have accepted your offer of paying for the place (not that I'd have offered), but to then even ask for a present, is beyond belief, and I can't begin to think of words for the coming round to collect it !

I am absolutely speechless, OP.

Speechless that she accepted the money from you for your Ds's place and speechless that she had the audacity to a) ask for a present and b) turn up for it.

I hope you didn't give it to her!!

Oh my goodness, people are so rude!

Last year dd1's party was at a soft play and it was £14.50 a head. One girl was not allowed to come as she had been naughty and was being punished.

Her mum came to the party and insisted in paying and although i said it was ok but she insisted. I had to pay up front for all the children wouldn't have have been refunded for the no shows - of which there were 4 so i was grateful!!

How dare she think she can show up at your house for the present though - is she normally so forward - do you know her well?