Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be really upset to read on MN

719 replies

shootingstarz · 23/03/2012 08:47

That parents are going without food because they can?t afford to feed their kids.

OP posts:
lesley33 · 23/03/2012 23:51

boffin - i know they have limits. But our branch library actually has long opening times.

Star - I accepted all along I may be being unreasonable which is why I asked about ages - because this does affect people's perceptions. As a kid I remember older people querying people being poor if they had fridges - because when they were young a fridge was a very expensive luxury.

Starwisher · 23/03/2012 23:52

You know in ye olde days poor people had no glasses

They were alright in the end. So make do.

Starwisher · 23/03/2012 23:53

Blimey, how old are you Lesley?!

lesley33 · 23/03/2012 23:56

47 - and was really only in 60's working class people started to get fridges.

BTW am not saying people shouldn't have fridges. Just saying age does affect perceptions.

shreddedmum · 23/03/2012 23:56

I am shocked that people are still surprised or disbelieving about poverty in the UK.
We bring breakfast cereals and UHT milk to church every week where it is distributed to families whose children go to school hungry in our area. Its not a new thing Sad

cory · 23/03/2012 23:57

One thing that has struck me is how much more expensive the food shops are in the poorest part of town. And how bad the choice is. And how little there is that you could really cook a healthy meal from. And that is where the people live who cannot afford to go anywhere else for food.

I can live very cheaply because I can afford to live near a good shop, I can afford allotment fees and seeds, if need be I can take the bus somewhere else to find something I want to cook, I have a proper kitchen with a proper cooker (not metered), I have a full assortment of pots and pans and I can afford to buy in bulk to save money. It is very cheap to be comfortably off.

Starwisher · 23/03/2012 23:58

Aww shredded mum your making me tearful

Good for the church too, it helped us before

IAmBooyhoo · 23/03/2012 23:58

do you know what are luxuries for me? shaving my legs. i would love to be able to afford a razor and shave my legs. or salt and vinegar at the table. i can't remember the last time i've had either, (never mind mayonaisse Sad Grin) or proper shower gel instead of asda smartprice bath foam watered down and which will never be used for a bath in this house as we cant afford them. we dont have tv so the only entertainment my children get that isn't selfcreated is cbeebies online, oh, they have a CD player and a few children's CD which they love but maybe we should sell that because it's a luxury they can do without.

lesley33 · 24/03/2012 00:03

boo - Of course I am not saying you shouldn't have a DVD player or that you should sell it. What part of the country do you live in btw?

dreamingbohemian · 24/03/2012 00:05

I just don't understand why people have such a failure of imagination.

I mean, I don't drive, I've never had a car. It's never been a problem for me, ever.

So I could sit here and say that a car is a luxury and all you poor people with cars are being stupid and it's your own fault for being poor if you won't sell your car.

But I can actually imagine that other people have different circumstances, where they do need a car. And it's actually easier to believe that if people have a car and not much food, it's only because for them a car is a necessity.

DoomCatsofCognitiveDissonance · 24/03/2012 00:06

Of course age affects perceptions, and personal situations vary hugely. But what you don't have by way of common gadgets mentioned on this thread has very little to do with how poor you are - things like internet are a rotten measure of what people can afford.

My granny's generation would think anyone who didn't have a bath tub was poor, because they're the generation who remember outside toilets and so on. Now I have seen some dead posh luxury flats with no baths - and power showers, instead. That sort of thing is why it's pointless to compare back to what material goods have been used as a measure of wealth/povertyy in the past - they're completely dependent on context.

IAmBooyhoo · 24/03/2012 00:11

i know, sorry i was getting angry, not just at you but with all the others on thsi thread jsut disbeleiving that i exist as i do.

i'm in northern ireland.

maggiethecat · 24/03/2012 00:16

That's why I get cross when my children mess around with food. I think they think I'm joking when I say that there are many hungry people around.

lesley33 · 24/03/2012 00:18

Sorry only asked as I know a lot locally about projects that help people struggling - but I am in England.

ScroobiousPip · 24/03/2012 00:20

I guess the internet kinda illustrates the distinction between relative poverty v absolute poverty.

Absolute poverty is about having nothing. Relative poverty broadly is about not having enough to function within the particular locality that that person lives in. (OK there is probably a technical definition somewhere that is better - please link if someone has one). So a generation ago a freezer or a car wasn't a necessity, now the loss of local shops and buses means they are essentials for some people, especially in rural areas. But perhaps not for others who live in central london because it may be possible to live there without a car or even a freezer potentially (depends on your circs). Ten years ago the internet wasn't a necessity, now not having it means higher costs and social exclusion for some people - again, especially in rural areas.

Yes, let's deal with absolute poverty. But it's also in all our interests to also focus on getting people out of relative poverty, not trapping in a poverty cycle of benefits and food stamps which they can't escape because they can't afford the tools to operate within today's society (car, internet, work clothes etc).

lenak · 24/03/2012 00:21

Don't have time to comment fully, but just wanted to post this in case it helps anyone here:

Feed a family of four for £100 per month

OnceHomeless · 24/03/2012 00:22

Lots of things are more expensive when you're short of money: car tax - 6 months more expensive than 1 year; car insurance - extra charges for paying premiums by instalments. Accidentally slip 50p into overdraft, get smacked with a £30 bank charge. I see really good bulk buy offers sometimes, like 2 x 24 packs of loo rolls for £7.50 at my local supermarket, but I don't have £7.50 knocking about and have to buy 4 rolls for £1.95. Electricity and gas - who pays the highest tarriffs? Not people who have regular bank accounts and can set up direct debits, but the people who have to use payment cards.

I feel very lucky that I have a little more money than I did a year or two ago - just enough that I'm NOT slipping into overdraft and paying those charges. I can't tell you how worrying about money affected my sleep, my mental health, etc.

The attitudes of a few posters on here are beyond the pale. Just because you 'don't believe' people live in poverty in the UK, doesn't mean that's actually the truth.

garlicbutter · 24/03/2012 00:28

Slightly off-topic, but Lesley's right about fridges. When I was little we had a meat safe - a lockable metal box with a grille over the front - which didn't keep anything fresh. People did come out with the same old claptrap: you can't be poor, you've got a fridge; you can't be poor, you've got a phone; you can't be poor, you've got a car; etc.

The thing is - unless you are talking about absolute poverty - each individual prioritises how to spend any money they do have. The thing you notice most, ime, is the erosion of choice. As it was a nice day today, I wanted to go and have a coffee in the park. My entertainment budget is zero, so my actual choices were sit in the park without coffee or come home and have coffee. It doesn't sound like much but, as that kind of self-denial becomes your routine, it grinds you down and makes you feel limited. The other universal truth is how phenomenally much more expensive everything is for the poor.

When my benefits are reduced, end of next month, I will be living on £65 a week for up to six months. At least it's Spring now. Last year they did it in January - you remember how cold it was last winter. The inside of my fridge was warmer than my kitchen! I couldn't afford to dry any laundry, lived on rice and oats for a whole fortnight at one point and was totally fucking miserable. Even with the warmer weather, I won't manage on £65 and will have to use credit. The only credit I can get is expensive. So, if my claim's approved in four months' time, the back-pay will not cover the credit I've run up. And so it goes on.

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 24/03/2012 00:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

garlicbutter · 24/03/2012 00:43

ScroobiousPip, the definitions of relative poverty are going to be rewritten.

The people who've been looking into fuel poverty have recognised that location, type of house, means of heating and how you pay for your fuel all impact on your actual level of fuel poverty. The current method says you're in fuel poverty if your heating costs more than 10% of your income. Of course, there are people paying almost nothing for their heating - and freezing to death! - because they simply do not have the 10% available for fuel. Or because their homes are so fuel-inefficient (as mine is), they have no hope of getting it warm and buy more duvets instead.

Thanks to that research guy, who has finally done some proper homework, it's become clear that none of our poverty measures are fit for purpose. I imagine it will be some time before the project gets done, though ... and suspect our govt will prefer to keep the results quiet.

The fact that absolute poverty is so quickly on the rise, along with slum housing, is shameful and will adversely affect everyone in the UK.

Oh, dear, I'm going to have trouble sleeping now!

lesley33 · 24/03/2012 00:43

I never said i didn't believe people were in poverty. And I do know things are more expensive if you are poor.

CreepyWeeBrackets · 24/03/2012 00:45

MissGreatBritain, I, for one, would like a link to the home-made washing liquid. Thanks in advance Smile

iscream · 24/03/2012 01:19

I know people now who do not have internet, cable for their tv or a phone. These people are on either disability benefits or welfare. The kids use the school and library computers.

There is a difference between the low income people who manage ways to have tv, internet and phone service, and the ones who actually cannot afford those things. They can put a roof over their head and eat, usually a poor diet at that. I know people who pawned their tv's etc, they certainly had no internet or even phones.

GraceVictoria · 24/03/2012 01:32

I am being completely srious when I ask this.

Why is obesity such a problem in the UK?

We grew up relatively poor. Good food always came first.

We were a single parent family which was quite a novelty then.

To this day my DM doesn't use any processed foods. One of my siblings was worried about her because her "food cupboard was bare". i.e. no tins or packets or bottles of food.

DM has fresh and vegetables from her own garden. She still buys cheap cuts of meat and "boiler" chickens which provide plenty of beautiful soup ,curries and casseroles.

GraceVictoria · 24/03/2012 01:34

Fresh fruit and vegetables. Buys old fruit from the supermarket and stews it (Apples, plums etc).

Swipe left for the next trending thread